Kleenex
16-06-14, 20:04
I've had health anxiety my whole life, although it tends to come in spurts where I will obsess normally around the time of an actual illness. Recently I've become obsessive to the max because I've had chronic health issues since January. I went to my doctor back in October complaining of back pain. I was pregnant at the time so she told me it was sciatica. I accepted this and never gave it another thought. Then in January I became increasingly worse. My back hurt so badly so I called her up and told her about it again. I'm very stoic with pain in general and healthcare professionals have already labeled me as a "frequent flyer" so she said it has to be sciatica because if it were my kidney (like I was thinking) that I would be doubled over in pain. I told her I was in a lot of pain but thought "she's the doctor" and went home. That night I was in extreme pain to the point where I could not sleep and had a fever of 104. so I went to the er they said I had a UTI, they were able to break my fever and I went home. Then a few days later I hadn't urinated in a long time so I went back to labor and delivery. They didn't do any tests but kept me overnight for observation thinking it was from dehydration. I went home waited a few days then I couldn't take it I went in and once again complained to the nurses who were getting sick of my presence, some would say "weren't you just here" you guys know the normal snarky comments. I once again told my story and she told me to wait for my doctor. 6 hours go by, I was withering in pain and begged for pain meds. The nurse refused me told me to wait for the doc. Long story short after several hours they finally ordered an ultrasound and I had severe hydronophrosis and my kidney was about to burst. I had to have a nophrostomy bad put in and was kept in the hospital for about 2 weeks. On my last day there I started to go in the opposite direction and told them I thought I was having contractions early in the am. They told me I wasn't and that I was fine. I kept telling several nurses that I was having contractions and even my doctor. She told me she was going to admit me for another night because of the pain but didn't think I was having contractions. Finally later that night they hooked me up for a routine NST scan and I was in full blown labor and they couldn't stop it. I had to have an emergency c-section and my daughter was born 5 weeks early. After that my health anxiety escalated. I had no faith in my doctors because they kept thinking was a just making it up and I kept having actual problems, this also caused me to lose faith in myself because I do tend to over worry about everything so what was real vs anxiety. I had several problems with the nophrostomy tube and many infections, countless ER trips and admissions. They ER workers hated me coming in and I always seemed to annoy them. I finally had my surgery for my kidney on April 21,2014.
I was doing fine until this past friday I had extreme pain in my lower stomach, I had been having problems with it since after the surgery but went to my doctor not the ER. So I called up my friend and asked if she could take me to the ER she's a nurse and I like her with me. On our way to the hospital we were in a car accident and I was hurt. My stomach was crunch on the seatbelt. The EMT recognized me and was giving me shit, he also questioned the validity of my injuries.He asked about my recent surgery and was asking about what type of surgery I had, I told him that I had a floating kidney but was unsure of the name of the surgery. I then told him my stomach was flat the day before and swelled after the pain. He then tried to get me to go to another hospital because out town hospital more than likely would send me away. I thought in my mind I had bowel obstruction so I said no take me to the local hospital. when I got there he told them that I "supposedly can't remember what type of surgery i had" and "she claims her stomach was flat but it's squishy" I was so embarrassed not to mention shaken from the accident. The doctor could care less about me, he had seen me before for anxiety and low magnesium but at the time I thought I was dying. He did am x-ray and blood work made me wait 6 hours and told me I was "fine" I told he I wasn't and asked why no further tests were performed he told me I had a lot of scans but would send me for a CT but he still was sure nothing was wrong. It turns out I had several large cysts on my ovaries and a few had burst.
