Just accept the anxiety and symptoms or get to the route of the underlying issue?

[Gotagetthroughthis]

So ive been struggling with anxiety along with lots of physical symptoms that come with it for a couple of years now. Over that time ive learnt a lot about anxiety and tried various things to get myself back to some sort of calm and happiness and free myself of the symptoms but I have not had much luck.

I have used the acceptance technique, tried to accept all symptoms, all fears, float through anxiety, not react to it, act as though I do not have anxiety etc etc. This has helped somewhat, in terms of anxiety I am still generally anxious and feel very odd 90% of the time but I don't think I could have a panic attack now or anything that severe in terms of pure fear/anxiety as I know what it is when it comes and I can accept the feelings and pretty much stop the panic in its tracks. That is good but I am still plagued with symptoms every day and my head always feels odd, pressured, uncomfortable and I just feel weird with slight derealisation all of the time with various peaks of anxiety throughout each day/week.

Enough about me, the point is this thread was the title question. What is the best method to choose and how do you go about it? If you feel your accepting anxiety but still have anxiety and still have non stop symptoms then is getting to the underlying fear or cause the answer? There must have been some incidents in our lives that have caused us to become like this and to have these fears. It could be 1 massive incident that you know has caused your anxiety or it could be a number of smaller incidents that has pushed us over the edge and caused us to have this anxiety and long lasting fear of something.

I have a vague idea why I have my anxiety, is speaking to a therapist the answer to bring this underlying cause to the surface the answer to getting better? If so how do you bring it to the surface and stop it affecting you in a negative way?

I have seen many therapists and have some idea of why I am the way I am but I don't know how to resolve the underlying cause/fear.

Just wondered what people think about this? Has anyone brought an underlying, subconscious issue to the surface that has resolved their anxiety?

Would love to hear peoples thoughts on this.

[Rennie1989]

I did exactly as you did. I developed panic attacks at 13 so I was still learning to get to grips with my new, mature body along with these nasty anxiety symptoms. As I grew up into adulthood I learnt that these symptoms were harmless, or I'd be in a worse state then I am now. As you said accepting took the panic attacks away, which was helped by a course of conselling at 17.

I still get anxiety, I am not cured. I keep using the acceptance techniques and say to myself 'It's only anxiety, a normal response to what is going on. Keep concentrating at the task at hand and keep breathing normally' and that's it. If I think about it too much then the anxiety will only get worse.

What people forget is that this can take a very long time to 'master'. You cannot expect to be anxiety free after a week of doing this. I have been panic attack free for 16 months but my anxiety is still doing its stuff. I may never be anxiety free but I shan't let it rule my life again. Maybe one day I'll wake up and go 'Wow, the anxiety is gone!'

But then you have to learn what is RATIONAL and IRRATIONAL anxiety too, just to make things harder for you :P

[Gotagetthroughthis]

Renni1989, your right it does take a very long time to master acceptance and even if you feel your fully accepting a lot of the time we probably aren't. Even when fully accepting I imagine it would take months/years before the symptoms would fully subside.

What do you think on resolving the underlying/subconscious issue that may be keeping us stuck in this anxiety state?

[swgrl09]

Honestly, I think you have to do both. I think accepting anxiety and symptoms can go so far, and then to really get to the root you have to look at what is behind the anxiety and where it came from. Then once you understand that, you have to heal that part of you to really move on.

For me, accepting my anxiety was just the first step. Once I stopped beating myself up over each time I got anxious, it was easier to then look at my anxiety with a magnifying glass and understand it better.

There are a number of ways to get to the root of the anxiety. I don't think it's a one-size fits all approach. I think that is also one of the short-comings of CBT, unless you have a really good therapist who does go deeper with you. I don't believe I will be truly healed of anxiety until I heal the parts of my personality that caused this extreme reaction to frightening events. I can do all the CBT I want to help manage it, but the original problem/wound/scar will always be there until I go deeper.

So again, people do this a lot of different ways. There's narrative therapy, in which you tell your story and sometimes therapists will ask you to re-write your narrative to how you would like to to be if you were healed or if something different happened to not lead you to having anxiety.

There's EMDR, which most people think of as for PTSD only but that's not true anymore. EMDR can be applied to a lot of things. Small, repeated events during childhood that might not seem traumatic actually can be and can cause anxiety. EMDR can be used in that case. I did EMDR for two big traumas and actually a couple smaller "traumas" from childhood.

There's IFS (Internal Family Systems) which is what I am learning more about and have used myself. This is a wonderful model of therapy where you see your anxiety as just one part of your personality. It is non-pathologizing, which has helped me because I beat myself up so much about my anxiety. It helps with the acceptance piece and the deeper piece. You get to know the parts of your personality and learn that the anxiety part is really just protecting another part of you that was hurt at some point in your life. Once you heal the part that was hurt, the anxiety part doesn't have to do it's job anymore. IFS has helped me a LOT. It also helps me with blips too (like I am experiencing this morning :) )

Gestalt therapy is also out there and is really emotional, in the moment, etc. It can be helpful, but I haven't experienced it myself.

Psychoanalysis (Think freud!) also looks at deeper issues. It is not like it used to be when Freud was big though. People don't think everything is about how you want to sleep with your parents anymore, haha.

I know I am leaving out a ton, but those are the ways I can think of off the top of my head. I truly believe to reach these issues, a therapist is crucial. It is really hard to do it on your own because sometimes therapists can see things and connect dots that we can't connect. Addressing the deeper issues has helped me a lot honestly. I'm not perfect yet. I still get anxious. But I get through it now instead of getting lost in it. I think, overall, I am much better at accepting my family for who they are and who they aren't. I am also much better at forgiving family members who's actions contributed to my anxiety as a kid. I just feel more peaceful overall.

[Rennie1989]

I think it is a huge benefit to explore possible issues but sometimes it can make the matter worse bringing up memories and feelings from the past. And in some instances it may never resolve a thing. I know why I suffer from anxiety, I will discuss this with a counsellor (if and when I finally get the referral) and I hope it relieves the mood swings, but I doubt it'll touch on my anxiety. I have had it for 11 years now and it's up to me to perfect my techniques.

I would love to try EMDR as my memories do come up as flash backs, but I can't even afford to see a dentist -_-

[swgrl09]

Rennie, you never know. It might help in the long-run. I thought the same thing honestly. I always knew where my anxiety and my anger/depresion came from, but I never really healed it. I knew that anxiety came from a combination of losing my mom and growing up with people with health anxiety all around me. The kicker for my anxiety continuing is that I'm not sure I can ever heal the loss of my mom. I think it will always be a process for me.

With my anger and depression, again I knew the situations that caused those parts. My family still hasn't changed regarding the situation (without getting into detail, it's a lot sorry) but I have changed my perspective and don't live in the emotions anymore. I knew that the parts of me that get angry and depressed needed real validation. I forgave myself for things that had happened that I used to blame myself for. I also gained an understanding about why my family members were doing things that hurt me. I'm more at peace overall about some of the events in my life.

I guess my point is ... I thought I knew why I had anxiety, but once you get into therapy with a good therapist, you never know where it will go or what will come up. Things came up that I was 99% positive I had dealt with and was over... turns out I wasn't.

But it truly is different for everybody because everybody (therapist included) is different.

Sorry you are struggling financially. I know the feeling. I have a huge deductible on my insurance, so have to pay out of pocket for therapy and that's why I'm not currently going right now.