HotTea
05-06-14, 18:45
I have suffered with anxiety for many years, although I didn't know what it was.
I had a panic attack at 16, which was brought on by thinking of dying.
Then this year at the beggining of March I started feeling very anxious, I had a pulled muscle in my back, which I d convinced myself was lung cancer and I was so scared of going to the doctors I freaked out big time and had a massive panic attack.
After that I was so ill, I had a virus at the same time as thing lung thing and I didn't eat or drink for 10 days, just very small sips of water.
My body is used to having a lot of sugar and caffine, I drink so much coke a day, it just went into shut down. I lost 10 and I constantly worried about having more panic attacks. Which obviously led to more painc attacks, I became withdrawn, staying in my house all day, my kids 5&3 were being cared for by my mum a lot, she lives next door and my OH.
I was depressed, not with life, because I couldn't see a way out of this anxiety hell I was in.
In reality I have NOTHING to be anxious about. During all this the pain in my back completely disappeared, but I didn't notice.
I was spending all day every day on Anxiety website, searching for a cure. A hope, anything. I felt guilty that my children had a good carefree mummy that had turned into someone else over night, and I would never be the same again. That was the worst part.
I went to the doctors, I had a panic attack in the waiting room, they rushed me in, he prescribed me Citralopram. (sorry might be solely wrong)
I took one and it knocked me for 6, I was so poorly I couldn't look after my kids, I was sickness headache, spaced out, and I didn't sleep for two nights. Irang the doctors and told him I would do it by myself and I wasn't taking a mother one of those pills.
I continued to improve, I made myself go out. I got these crazy crazy headaches when I did. But I battled through, I didn't have a panic attack for a month or so. I was very close a couple of times though.
I got into a pattern of asking myself 100 times a day, 'are you anxious?' Which of course made me anxious.:doh:
I knew I had to break the cycle. So I did. I threw myself into doing stuff with the kids. When I had a spare 5 mins I would catch myself asking weather I was anxious, and I was but I accepted it and just carried on.
Pre menstral was the worst time, I had a panic attack last month while washing up because I panicked myself into thinking I should get my bloods done. The two months I had of this, I barely had a period, they were so light and lasted 2 days.
All through may iv felt ok, until I googled something and freaked myself out, I ended up in a&e, where I was forced to have my bloods done, and 2 ECGS and a very swift talking to by a doctor.
I felt on top of the world since that appt. I had a period not long after, and it was a real one (sorry TMI) but I felt my body was getting back to normal. I haven't been asking myself if I'm anxious anymore, as I accept the fact that when I am, I am fine, and they're just thoughts in my head.
I have had chest pain today and instead of panicking I just let it pass, I feel like I have a better attitude to illness now, I know there's nothing wrong with me.
I am now down for CBT to help me with my health anxiety, as that's what starts this off. But for now I'm doing great, I feel like I am back to the mummy I was, I feel like I am not cursed with this forever. I can be ok, and sometimes yes I do feel anxious, but the worst thing that will happen when I have anxiety is a panic attack, and I can deal with those now too.
I know it's not all that positive, but I loved reading things like this when I was bad.
I had a panic attack at 16, which was brought on by thinking of dying.
Then this year at the beggining of March I started feeling very anxious, I had a pulled muscle in my back, which I d convinced myself was lung cancer and I was so scared of going to the doctors I freaked out big time and had a massive panic attack.
After that I was so ill, I had a virus at the same time as thing lung thing and I didn't eat or drink for 10 days, just very small sips of water.
My body is used to having a lot of sugar and caffine, I drink so much coke a day, it just went into shut down. I lost 10 and I constantly worried about having more panic attacks. Which obviously led to more painc attacks, I became withdrawn, staying in my house all day, my kids 5&3 were being cared for by my mum a lot, she lives next door and my OH.
I was depressed, not with life, because I couldn't see a way out of this anxiety hell I was in.
In reality I have NOTHING to be anxious about. During all this the pain in my back completely disappeared, but I didn't notice.
I was spending all day every day on Anxiety website, searching for a cure. A hope, anything. I felt guilty that my children had a good carefree mummy that had turned into someone else over night, and I would never be the same again. That was the worst part.
I went to the doctors, I had a panic attack in the waiting room, they rushed me in, he prescribed me Citralopram. (sorry might be solely wrong)
I took one and it knocked me for 6, I was so poorly I couldn't look after my kids, I was sickness headache, spaced out, and I didn't sleep for two nights. Irang the doctors and told him I would do it by myself and I wasn't taking a mother one of those pills.
I continued to improve, I made myself go out. I got these crazy crazy headaches when I did. But I battled through, I didn't have a panic attack for a month or so. I was very close a couple of times though.
I got into a pattern of asking myself 100 times a day, 'are you anxious?' Which of course made me anxious.:doh:
I knew I had to break the cycle. So I did. I threw myself into doing stuff with the kids. When I had a spare 5 mins I would catch myself asking weather I was anxious, and I was but I accepted it and just carried on.
Pre menstral was the worst time, I had a panic attack last month while washing up because I panicked myself into thinking I should get my bloods done. The two months I had of this, I barely had a period, they were so light and lasted 2 days.
All through may iv felt ok, until I googled something and freaked myself out, I ended up in a&e, where I was forced to have my bloods done, and 2 ECGS and a very swift talking to by a doctor.
I felt on top of the world since that appt. I had a period not long after, and it was a real one (sorry TMI) but I felt my body was getting back to normal. I haven't been asking myself if I'm anxious anymore, as I accept the fact that when I am, I am fine, and they're just thoughts in my head.
I have had chest pain today and instead of panicking I just let it pass, I feel like I have a better attitude to illness now, I know there's nothing wrong with me.
I am now down for CBT to help me with my health anxiety, as that's what starts this off. But for now I'm doing great, I feel like I am back to the mummy I was, I feel like I am not cursed with this forever. I can be ok, and sometimes yes I do feel anxious, but the worst thing that will happen when I have anxiety is a panic attack, and I can deal with those now too.
I know it's not all that positive, but I loved reading things like this when I was bad.