Wintear
11-06-14, 03:08
It's been three months since my Uncle passed away at the young and prime age of 58. He went peacefully in his sleep.
He was my best friend. Literally.
I'm at a loss, even now. I had no idea his passing would overwhelm me this much. It seems as time goes on, the deeper this ongoing, searing pain cuts.
I wanted to have a beer with him on my 21st Birthday and talk all night long, just the two of us. He was the life of the party. A man whom I looked up to and admired the most. He was always there for me and my family through thick and thin. Hell, when we were flat broke one time and had no food in to eat, he took me and my Mother food shopping. He didn't want to be paid back, either. He said so long as there was food in our stomachs for the day, that was payment enough. He was so selfless...stern, wise, respectful, and above all else, fun. So, so much fun to be around. You could talk to this guy about ANYTHING under the sun. He was the open-minded type.
I think about him every single day. Not a moment passes that his face doesn't pop into my head. I can't shake it simply because I don't want to. Who would ever want to forget such an honorable human being...?
What hurts the most is how and when I was informed of his departure form this life. I was walking back home from going to the store for my Mother. Something inside of me told me "you should get in contact with your uncles more often, you know." I agreed with this gut feeling and was all set to make plans when I walked through the door and heard the news. No sooner did I walk to the top of the stairs....and then, boom. There it was. News that shook my very being and made the very core of my spirit go numb. I was in total shock and disbelief...so I attempted to block it out time and time again up until I attended his memorial service. That's when I was struck bluntly with the harsh reality of things. It was an open-casket viewing. I did not know this until I turned the corner and seen his body first hand, with my own two eyes. It was a difficult service to get through. Quite possibly the most emotionally challenging hurtle that I had to muster up the entirety of my strength to clear.
Nothing's been the same ever since, you know? There's this "something's missing" feeling that, no matter what I try to fill it with, does not go away.
I don't know...maybe I'm asking for too much on here. But, this has caused me a great deal of suffering in every sense imaginable.
Similar stories..? Suggestions/advice? If anyone out there can relate...please, don't be a stranger. Any feedback whatsoever would be greatly appreciated...you have no idea.
I feel like I lost my very own Father, man...
(As me and my real "Father" do not get along at all and have never had a sturdy relationship...)
He was my best friend. Literally.
I'm at a loss, even now. I had no idea his passing would overwhelm me this much. It seems as time goes on, the deeper this ongoing, searing pain cuts.
I wanted to have a beer with him on my 21st Birthday and talk all night long, just the two of us. He was the life of the party. A man whom I looked up to and admired the most. He was always there for me and my family through thick and thin. Hell, when we were flat broke one time and had no food in to eat, he took me and my Mother food shopping. He didn't want to be paid back, either. He said so long as there was food in our stomachs for the day, that was payment enough. He was so selfless...stern, wise, respectful, and above all else, fun. So, so much fun to be around. You could talk to this guy about ANYTHING under the sun. He was the open-minded type.
I think about him every single day. Not a moment passes that his face doesn't pop into my head. I can't shake it simply because I don't want to. Who would ever want to forget such an honorable human being...?
What hurts the most is how and when I was informed of his departure form this life. I was walking back home from going to the store for my Mother. Something inside of me told me "you should get in contact with your uncles more often, you know." I agreed with this gut feeling and was all set to make plans when I walked through the door and heard the news. No sooner did I walk to the top of the stairs....and then, boom. There it was. News that shook my very being and made the very core of my spirit go numb. I was in total shock and disbelief...so I attempted to block it out time and time again up until I attended his memorial service. That's when I was struck bluntly with the harsh reality of things. It was an open-casket viewing. I did not know this until I turned the corner and seen his body first hand, with my own two eyes. It was a difficult service to get through. Quite possibly the most emotionally challenging hurtle that I had to muster up the entirety of my strength to clear.
Nothing's been the same ever since, you know? There's this "something's missing" feeling that, no matter what I try to fill it with, does not go away.
I don't know...maybe I'm asking for too much on here. But, this has caused me a great deal of suffering in every sense imaginable.
Similar stories..? Suggestions/advice? If anyone out there can relate...please, don't be a stranger. Any feedback whatsoever would be greatly appreciated...you have no idea.
I feel like I lost my very own Father, man...
(As me and my real "Father" do not get along at all and have never had a sturdy relationship...)