Andy bongo
16-06-14, 01:03
To give you the back ground, so you know how bad things got but I have come through it. I'm not out of the woods but each morning feels great waking up without fear ......
5 months ago my life took a nun expected twist, my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and passed away 6 weeks later when I was only 27, on the day of her funeral my first child was born, during this time I had been in an out of hospital with my ore existing stomach condition. On my first day back at work I collapsed and was then in hospital for 10 weeks requiring two lots of surgery.......
So you have the back ground, I had my first panic attack whilst on holiday the day after mums diagnosis and quite honestly as someone who's had plenty of ill health iv never been so, scared in all my life. In a foreign country, a random man came up and grabbed my hand and shook it and I thought I felt a pin prick, I went in to absolute panic but I didn't believe it was panic I thought I'd been injected with something, my heart felt like it was going to explode, I couldn't breath, I thought I was suffocating, frankly iv never been so scared.
What followed was two months of this recurring on daily and weekly basis' and I become convinced I was terminally ill, these symptoms couldn't be anything other serious. I after the first attack researched it and found my symptoms matched PA (panic attacks) so I went to the doctors who agreed but I couldn't accept this, I was too scared, the feelings were too intense there's no way this could be a mental thing.
Anyway after two months of every test possible I was all clear other than the illness I mentioned above, I still couldn't accept it. The doctors decided I should try an anti depressant and despite my reluctance after a week I agreed, I had an allergic reaction to he medication looking back now it could be that I really didn't want the tablet but the reactions were very real and I ended up in hospital. Knowing friends that have had PA's they swore by the anti depressants but I wanted to do this naturally so I decided I was going to through myself into this.
I found good and bad things along the way and actually I found that the forums made me look for problems not actually supportive I felt it meant you could back in each other's misery with no way out the hole. This is the first time iv been in a forum in months, so I thought I'd share what I found great in case it helps just one person as my attacks were so severe that three times I was taken to hospital that they believed I had a stroke.
I was off work sick through my illness so this did give me time to throw myself at it which helped but 10 of this I was in hospital missing out on my child's first weeks.
So .....
The first thing is to loose the fear of the fear which is what a panic attack is, once you have had one the fear of it happening again is what takes over, then we focus on the symptoms which when we feel them we fear, the fear builds into anxiety, anxiety builds then we have a panic attack, once you had the panic attack we are so scared we dread any slight symptom then once we feel the symptom we begin the cycle again.
You have to get to a point where you genuinely think .... Sod it what ever happens, happens I worrying about it won't stop it. I am keen to day only get his mind set once you have been tested by a doctor so you know you are medically fit but if you are like me you will ignore the results anyway to begin with.
Seriously though once you know you have had the tests to clear what ever your symptoms are you have to become all most recklessly care free because the fear is what keeps this going. Think about it, if you weren't scared when these symptoms kicked in what would happen? Nothing? Exactly. Have you had the symptom before? Yes, well you got through it that time so why wouldn't you this time?
Prepare a script for all your symptoms, think when you are having an attack of each symptom then for each symptom write a simple sentence that if you could speak to yourself when you were having a panic attack you would say. Repeat this everyday keep writing it because eventually it will sink in, once it does the fear starts to subside.
Remember before readying below this takes weeks and months this is not and there is no magic pill or key to turn this off, if that's what you are looking for you will never find it.
1) Stop googling, it makes this worse and you start noticing symptoms you never had before. But only stop once you truly understand what symptoms are panic that you have and write these down - il come back to this
2) no suggestion is stupid, try anything
3) Go to the doctors explain your symptoms, they will tell you it's PA but de,and the tests, this gives you peace of mind even if it's temporary it gives your racing mind a rest and as you start to see more clearly you will refer to these every time you feel a symptom as this is the proof it's panic not illness
4) Start a diary; Write in this everyday, what have you done, how do you feel, then importantly write the two tasks that make you scared, why they scare you, the feelings you get and then score the severity of those feelings out of ten
Task:
Feelings:
Why:
Severity:
As the weeks and months pass by you will be surprised by how the score improves and it gives you the forum to see improvements that you would otherwise ignore because that's what we do, ignore the positives and focus on the negatives. You have to learn to celebrate the wins.
