really..... again!!!!

[bingjam]

ok ok.....

melonoma again...

same mole, same worry, ive avoided looking at it to try and stop my mind worrying about it, but I saw it by accident, how stupid does that sound, im not even sure its changed, its just I saw it....

sooo now my mimd is tricking me into thinking something is wrong with it AGAIN.

but seriously how many times do I have to worry about this and thinking ohhh its fine,...

all from seeing it without realising..

[Neon]

I get this. I'll feel something or see something and get that awful hollow, sick to your stomach panic. It's the worse and it seems to change every day. I can see the same thing a week later and not worry at all. I'm getting better though. I think I'm just so bored of the anxiety it's starting to lose it's potency. It's just 'that horrid feeling again'. It's years later since I first started getting it and I'm still here, alive and well, so that seems to be all it is- a useless over reaction that I am free to ignore if I choose and not something horrid lurking. I'm starting to wonder if my survival instinct is not the panic/anxiety but that much quieter little voice that whispers 'actually... I know this is scary and stuff but can we just do something else today'. It's tiring :/