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Mal
12-12-06, 14:08
I have recently found this forum and am hoping that someone here will be able to help.
I have for some years had pretty serious heart problems. 8 years ago I had a bypass but that was unsuccessful ~ as a result I was fitted with an implanted defibrillator. That delivered several shocks about a year after implantation and I was advised to attend "counseling" which I did for about 6 months. I was told that shocks from such devices usually lead to the need for some help to be able to deal with mentally.
Over the following years I have had various operations, including "stenting" none of which have helped. Most recently, with a view to further surgery, I was instructed to stop taking my medication to control my heart rhythm for 48 hours and report to hospital for some tests to be carried out. These involved using drugs to "stress" the heart and allow them to scan the reaction.
On arrival at the hospital my heart rate rose suddenly and the implanted device, assuming that my heart had gone into ventricular tachycardia delivered a number of shocks (9 in 12 minutes) before the medics could get it switched off. These shocks were deemed "inappropriate" at I had not gone into VT. It was suggested but never proved that my newly diagnosed diabetes and the insulin taken to control it had caused the increase in heart rate and that the lack of beta blockers (due to the hospitals instructions not taken for 48 hours) had enabled this to happen. I never did get to take the tests and have now told them "No more" until they sort this out.
OK I accept that and realise that "these things do happen" though I admit to being pretty angry with the doctors for putting me in that position, particularly as I has questioned the wisdom of it some days before.
This all happened in April of this year. Since that time I have suffered a number of "attacks" similar in nature but without the shocks. These have happened both when I have been out and at home. I can no longer force myself to go out and spend much of my time in bed. The attacks are very similar to heart attacks and/or severe angina) Of the 8 occasions I have been out of the house 4 have resulted in admission to hospital via an ambulance and 3 have been when an ambulance has been summoned to the house.
Hospital can find nothing wrong with my heart (other than that which is known) and no changes to my ECG traces. When the attacks occur my heart rate rises and blood pressure goes sky high. Various different drugs (medications) have been prescribed over the period but I have reacted badly to each one and they have had to be stopped again. Basically the doctors have tried to use medication to stamp on the symptoms rather than seek a cause. It has been suggested that I am having "understandable anxiety attacks" and that I am also "profoundly depressed". This all means that I have ticked the wrong (or is it right) boxes on their check list.
I am, as I said, angry that the doctors caused this and are now making little attempt to find the causes as they are satisfied that the symptoms are not "heart driven". Via my GP I am now taking, on top of all heart medications, diazepam 4mg x 3 every 24 hours but it does not seem to do much good. The GP also prescribed Citilapram but the Hospital "Specialists" felt that might be one of the problems as it can cause palpitations and took me off it. I have now been referred (via my GP) to the "Community Psychology team" and have been seen, at home, by one of their nurses "for assessment" Today an appointment to see the 'Consultant Clinical Psychologist" has arrived in the post. Just reading it brought on an attack .... I suspect because they have asked me to go to their clinic which means going out!
Help!!!!!
What do I do?
Can I fight this on my own?
Do I need to see this person? If so is it likely that I can be seen at home?
Last time in Hospital they gave me something called Lorazepram. Just 2mg and that made me feel great for several hours but they would not prescribe it. Does anyone here know this drug? Is it available via my GP? Should I bother t

megan222
12-12-06, 16:29
Hello Mal,

You poor man! I really empathize with your situation - that is so much to deal with. I'm sorry about all of your health issues - I do very much believe that those would make anyone anxious! It seems as if the doctors have put you through quite alot.

I can say that I do think you should see a therapist to help you deal with the anxiety. I do think that would help - you can research different therapists, and ask if they'd see you at home. If you have real medical reasons for staying home, they may, but if it's the anxiety making you stay home, a therapist may want you to come to them - call around and see what you find.

I'd keep following up with the physicians, but don't be afraid to speak your mind if you think something they are doing is leading you down the wrong path!

