rb1978
12-12-06, 16:01
I’ve been doing so well this last couple of weeks – really trying hard to relax and accept that my symptoms are more than likely anxiety related. This forum’s helped loads.
Then, these last two days have been rotten. I’ve been OK at work but once I got home (time on my hands etc)…back to worrying myself ragged. I saw the doctor about three weeks ago, for a review of how the anti-d’s are going, and because a lot of my trouble is sinus and ear related she checked out my nose and said I’d got some little polyps in there. Those were the exact words “some little polyps in there”. Not “I’ll refer you to ENT” or “there’s an abnormality” or “christ those are the biggest polyps I’ve seen in my life let’s get a biopsy sorted out”.
I was fine for a couple of weeks, better than usual actually, then out of the blue drifted onto Google and within a matter of minutes had convinced myself it’s nasal cancer and my doctor can’t tell the difference between a polyp and a tumour before her own eyes.
Why oh why. Last night I was almost back to how I was before – caught myself lying in bed crying at about 9pm because I’d just had enough. Going over and over in my mind how terrible this disease is going to be and I’ll be off work and…all the rest of it.
I’m also right on the verge of putting my house on the market. It’s been terrifying me for so long, the thought of moving and can I cope but I badly, really badly, want to move. I almost feel like my mind has just waited until this point and then unleashed another onslaught. Argh! So everyone : a warning, keep away from the dreaded Google. It should come with a health warning.
Sorry for rambling…I just feel better to get it all out.
Then, these last two days have been rotten. I’ve been OK at work but once I got home (time on my hands etc)…back to worrying myself ragged. I saw the doctor about three weeks ago, for a review of how the anti-d’s are going, and because a lot of my trouble is sinus and ear related she checked out my nose and said I’d got some little polyps in there. Those were the exact words “some little polyps in there”. Not “I’ll refer you to ENT” or “there’s an abnormality” or “christ those are the biggest polyps I’ve seen in my life let’s get a biopsy sorted out”.
I was fine for a couple of weeks, better than usual actually, then out of the blue drifted onto Google and within a matter of minutes had convinced myself it’s nasal cancer and my doctor can’t tell the difference between a polyp and a tumour before her own eyes.
Why oh why. Last night I was almost back to how I was before – caught myself lying in bed crying at about 9pm because I’d just had enough. Going over and over in my mind how terrible this disease is going to be and I’ll be off work and…all the rest of it.
I’m also right on the verge of putting my house on the market. It’s been terrifying me for so long, the thought of moving and can I cope but I badly, really badly, want to move. I almost feel like my mind has just waited until this point and then unleashed another onslaught. Argh! So everyone : a warning, keep away from the dreaded Google. It should come with a health warning.
Sorry for rambling…I just feel better to get it all out.