UKmamainUS
12-06-14, 22:32
I can't possibly be the only person who feels this way. I am so anxious all the time, it is exhausting. My husband works away from home a lot, so my attempts at CBT have been very unsuccessful since I can't get to the therapist very easily. I've tried doing online and book versions, but being alone with two kids for weeks at a time makes it difficult. My mother and siblings are in the UK, I live in the US. I do have friends here, but not many, since I just don't really enjoy getting out and meeting new people.
Every time my husband flies for work (usually twice a week) I'm scared he will be in a crash. I'm scared he will lose his job (he was laid off when my oldest was a baby and I was working then so it wasn't so bad, but now I am a stay at home mom, we can't afford for him to be laid off). I'm scared of getting sick and dying and leaving my kids, I'm scared of my husband dying and leaving us.
I'm scared when he is away, in case we are broken into or something happens I can't cope with.
I can't watch the news AT ALL. Everything makes me sick. I have no idea what is going on in the world and when I do hear something (for instance when I accompany my husband to DC for his work, I am usually exposed to the news) it is always awful and I end up having a major panic attack. Once when is as in DC I got so sick I locked myself and my kids in the hotel room for the majority of the trip. Every time I left the room I was so overwhelmed with fear that I couldn't think of anything except going back to the room. Obviously, I hate flying too, which means I can't get back to the UK as often as I would like either. I've been in the US ten years and am crazy homesick, all the time. My husband has tried to get work in the UK but it's not so easy as we had thought it would be.
Even eating here scares me. Everything is so polluted - hormones and antibiotics in the milk and meat, chemicals in the vegetables. I spend a fortune on organic food.
I never used to be this way. I achieved three degrees at three universities before securing myself a job in the States. I moved over here all on my own, knowing no one, and bringing no one with me. I was always so outgoing. Think that having children kind of broke me. I feel so overwhelmed at times I really do not function. I put on movies for the kids and just sit there feeling terrified.
Of course, it's not all misery, I still do normal things - hang out with the kids, clean the house, go to the park with our friends, but still, much of the time I just feel overwhelmed by everything. The doctor has given me lorazepam to help deal with this but in truth it barely takes the edge off.
Thanks for letting me say all this, I can't really rant about my feelings to my six year old, so this is really the only place I have.
Every time my husband flies for work (usually twice a week) I'm scared he will be in a crash. I'm scared he will lose his job (he was laid off when my oldest was a baby and I was working then so it wasn't so bad, but now I am a stay at home mom, we can't afford for him to be laid off). I'm scared of getting sick and dying and leaving my kids, I'm scared of my husband dying and leaving us.
I'm scared when he is away, in case we are broken into or something happens I can't cope with.
I can't watch the news AT ALL. Everything makes me sick. I have no idea what is going on in the world and when I do hear something (for instance when I accompany my husband to DC for his work, I am usually exposed to the news) it is always awful and I end up having a major panic attack. Once when is as in DC I got so sick I locked myself and my kids in the hotel room for the majority of the trip. Every time I left the room I was so overwhelmed with fear that I couldn't think of anything except going back to the room. Obviously, I hate flying too, which means I can't get back to the UK as often as I would like either. I've been in the US ten years and am crazy homesick, all the time. My husband has tried to get work in the UK but it's not so easy as we had thought it would be.
Even eating here scares me. Everything is so polluted - hormones and antibiotics in the milk and meat, chemicals in the vegetables. I spend a fortune on organic food.
I never used to be this way. I achieved three degrees at three universities before securing myself a job in the States. I moved over here all on my own, knowing no one, and bringing no one with me. I was always so outgoing. Think that having children kind of broke me. I feel so overwhelmed at times I really do not function. I put on movies for the kids and just sit there feeling terrified.
Of course, it's not all misery, I still do normal things - hang out with the kids, clean the house, go to the park with our friends, but still, much of the time I just feel overwhelmed by everything. The doctor has given me lorazepam to help deal with this but in truth it barely takes the edge off.
Thanks for letting me say all this, I can't really rant about my feelings to my six year old, so this is really the only place I have.