I do hope things will look up for you soon. Hang in there - it sounds as if you are handling things the way anyone would. Jeesh, I can get paniced over something much more simple, like an asthma attack, or my bp going a bit high. It sounds like you've handled your stress pretty well. But now, I'd see a therapist, and get some help so you can deal with the anxiety.

I hope all this rambling has helped some!

Take care of yourself,

megan

LickeyEndBlues
12-12-06, 16:41
Hi Mal

Phew you have been through it!! There seems to be a couple of big issues affecting you; physical and mental...and both are interrelated.

I really can't comment on your physical ailments but the impact of those are most definately creating anxieties for you. Given the various medicines you are taking there must be issues in regard of complications that the various side effects are having.

Some of the advice in various forums in here may help you. There is plenty of support and advice which you should be able to relate to.

Take care

Iain

What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

honeybee3939
12-12-06, 18:17
Hi Mal

A BIG warm welcome to you, lovely to see you here, im sure you will get some great advice here while making new friends on the way.:D

I hope we can be of some help.


First Steps:
First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=942)

Love

Andrea
xxx


"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"

trac67
12-12-06, 20:40
Hi,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.

Take care

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

airwolf451
13-12-06, 04:24
Hi Mal

man buddy you have had a time of it havent you

i really truely admire your courage and strength, you have bucket loads of it.

from what i can read an im no expert but after all you have been through with your heart you body may be reacting to it, in the form of anxiety, and after some scares , ie your shocks, it can be quite common for the body to re-act in this way,

the mind is a powerful tool, and when it feels threatned it goes into fight or flight mode, fight being the anxiety and flight being in this case the fear to leave the safety of your home in case something happens.

i agree that seeing a counselor is the right course of action here, along with advice from the hospital and GP.

your body is gonna take time to get used towhats going on, but you also need to allow your mind time to accept things, so when you do feel something you can say to yourself, " hey i know what this is and i can handle it"

we are all here buddy to help each other, to listen, give advice rom what we have learn't ourselves and from time to time to vent to. also we are here becasue we care about each other, its like one big family and the people on here are amzing and have so much love and strength, and where all born with the caring gene
:D.

its important to know that you have somewhere to turn to, as doc's and counselors dont always understand what we go through, but through here you will find that there are people who will understand you and say " omg and i thought i was the only one who felt this way" which from my own experince is a great relief when i hear that.

if you ever need to talk , PM me anytime , or if you like my msn is on my profile, just add me to yours, im on most days and always ready to lend a helping hand or in our case a friendly ear

GOd Bless Mal

dont give up, your on the first step to a brighter future.

steve

Mal
14-12-06, 16:32
Thanks for the welcome. I feel that what has been said already will help ~ not least because I now know I am not fighting this on my own. Others have been there and won.
Guess I had better start using the other parts of the board now.
Cheers

nomorepanic
18-12-06, 17:03
Hi Mal

Welcome aboard and lovely to see you here. Hope we can be of some help.

You will meet some lovely kind people on here.

Nicola

People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel

Dreamer029
21-12-06, 15:23
hi Mal,

welcome! this site is a great place for support...its helped me so much. i noticed you were talking about lorazepam, i am on that. i take .5 mg when needed. i dont know about the UK but in the US its called Ativan and it IS available by prescription.

hope that helps :-)

Lauren

Piglet
21-12-06, 15:51
A very big welcome to the site.

I am so sorry to hear of all you have been through and it's totally understandable you feel as you do.

Love Piglet :)

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

keepemlaughing
21-12-06, 15:56
Hello Mal,
I used to always tell my grandkids, "now everyone just calm down and take a breath". this usually evoked laughter for some reason. Now I am suggesting,......no I am ORDERING you to do the same. You are driving yourself crazy with worry. Are you a spiritual person? I can't speak for others, but I have found that if I let it go and let God do all the work, it sure takes the pressure off me. Just a thought mate!
Take care!
[8D]

Sheryl

Why stay in prison when the door is wide open?