I'm getting married!!

[vicky23]

Hi everyone,

So as the title suggests I got engaged a few months ago and will be getting married in October this year.

I'm really excited but also I think my anxiety has been increasing in different ways i.e. stomach pain, nausea, dizzy spells, OCD becoming more acute in terms of checking things at work.

I think this is largely due to having to be assertive. I find that I'm worrying about these things a lot. So obviously suppliers want me to give them more money for things we don't necessarily want or need. An example is we're going for a meal after our ceremony and I said I wanted to do it for £10 per head, that would include their regular 'special' at £5.50 with then £4.50 left over for a drink which should be totally doable cos most people would have a coke or a pint of lager or something. But the woman we were dealing with then said 'that's going to be a struggle can you go to £12 a head and I'll do welcome drinks of prosecco' I found myself saying yes because even though that's not want I want! so now have to go back and bargain with her :( arrghh My fiancé will be coming with me so that's support but still.

I know that I can't shy away from these kinds of situations because I need to learn to deal with people but still I am so tempted sometimes just to ask my fiancé to do it :blush:

[Rennie1989]

It helps to plan before going out and buying things. Set out a budget for the whole wedding (and honeymoon, if you're having one) and set out how much you want to spend on each. Wedding magazines often have examples of budget plans and ones that you fill in yourself. Once I decided my colours, theme, date and wedding party (best man, bridesmaids etc) things began falling to place because you have an idea of what you want.

It is OK to say no, they will not be offended. If you carry on saying yes to everything then these sales people will take you on for a ride. I asked for a price list from a florist and the bouquet I wanted would had been £140, whereas I spent £170 on EVERYTHING because I looked elsewhere and swapped real flowers to fake. Sales people will always start their bargaining at the top so do haggle and get the price as low as you can. Do a lot of research and ask other brides how much they paid for things so you know you're not being robbed and that you're not haggling too low.

Bring people like your mum and bridesmaids to dress shops and your fiance to venues and catering meetings. When things get expensive (like your dress, venue etc) you should have somebody with you to talk it through, when you're spending money in the thousands it can get very stressful.

Assertiveness does come in time, I was very nervous of saying no at first but as you begin picturing your perfect wedding day you want it exact.

[swgrl09]

When I planned my wedding, I used www.theknot.com ... they have tons of tools, like checklists, budgeting, forums, etc. It was so helpful. I definitely understand the stress!!

Congratulations!

[vicky23]

thanks girls will have a look at that website :D XX

[Rennie1989]

UkBride is very good too, it has a community forum where you can talk to brides and married women alike. You'll find what ever question you have would have been answered before, it's incredibly resourceful!