Why this desperate fear of cancer

[Humly]

There are many illnesses in the world but my biggest fear is cancer and when my health anxiety flares up I seem to twist every symptom around to fit this. I have been asking myself just what is it that I am so afraid of. We all have to die at some point, I accept that and I am not afraid of dying, but its the thought of the treatment involved, which is very unpleasant, and a long lingering painful illness/end that I cant deal with. There is a history of heart disease in my family but that just does not bother me, I just dont really think about my heart at all. I have got it into my head that once a diagnosis of cancer is made, then thats it - no hope - and thats not always true. So I continue to misinterpret things happening in my body such as pain, lumps, bumps etc and panic about them because I dont want to suffer. I have got about the same chance as anyone else of getting this disease but why do I freak out about it so much when the next person just gets on with life. It scares me so much and I wish there was a way of calming it down so I can start to live life without fear.

[NotCool]

There's a saying that EVERYONE would get cancer if they lived long enough. Cancer has always been and always will be.

Most of the cancer diagnoses are made on older populations, and cancer itself is just an umbrella term for 200+ different diseases. They are horrible, that's a fact, some more than others, but they are unlikely and not very common in young people. There are always exceptions, and that's just the way it is and you'll have to accept that.

The fear of cancer is a product of media exaggeration with the disease, which is creating the impression that cancer is literally everywhere, that no one is safe, that it's basically a death sentence, that the victim is left with only pain and horrible suffering... But it's wrong to think of it only in that way. There are a lot of cancer survivors today, and some treatment options are still crude, but effective. There's people who beat cancer and lead normal lives. It's useless to dwell on the fear that you might get it. Yes, you might get it some day, but you might get shot, stabbed or hit by a car as well.

Real killer is fear. Sedentary inactive lifestyle, stress, wrong diet, unbalanced sleep schedule. Soft and hard drugs. Those are things that you actually can do something about.

[luc]

Hi Humly,
You are not alone:hugs:
I am/ was the same. I had even narrowed it down to female cancers. I do not get to the treatments and death as I am am ( struggling with how to put this) stuck in the moment with it. For years I have tried to explain this to myself and therapists. Years ago I saw a CBT 'therapist' who had read the book but hadn't quite got it. She asked my what could be the worst thing that could happen if you died and left your children...!!:doh: I just said that I would no know because I would no be aware. Like I say her handle on CBT was limited to say the least. I am now trying to apply CBT to the little picture for example in my reaction to feeling pain, touching boobs, seeing underwear, seeing blood etc. It is the process of being vigilant and applying my avoidance techniques that makes me anxious and exhausted. My big question is what do we get out of being in that moment subconsciously or consciously that makes us go back time and time again. I hope I haven't bamboozled people and done another 'thread stopper' ha.

---------- Post added at 16:17 ---------- Previous post was at 16:15 ----------

Great response not cool.

[TheHusband]

Cancer is the main fear my wife has, above all other illnesses, as part of her health anxiety. Checking breasts is a problem as they are so lumpy anyway she gets paranoid she has found something, and occasionally has panic attacks as a result.

It is not a fear limited to common cancers. One time that sticks in my mind is when she had a bit of a twinge in her knee. Her obvious thought was 'knee cancer', even though neither of us had ever heard of this existing.

She is also unable to say the word "cancer" and has to allude to it if we have a conversation where she needs to voice her fears. She winces visibly if I say the word.

I think her fear is fed by the knowledge that some tumours can be caught early. So she thinks that she might save herself by noticing that little twinge in her knee, or that odd mole on her arm, and not ignoring it.

Unfortunately she is also terrified of the doctors, and so she never goes to get her knee/boob/mole looked at. She just checks and checks again, until she feels physically sore from rubbing with her hands. Then she asks me over and over about it. Then she sits for three weeks believing she is going to die, and wastes her life. After a while it seems to pass, usually with the next mystery symptom cropping up.

Your comment about "twisting symptoms to fit" is very much in line with what my wife does. You are not alone; there are thousands of others doing this, worrying about cancer, right now. I don't think you need to do anything different to the other anxiety sufferers; follow the guidance elsewhere about dealing with the anxiety in general.

[luc]

you sure that's not you James?

[Fishmanpa]

Great response NotCool!

I'm a survivor of one of the more deadly cancers out there and I was Stage IV. Oh it sucked all right but it's not the death sentence so many here fear.

What NotCool said is spot on.

"Real killer is fear. Sedentary inactive lifestyle, stress, wrong diet, unbalanced sleep schedule. Soft and hard drugs. Those are things that you actually can do something about."

The stress of worrying (anxiety) and all the other things mentioned are more dangerous than the cancer itself. Cancer has the potential to bury you below ground. Anxiety and HA does that above ground.