I went home and was fine till Sunday, I could feel the obsession building. Were these cysts cancerous? I didn't have them two months ago for my scan for my kidney. Then I looked at my leg and found a bruise, I poked it then I felt my leg swell and seriously though I was having a PE. So I called 911. The EMT were sooo rude to me saying I was having a panic attack so I said that the bruise was nothing. So I asked if I should just stay home.He said "well you called so obviously you need to be seen" I get there and right off the bat there's a crowed of people making me feel like shit. One girl said "man why can't people just wait to see their doctors" another person was like God she was just here. the emt told them I was fine. I wanted to crawl up and die, I felt dehumanized.They continued to talk about me after I had gone in my room and even after, loud enough for me to hear their distaste for me being there. The nurse came and rudely asked what I was even doing there, I explained and said I was sorry. She then talked about my car wreck asking if I was driving and if I drove into the car, I said no. She then said she was there and was talking about that. Making me out to be some crazy person. She left, she was more focused on my car accident than anything. They continued to talk and then the doctor came in. I broke down crying, I felt like a loser and just wanted to leave. He then gave me a psych evaluation. Asking if I wanted to hurt other people or myself or if I heard voices. I was insulted, I said I have health anxiety I'm not crazy. I felt belittled and embarrassed. I told them I would never return and that I was sorry for wasting their time and walked out. I have never in my life felt like a bigger POS, they made me out to be this crazy psycho. My husband was home with my kids so I had to walk home, I cried the whole way home. That was my breaking point, I never want to go to the ER, or even my doctors again. I just want to be as far away from that as possible. ugh but on the other hand 85% of my complaints are real but now I'm wondering if I should just back off. I worry about cancer a lot but now I just want to stop going all together. ugh
I was doing fine until this past friday I had extreme pain in my lower stomach, I had been having problems with it since after the surgery but went to my doctor not the ER. So I called up my friend and asked if she could take me to the ER she's a nurse and I like her with me. On our way to the hospital we were in a car accident and I was hurt. My stomach was crunch on the seatbelt. The EMT recognized me and was giving me shit, he also questioned the validity of my injuries.He asked about my recent surgery and was asking about what type of surgery I had, I told him that I had a floating kidney but was unsure of the name of the surgery. I then told him my stomach was flat the day before and swelled after the pain. He then tried to get me to go to another hospital because out town hospital more than likely would send me away. I thought in my mind I had bowel obstruction so I said no take me to the local hospital. when I got there he told them that I "supposedly can't remember what type of surgery i had" and "she claims her stomach was flat but it's squishy" I was so embarrassed not to mention shaken from the accident. The doctor could care less about me, he had seen me before for anxiety and low magnesium but at the time I thought I was dying. He did am x-ray and blood work made me wait 6 hours and told me I was "fine" I told he I wasn't and asked why no further tests were performed he told me I had a lot of scans but would send me for a CT but he still was sure nothing was wrong. It turns out I had several large cysts on my ovaries and a few had burst.
I went home and was fine till Sunday, I could feel the obsession building. Were these cysts cancerous? I didn't have them two months ago for my scan for my kidney. Then I looked at my leg and found a bruise, I poked it then I felt my leg swell and seriously though I was having a PE. So I called 911. The EMT were sooo rude to me saying I was having a panic attack so I said that the bruise was nothing. So I asked if I should just stay home.He said "well you called so obviously you need to be seen" I get there and right off the bat there's a crowed of people making me feel like shit. One girl said "man why can't people just wait to see their doctors" another person was like God she was just here. the emt told them I was fine. I wanted to crawl up and die, I felt dehumanized.They continued to talk about me after I had gone in my room and even after, loud enough for me to hear their distaste for me being there. The nurse came and rudely asked what I was even doing there, I explained and said I was sorry. She then talked about my car wreck asking if I was driving and if I drove into the car, I said no. She then said she was there and was talking about that. Making me out to be some crazy person. She left, she was more focused on my car accident than anything. They continued to talk and then the doctor came in. I broke down crying, I felt like a loser and just wanted to leave. He then gave me a psych evaluation. Asking if I wanted to hurt other people or myself or if I heard voices. I was insulted, I said I have health anxiety I'm not crazy. I felt belittled and embarrassed. I told them I would never return and that I was sorry for wasting their time and walked out. I have never in my life felt like a bigger POS, they made me out to be this crazy psycho. My husband was home with my kids so I had to walk home, I cried the whole way home. That was my breaking point, I never want to go to the ER, or even my doctors again. I just want to be as far away from that as possible. ugh but on the other hand 85% of my complaints are real but now I'm wondering if I should just back off. I worry about cancer a lot but now I just want to stop going all together. ugh