It's back :(

[Oddfish]

Well it's been a while since I've been here. It was the start of last year I think when I was suffering from anxiety because of work stress. I didn't manage to get another job and it got so bad that before Christmas I was ready to quit, but then against all the odds we lost a big contract meaning we'd all be made redundant.

At first I was ecstatic. I'd been wishing for an opportunity to escape and here it was! The only draw back was that legal wrangling delayed the end by four months but on the upside, although stressful in one way, it changed my work considerably so that I was no longer stressed about the day to day grind.

I finally got out a week ago and for a few days I felt fantastic but then anxiety and depression kicked in and now I feel awful. I embarrassed myself this morning crying and telling family members. I've been here before over the years and I am ashamed to be doing this again. When I'm 'well' I can't understand how and why I act like this.

I feel so frustrated and stupid. This morning I got into a state over my car. It has something wrong with the fuel gauge. I had it at a garage yesterday and they couldn't find a fault which angered me. Now I'm too scared to drive it anywhere as I don't know how much petrol it has, and I think it has another fault too. I fear it conking out. I can't deal with cars when they don't work and mine had been totally reliable until the last month when tons of things have gone wrong with it.

I was telling my family about the car, the obvious thing is to get it looked at by another garage but I was too scared to ring and sort it out! I was shaking! I just don't want anything to do with my car any more. It is ridiculous. I feel so pathetic! So it is just sitting there and I'm stuck :wacko: ofcourse it isn't just the car. I'm panicking in general about finding another job and feeling lost :(

[rooby]

I am so sorry for you and can really relate to how you are feeling.

I have had similar experience to you and especially with regards to the car issues. I have had to have new brakes fitted and have had problems with the back wheel overheating and so I have had to have it looked at again and after that both back wheels are overheating. such a panic to even think about it imagining all sorts of accidents and terrible things!

My CBT counsellor says it is catastrophising, (cant spell) basically worrying yourself overmuch and imagining the absolute worst thing is going to happen rather than thinking realistically. When you are in a state of panic it is so hard to stop yourself doing this. Is there someone that is able to help you with making a decision or talking it through over your car? or your job?

I hope you soon feel a bit better

rooby