Overcome with fear of throat cancer

[Scottpanic81]

Hello all. Just joined and was looking for some advice. Three months ago, I found a lump on my lip and it would swell up with saliva. I burst it a few times and it stopped filling up. A lump is still there but I think it is scar. Anyway, I went to the dentist who referred me to hospital. Was meant to get that checked but hospital cancelled for another 5 weeks. Getting it checked next week.

I'm not so much worried about the lump on my lip but I now h ave a soft movable lump on my neck. I managed to get this checked by a nurse who thinks it's a gland. However, that has provoked me into thinking I have throat cancer. I'm obsessively thinking about my voice and how it sounds. Sometimes I feel that I am missing sound when I speak but no one comments on it and the times I have plucked up the courage to ask, others say my voice sounds normal, but I can feel it. To me, it feels different. I go between worrying about throat cancer and lymphoma. The focus of my mind on a particular condition at a time makes me feel more and more like I have that. I do realise the power of my mind and the influence it has.

I have also had a very stressful year. I'm becoming hesitant about speaking because it always seems to be when I feel that I am anxious that my voice feels funnier. Of course, it's all linked to the reading on symptoms I did when I had the original lump on my lip. I developed a sore ear after reading that a sore ear was linked to throat cancer.

In the middle of sever panic, I phoned our 24 hour line and asked if someond could please be arranged to look at my throat and that I had a lump on my throat but the nurse had said it was a swollen gland. The advisor also said that it was probably a gland and that it can happen to being run down. Well, I certainly am run down but I feel I'm in a vicious circle. She said at 32 and non smoker, it was very unlikely that I would have that and that I would h ave received an urgent referral if the dentist earlier had suspected oral cancer (because by this time, I had worked myself up that I had mentioned I felt cancer had spread from my lip to my throat)

I often feel guilty because I appear to be questioning experts but the time this has taken and will probably continue to take is having an impact on my life. I don't know what to do sometimes when the panic takes hold. I'm so much in fear. I'm hardly even thinking about my original 'problem' of the lip because I am totally obsessing about my throat and the last couple of days I've been focused on my swallowing. Is it normal? Why does it sometimes click? Is this likely to all be anxiety?

The ironic thing is that I have actually put weight on which seems to go against any cancer suspicions and in a way that's a good sign, even though I don't particularly want to put weight on. Can anxiety make someone feel their voice is going funny when it isn't or can it even make you stumble a bit when you feel you aren't projecting properly. Can anxiety make you feel swallowing is difficult when it isn't? Can the swollen gland simply be a virus/due to being run down. I was told it is extremely unlikely to be oral cancer. But, on the phone, this only offers partial alleviation and then another panic comes on. For example, I start to think: they are supposed to say things to reassure you; they aren't going to tell me that they think it's serious etc etc. Hope you can message me back.

[Neen]

Hi Scott

I can totally relate to your worries.

My health anxiety is throat cancer and skin cancer. Ironically I am a head and neck, Maxillo Facial Nurse Specialist. All day long I see skin cancer and general head and neck cancer.

I suffered a few years ago with globus - lump in my throat sensation and demanded every test in the world to rule anything out. More recently I had a mole appear on my toe (which is an uncommon place to have a mole) and freaked. Made all the consultants look at me and send me on a urgent referral to dermatology.

The more you worry, the worse it gets.

I am under increasing amount of pressure at work and home and my globus feeling has come back. Along with the gut churning anxiety and fear of death. Premature death and parental death (I am worried about my Mother's cough)

I am currently sat at work typing this. On antibiotics and making all the consultants look at me; however they know what I am like and are very kind. But I still question them! I work with them and see cancer and yet I still question their knowledge!

I just wish I could cure all ths worry and fear.

The most common side affect of anxiety - is this feeling of a lump in the throat, throat swelling, difficulty swallowing and because these symtoms are similar to some oral cancer, we then think it is oral cancer. Its a catch 22 situation.

I hope this has been of some comfort to you.

Kind regards

Nina

[Scottpanic81]

Thanks. I went for my appointment on Tuesday and was quite reassured. First, the mouth. He said that it had been a mucocele, which is what I suggested to the Dentist back in March but was told it wasn't. He also said I'd done well to deal with it myself cos most people require a small procedure. He checked all my mouth and throat.

I mentioned that I had become anxious about my throat. He checked all round my neck and in my throat, but I was told everything was healthy.

However, just on my way out home, I remembered I hadn't mentioned sometimes get a pain in my left ear. I suddenly started to feel unwell again; wondering if missing that out would somehow have changed what he said.

The problem with my voice is not that I'm hoarse; it's that I feel like I'm going to choke when I'm speaking. But a couple of days ago, I was totally relaxed and I felt free because I could not feel any restriction at all. I've just been singing whilst cleaning and thinking that the sound vibrations in my throat are quite noticeable.

I'm not sure how I feel now