5 ) Accept you will never feel 100%. no one in the world is ache free, trouble free, stress free, you have To accept that slight feelings are just that, feelings. It's us building them up that escalates these feelings. If you have adrenaline pumping in your body symptoms are going to come - research fight or flight response this makes perfect sense
6) Try alternative therapy: Rescue remedy was a god send, it's a little spray you can buy for most pharmacys. It could well be a placebo but again do what's right for you. I found remedy really useful, I do it once a week but this can be expensive. Yoga is free and one of the most useful things I have found, it's instantly relaxing and relaxation is key, think of PAs as water in a bucket, each time you stress the bucket fills up, once the bucket is full and spills over you have a PA where's if you give yourself relaxation time you are emptying the bucket thus preventing the PA
7) Write in your diary ten simple things that make you genuinely happy, not holidays, cars, etc but simple things that bring real pleasure, walking the dog, music, etc.... Commit to doing at least two of these EVERY DAY
8) Go online YouTube etc and find a meditation session you are comfortable with and do this daily before bed, you need to,learn to relax, to clear your mind, all of us share the common problem that we over think, we are hyper sensitive and have a tendency to build small problems into big things which starts the panic or anxiety cycle. I can't tell you how important this step is
9) Exercise, each time you have a PA or anxiety you build tension, that burning feeling and or when your chest feels like it could explode. Exercise releases endorphins that make you feel great! It's the best remedy
10) Cut out caffeine and aspartame, both of these cause your heart to race, pump you full of energy, a similar feeling to adrenaline, which gives you your symptoms and bang the cycle starts again. Sounds extreme but try it, cut this out of two weeks and see the difference
11) When you see your doc as about vitamins, I take magnesium, b vitamins, etc but take advice, they really do help
12) Diet, cut out unnecessary fats and sugars try it for two weeks again and if it makes no difference go back to your old diet
13) Cognitive behavioural therapy, it's a huge help if you can get access or afford if you can't get it through NHS it teaches you tricks and behavioural techniques. I can't speak highly enough of it. That said there are some amazing websites such as mood gym, centre for clinical interventions website has a 9'week self help programme on it. But as stated don't over do this, only read the useful websites or articles, do NOT read the articles where people talk about how bad it is or how the can't cope only read what enhances your knowledge of the subject not what increases your fear
14) Tell people you trust that you are having panic attacks, this will be a huge weight off your shoulders, the support you will get will maze you,it's one less thing to worry about as by now you will have become introverted and scared of things that months ago would have seemed crazy to be scared of to the point where just your room feels safe and no where else
Finally give it time, if you have set back just start counting the days since your last panic attack, and celebrate each time you pass your last record, celebrate each day. If you have a set back just start the count again and focus on beating the last count, again you can measure your progress.
Try anything that makes you feel good, the biggest thing I learned was I'd just forgotten myself, not taking time for myself putting everyone first which while admirable and should be celebrated you need to take time for you for the short term at least, if you can't get yourself right aphid you going to help anyone else. You have to put you first while you get yourself straight.
Hope this helps,
Stay strong, I'm not saying all my symptoms have gone but in 6 months iv gone for being scared to leave my room to writing this post .......
---------- Post added 16-06-14 at 00:03 ---------- Previous post was 15-06-14 at 23:58 ----------
Apologies for the spelling mistakes I wrote this whilst trying to watch my little one!
5 months ago my life took a nun expected twist, my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and passed away 6 weeks later when I was only 27, on the day of her funeral my first child was born, during this time I had been in an out of hospital with my ore existing stomach condition. On my first day back at work I collapsed and was then in hospital for 10 weeks requiring two lots of surgery.......
So you have the back ground, I had my first panic attack whilst on holiday the day after mums diagnosis and quite honestly as someone who's had plenty of ill health iv never been so, scared in all my life. In a foreign country, a random man came up and grabbed my hand and shook it and I thought I felt a pin prick, I went in to absolute panic but I didn't believe it was panic I thought I'd been injected with something, my heart felt like it was going to explode, I couldn't breath, I thought I was suffocating, frankly iv never been so scared.
What followed was two months of this recurring on daily and weekly basis' and I become convinced I was terminally ill, these symptoms couldn't be anything other serious. I after the first attack researched it and found my symptoms matched PA (panic attacks) so I went to the doctors who agreed but I couldn't accept this, I was too scared, the feelings were too intense there's no way this could be a mental thing.
Anyway after two months of every test possible I was all clear other than the illness I mentioned above, I still couldn't accept it. The doctors decided I should try an anti depressant and despite my reluctance after a week I agreed, I had an allergic reaction to he medication looking back now it could be that I really didn't want the tablet but the reactions were very real and I ended up in hospital. Knowing friends that have had PA's they swore by the anti depressants but I wanted to do this naturally so I decided I was going to through myself into this.
I found good and bad things along the way and actually I found that the forums made me look for problems not actually supportive I felt it meant you could back in each other's misery with no way out the hole. This is the first time iv been in a forum in months, so I thought I'd share what I found great in case it helps just one person as my attacks were so severe that three times I was taken to hospital that they believed I had a stroke.
I was off work sick through my illness so this did give me time to throw myself at it which helped but 10 of this I was in hospital missing out on my child's first weeks.
So .....
The first thing is to loose the fear of the fear which is what a panic attack is, once you have had one the fear of it happening again is what takes over, then we focus on the symptoms which when we feel them we fear, the fear builds into anxiety, anxiety builds then we have a panic attack, once you had the panic attack we are so scared we dread any slight symptom then once we feel the symptom we begin the cycle again.
You have to get to a point where you genuinely think .... Sod it what ever happens, happens I worrying about it won't stop it. I am keen to day only get his mind set once you have been tested by a doctor so you know you are medically fit but if you are like me you will ignore the results anyway to begin with.