Positive thoughts

[unsure_about_this]

Cancer is a big fear for me, all started with a simple bowel screening (poop sample) for my Dad because he reach the age for testing in 2012, late 2011 possible December he was sent his kit, I have high anxious about cancer since, even though his test result came back fine. 2010 was a fear of bone cancer because of leg pain.
I had CBT which did not help me. I always checking myself. I would go to GP every day if I could, including weekends if the practice I attend opened

[Humly]

Thank you for the replies. Excellent points made. I think I will print this out and read over it and hopefully it might begin to sink into my stupid brain x

[Carnation]

This was also one of my fears and what makes it worse for me, is I have several friends that got Cancer and my Mother also had Cancer when I was only 8 years old. So, I've sort of grew up with it being there in the House. The trouble is, it seems everywhere, even on TV; adverts popping up all the time, even featured in Corrie. I think the Media have brought it more to the forefront. Its always been around, but we hear more about it now. And you are all right. Its the fear, that's the worse thing and when my Mother got better after a grueling 8 years. She thought everything little ache or pain was the Cancer come back. She is still alive today aged 81 years old. In-fact, my very fit Father died first, as I mentioned before, he only died a month ago and that was what really shocked me. My mother was the one who suffered the disease and at one point, the Doctors had written her off and she's still with us today. Her attitude was to Live her Life and get the most out of it, and that's a very good quote to use for all of us. We don't know what's in store for any of us, but we are Alive today and if we keep worrying, we could worry ourselves into being ill. Live and enjoy the Sun!

[annie2008]

Hi all

This is my worst fear too. I dont alway suffer this bad but Im into overdrive right now :( I am consumed with the thought of cervical cancer. Why? What symptoms have I got, well I have none, yep thats right none! So the reason for my anxiety. Just recently I went for my 3 yearly smear, the one every woman gets an invite for. Cant say I like them but I go. I am waiting for my results which could take 4-6 weeks and I can hardly cope. My anxiety is through the roof and cant stop think horrible thoughts.I am suffering from probably the worst bout of anxiety ever. You are not alone in this. :)

[hanshan]

Something's gonna get you. It's just a matter of when, not what.

[bluetopazgirl]

My worst fear too. But only blood cancers. My dad died of lukeamia so lukeamia and lymphoma are my huge fears even though I have Kidney disease that doesn't scare me one bit! You are not alone and some very good points made! x

[Carnation]

Hi November Angel,

I had Kidney Disease as a Baby and survived many, many , many years after and still going strong! Always remember to drink plenty. :)

[TheHusband]

...hopefully it might begin to sink into my stupid brain

I expect you know you are not stupid, really. But just in case anyone out there falls into the trap of doing themselves down...
Don't call yourself stupid! It is incorrect.

It would be accurate to say, "...hopefully it might begin to sink into my hormonally-imbalanced badly-trained brain."

[Humly]

Thanks for that. I just need to re-train my brain dont I. I suppose thats where cbt and counselling come in but I cant bring myself to go for it as I think I know it all and just dont believe it would work. I hope your wife realises how lucky she is to have your support.

[blueangel]

Maybe the angle to take on that is that there is nobody on the planet who knows it all!

If you think about it, the worst that could happen is that CBT won't work, so you may as well try it anyway...

[TheHusband]

.... I cant bring myself to go for it as I think I know it all and just dont believe it would work....

That's how I feel myself, actually, when I've looked at using CBT and similar techniques for curing phobias (spiders, heights). The temptation is to think I am clever enough to 'get' what CBT is, summed up in one sentence, and think "surely it can't be that simple".

Truth is (I now reckon) that it IS that simple in principle...but actually doing the exercises over and over, taking the time to do exactly what is advised, is not simple or easy.

I believe it can work. Wish I could find the right person to deliver it to my wife. Can it really be effective when done DIY style?

[Stressed32]

I am a new member of the fear cancer club. Previously, it was HIV. Once I got a test, that fear subsided but now it's cancer....every kind in every organ and part of my body. You name it, I have an ache or lump or pain there and it must be the big C. I think my fear is because it's the only illness I know of that has caused so many loved ones death. I mean I don't know anyone with mS or heart disease, but three people in my immediate family have had cancer, one has passed. I guess in my mind world, that makes it common but really it isn't as common as we think. I have spent some time learning about many cures and treatments that have nothing to do w chemo and radiation and that made me feel better, but I'm still scared. Currently my left rib is hurting and I am sure it is a spleen issue and I either have leukemia or colon cancer...not anxiety mind you as I read that this was caused by anxiety. I hate this sickness, I really do.

[luc]

You have hit the nail on the head there Husband!