SammiJay
13-06-14, 10:28
Hi
Advanced warning. This will probably be an essay, but I am hoping this will help me to actually put something down in words!
I have been lurking for a few weeks and finally took the plunge and signed up to this amazing site. I would like to thank so many of you for helping me. It is such a relief to see so many like minded people and the advice on here has helped me so much.
A little bit about myself..... I have been suffering with anxiety and depression since I was about 10 years old. I then developed emetophobia, which has been quite debilitating over the years. Currently I am dealing with health anxiety, social phobia and of course emetophobia, which is probably the reason for the latter.
Things came to a head when I was 20 years old and since then I have been on and off antidepressants and tried different therapies. I can have a few years of respite, where I feel normal and then gradually I will start to slide. I am now 35.
When I am feeling good I am a very positive, upbeat, person. I am a laid back and can just get on with it. That's the real me. I don't want to be this scared, frightened, wreck who puts on my family and is scared to go out and enjoy life! I am tired of the panic attacks and feeling anxious all of the time.
Over the years I have been on escitalopram, cipralex, and citalopram. Last time I had citalopram I had a few days of feeling fuzzy, but that was it. It was for just depression. No anxiety, which was a first. I started back on citalopram 10mg 5 weeks ago. The side effects were horrendous, but I persevered and last week I started to feel a little bit more like myself. I managed to go out and enjoy myself for the first time in months!
Unfortunately I had a blip on Tuesday, which set me back a bit. I know it is only week 5 and I need to give them more time. I am waiting to see if I need to go up on my dosage as the last two times on citalopram I didn't need to go above 10mg. The other times I was on 40mg, dropping to 20mg.
I have not had the greatest time of things. Pretty crap childhood, due to feckless parents and their terrible life choices and the past 5 years have been pretty horrendous with sudden losses and pretty traumatic stuff to deal with. Part of my problem has been getting on with it, being there for others and trying to keep everybody else upbeat and positive. I have realised that I have rarely taken the time to actually process anything for myself.
I have also had many positives. I married the best man in the world and despite being severly emetophobic, I had my amazing little girl 5 years ago. My Mum and sister are my rocks and I have a great group of friends who support me and are very understanding.
So here I am. I am sorry if I have bored you all to tears. I promise that my future posts will not be as lengthy. :D
Advanced warning. This will probably be an essay, but I am hoping this will help me to actually put something down in words!
I have been lurking for a few weeks and finally took the plunge and signed up to this amazing site. I would like to thank so many of you for helping me. It is such a relief to see so many like minded people and the advice on here has helped me so much.
A little bit about myself..... I have been suffering with anxiety and depression since I was about 10 years old. I then developed emetophobia, which has been quite debilitating over the years. Currently I am dealing with health anxiety, social phobia and of course emetophobia, which is probably the reason for the latter.
Things came to a head when I was 20 years old and since then I have been on and off antidepressants and tried different therapies. I can have a few years of respite, where I feel normal and then gradually I will start to slide. I am now 35.
When I am feeling good I am a very positive, upbeat, person. I am a laid back and can just get on with it. That's the real me. I don't want to be this scared, frightened, wreck who puts on my family and is scared to go out and enjoy life! I am tired of the panic attacks and feeling anxious all of the time.
Over the years I have been on escitalopram, cipralex, and citalopram. Last time I had citalopram I had a few days of feeling fuzzy, but that was it. It was for just depression. No anxiety, which was a first. I started back on citalopram 10mg 5 weeks ago. The side effects were horrendous, but I persevered and last week I started to feel a little bit more like myself. I managed to go out and enjoy myself for the first time in months!
Unfortunately I had a blip on Tuesday, which set me back a bit. I know it is only week 5 and I need to give them more time. I am waiting to see if I need to go up on my dosage as the last two times on citalopram I didn't need to go above 10mg. The other times I was on 40mg, dropping to 20mg.
I have not had the greatest time of things. Pretty crap childhood, due to feckless parents and their terrible life choices and the past 5 years have been pretty horrendous with sudden losses and pretty traumatic stuff to deal with. Part of my problem has been getting on with it, being there for others and trying to keep everybody else upbeat and positive. I have realised that I have rarely taken the time to actually process anything for myself.
I have also had many positives. I married the best man in the world and despite being severly emetophobic, I had my amazing little girl 5 years ago. My Mum and sister are my rocks and I have a great group of friends who support me and are very understanding.
So here I am. I am sorry if I have bored you all to tears. I promise that my future posts will not be as lengthy. :D