Seriously though once you know you have had the tests to clear what ever your symptoms are you have to become all most recklessly care free because the fear is what keeps this going. Think about it, if you weren't scared when these symptoms kicked in what would happen? Nothing? Exactly. Have you had the symptom before? Yes, well you got through it that time so why wouldn't you this time?
Prepare a script for all your symptoms, think when you are having an attack of each symptom then for each symptom write a simple sentence that if you could speak to yourself when you were having a panic attack you would say. Repeat this everyday keep writing it because eventually it will sink in, once it does the fear starts to subside.
Remember before readying below this takes weeks and months this is not and there is no magic pill or key to turn this off, if that's what you are looking for you will never find it.
1) Stop googling, it makes this worse and you start noticing symptoms you never had before. But only stop once you truly understand what symptoms are panic that you have and write these down - il come back to this
2) no suggestion is stupid, try anything
3) Go to the doctors explain your symptoms, they will tell you it's PA but de,and the tests, this gives you peace of mind even if it's temporary it gives your racing mind a rest and as you start to see more clearly you will refer to these every time you feel a symptom as this is the proof it's panic not illness
4) Start a diary; Write in this everyday, what have you done, how do you feel, then importantly write the two tasks that make you scared, why they scare you, the feelings you get and then score the severity of those feelings out of ten
Task:
Feelings:
Why:
Severity:
As the weeks and months pass by you will be surprised by how the score improves and it gives you the forum to see improvements that you would otherwise ignore because that's what we do, ignore the positives and focus on the negatives. You have to learn to celebrate the wins.
5 ) Accept you will never feel 100%. no one in the world is ache free, trouble free, stress free, you have To accept that slight feelings are just that, feelings. It's us building them up that escalates these feelings. If you have adrenaline pumping in your body symptoms are going to come - research fight or flight response this makes perfect sense
6) Try alternative therapy: Rescue remedy was a god send, it's a little spray you can buy for most pharmacys. It could well be a placebo but again do what's right for you. I found remedy really useful, I do it once a week but this can be expensive. Yoga is free and one of the most useful things I have found, it's instantly relaxing and relaxation is key, think of PAs as water in a bucket, each time you stress the bucket fills up, once the bucket is full and spills over you have a PA where's if you give yourself relaxation time you are emptying the bucket thus preventing the PA
7) Write in your diary ten simple things that make you genuinely happy, not holidays, cars, etc but simple things that bring real pleasure, walking the dog, music, etc.... Commit to doing at least two of these EVERY DAY
8) Go online YouTube etc and find a meditation session you are comfortable with and do this daily before bed, you need to,learn to relax, to clear your mind, all of us share the common problem that we over think, we are hyper sensitive and have a tendency to build small problems into big things which starts the panic or anxiety cycle. I can't tell you how important this step is
9) Exercise, each time you have a PA or anxiety you build tension, that burning feeling and or when your chest feels like it could explode. Exercise releases endorphins that make you feel great! It's the best remedy
10) Cut out caffeine and aspartame, both of these cause your heart to race, pump you full of energy, a similar feeling to adrenaline, which gives you your symptoms and bang the cycle starts again. Sounds extreme but try it, cut this out of two weeks and see the difference
11) When you see your doc as about vitamins, I take magnesium, b vitamins, etc but take advice, they really do help
12) Diet, cut out unnecessary fats and sugars try it for two weeks again and if it makes no difference go back to your old diet
13) Cognitive behavioural therapy, it's a huge help if you can get access or afford if you can't get it through NHS it teaches you tricks and behavioural techniques. I can't speak highly enough of it. That said there are some amazing websites such as mood gym, centre for clinical interventions website has a 9'week self help programme on it. But as stated don't over do this, only read the useful websites or articles, do NOT read the articles where people talk about how bad it is or how the can't cope only read what enhances your knowledge of the subject not what increases your fear
14) Tell people you trust that you are having panic attacks, this will be a huge weight off your shoulders, the support you will get will maze you,it's one less thing to worry about as by now you will have become introverted and scared of things that months ago would have seemed crazy to be scared of to the point where just your room feels safe and no where else
Finally give it time, if you have set back just start counting the days since your last panic attack, and celebrate each time you pass your last record, celebrate each day. If you have a set back just start the count again and focus on beating the last count, again you can measure your progress.
Try anything that makes you feel good, the biggest thing I learned was I'd just forgotten myself, not taking time for myself putting everyone first which while admirable and should be celebrated you need to take time for you for the short term at least, if you can't get yourself right aphid you going to help anyone else. You have to put you first while you get yourself straight.
Hope this helps,
Stay strong, I'm not saying all my symptoms have gone but in 6 months iv gone for being scared to leave my room to writing this post .......
---------- Post added 16-06-14 at 00:03 ---------- Previous post was 15-06-14 at 23:58 ----------
Apologies for the spelling mistakes I wrote this whilst trying to watch my little one!