Terrified about swollen lymph nodes

[Meglen]

Hello! New member here
I stumbled across this website a year ago and finally decided to join!
I have been suffering from health anxiety and every other form of anxiety for the past 5 years. My biggest struggle is that I was always a healthy person, no fears and the life of the party. All of that changed 5 years ago when I had my first "episode". Not knowing what a panic attack was, I thought something serious was wrong. Off to the hospital I went, and they told me I was low on vitamin K. A week later, another episode..back to the hospital and doctor said I was suffering from migraines. These diagnoses just didn't seem right so I followed up with a neurologist. After many tests (mri, cat,blood work, nerve tests) I was then told I had anxiety and they put me on lexapro. I remained on lexapro for about 2 years, gained 30+ pounds and decided I was well enough and fat enough to come off. I have been off of lexapro for 2 years now, for the most part I was doing well. Occasionally I take a xanax to get me through a panic attack. All of this ended about a month ago.
I got a rash on the upper portion of my chest, went to the dermatologist and they said it was probably from my necklace. Stopped wearing it, changed my soap, change laundry soap and I use 50 SPF sunscreen. Rash is still there, and worse. I found a lump on the left side of my neck close to my collar bone. I also started to have a burning throat. I went to the doctor, he said I had an infection and prescribed an antibiotic, Avelox. I read the side effects and realized that I couldn't deal with the horrible effects of this med, so I decided to visit an ENT. The ENT said the complete opposite. He said I didn't have an infection, but I had GERD. He said the lump on my neck was just a swollen lymph node, not concerning and to take Prilosec. Here I am 4 weeks later, throat is still burning, rash is horrible, bump is still there (same size) and I have discovered a new bump at the base of my skull on right side. Of course, in my mind I have cancer and the doctors are missing something!! I don't know who to trust, what doctor to go back to and what to do. This is taking over my life, I am driving my husband crazy. Part of me knows that I need help yet the other part wants to keep going to doctors to get a diagnosis. I did start seeing a therapist last week, but in my mind how is therapy going to help my physical health problems? Can anxiety cause lymph node swelling, burning throat and a rash???
Oh, did I mention I am a smoker?? Horrible I know, tried to quit but with my anxiety at its worst right now I didn't make it longer than 1 day:(

[UKmamainUS]

I am feeling with lymph node issues. Two doctors a surgeon and my chiropractor have told me it's probably nothing. Anxious me doesn't really believe them. I've not had any infections that I know of in ages. I'm having a needle biopsy in just over a week even though the doctors don't think I need it. I find that since they charge so much and get so much money per procedure you can pretty much ask for any procedure you want within reason and they'll give it to you.

I do now have a pain in my neck ear and head that came on a few weeks after the enlarged node.

Sorry I'm no help but I think loads of us on here have the same fear.

[Meglen]

UkmamainUs.. So glad you posted back! I think it's just good to know that I am now he only one.. So crazy that anxiety can make us so vulnerable! Did you just come out and ask for the needle biopsy? I want to ask, but I don't want my Dr to think I am not trusting his judgement...then again, it's my body so why not ask!? Thanks for your reply and keep me posted on your results;)

[Fishmanpa]

First off, you have to have a node worth biopsying. Anything in the 1cm range and palatable is normal. 1+cm hard and immobile would warrant further investigation and that's only if a qualified ENT says so and other tests show it to be needed (CT/PET scans). Otherwise, it's most likely a waste time and money.

FYI: I been there and have the receipt and scars to prove it. What you're looking at are biopsies and actual cancerous nodes removed from my neck Notice the size. Not a grain of rice or even a pea or 1cm. These were 5+cm cancerous nodes removed from my neck. Before removal, it looked like I had the mumps on the left side of my neck. So when you're worried about nodes, take a look at the real deal and you won't be worried anymore.

http://csn.cancer.org/sites/default/files/u196865/TumorsLymph.JPG

Positive thoughts

[UKmamainUS]

I think the problem for us is that we know your nodes didn't start at 5cm. They might have been cancerous even at rice or pea sized. At least that's what my anxiety ridden brain tells me.

[Fishmanpa]

I think the problem for us is that we know your nodes didn't start at 5cm. They might have been cancerous even at rice or pea sized. At least that's what my anxiety ridden brain tells me.

They grew FAST! ... in a matter of months they went from 1+cm, hard and fixed to 3+cm at diagnosis and spread to the nodes behind the ear. I could feel pressure on the ear canal and some discomfort as a result of them pressing on my Eustachian tube. They showed on CT scans at subsequent PETs with dye. It was obvious there was something up. These were taken out 6 months after first noticing them. Many here have had perceived issues for several months if not years. Cancer is an "uncontrolled growth of cells". If anyone here has it in their head and neck area it would be obvious by now. A doctor wouldn't dismiss it. Typically, a course of antibiotics to rule out infection, then a scan. They would "insist" on further testing, not just offer it for reassurance as it's $$$ to get these tests.

Positive thoughts

[Meglen]

Thank you Fishman for sharing your real experience. Like others have said, it's the "anxiety brain" that takes over and has a hard time with the separating fact from fiction. As much as all of us do not want to experience what you went through, we feel as though we have something that will grow to that size and want to catch to before it does. It may not make sense to others that do not have health anxiety or fear of the worst case scenario. I hope that you are well since the removal and again thank you for sharing!

[Fishmanpa]

Meglan,

The fact that you recognize "anxiety brain" puts you ahead of the curve in knowing deep down it's nothing sinister. Also, the fact you're seeking help is yet another thing that puts you on the right path to healing.

I've said this here many times.... What I had could potentially bury you 6 feet under. What many here suffer from has the same ability to do so above ground as living in constant fear is not living.

Also, I've seen those that suffer from extreme anxiety/HA that come to grips with their issues when faced with the reality of an illness or event in their lives. Their HA takes a back seat and often it's the turning point in healing.

I don't wish what I went through on anyone. I can say from experience that many of the fears I've seen here concerning nodes are unfounded. I've yet to see someone get the cancer they fear, drop dead from a heart attack or be diagnosed with MS or ALS.

Positive thoughts

[chung]

First off, you have to have a node worth biopsying. Anything in the 1cm range and palatable is normal. 1+cm hard and immobile would warrant further investigation and that's only if a qualified ENT says so and other tests show it to be needed (CT/PET scans). Otherwise, it's most likely a waste time and money.


Its not exactly a waste of time or money. The problem is that certain cancers like low grade lymphoma can come and go for many years before it becomes obvious. That is a long time of uncertainty that nobody would want to go through. They can be hard to diagnose as there might be no symptoms at all at first. For someone with anxiety, its the worst thing you can have. Yours was an aggressive cancer by the sounds of it. They are actually easier to cure.