Upset that my best friend is having sex?

[channie009]

Hi, first time posting in the social anxiety forum xD

Anyway, straight to it.
I have a best friend who i've known for 4 years. She is currently 16 and I am 20 and we are incredibly close and talk pretty much every day. She's like the little sister I never had.
We actually are from different countries and never met. Me from England and her from Portugal.

Basically, recently she's started having sex with her boyfriend. On her first time they never used a condom but the guy didn't climax but she panicked and panicked to me about getting pregnant. Despite saying to her countless times to just make sure she uses a condom, she had sex with him again without one. Still no climaxing though.

Every time she mentions to me about her and her boyfriend having sex I get so irritated at her. I don't even know why...

Is it normal for me to feel like this?

[Oosh]

Well why does it upset/irritate you ?

[Blagger Boy]

Is it not 'cause you think she's changing or sumat, or maybe you're worried that now she's having sex it will alter the friendship somehow?

I'm kinda stumped :)

[channie009]

Well why does it upset/irritate you ?

I don't know why
That's the thing..

[koala]

Your worried she is going to get hurt and you don't want someone you care about to get hurt as there is nothing you can do to help. If she's not listening to your advice about the condoms you could advise her on other methods of contraceptives?

Don't worry though I think it's normal to get irritated when the ones we care most about don't take our advice. I have a friend who is working herself into the ground and even though i have adviced her several times to cut back she won't listen and it massively irritates me as I know she is going to get hurt. However sometimes in life you just have to sit back and let them make and learn from their own mistakes. I know it's much easier said than done but as long as your there for her when she needs you and you do give her advice then at least you've done your bit.

Good luck

[Brunette]

You're upset that she "panicked and panicked about getting pregnant", you advised and reassured her and then she went and did the same thing again.

That sounds pretty normal to me - I'd be annoyed too.

[AnxietyDJ]

OK - before I comment, these are not necessarily my opinions, but just a few things that could possibly be perceived from what you said...

1) You are worried about your friend and that she may be hurt or fall pregnant
2) You are worried about your friend being close to someone new and therefore diminishing the strength of your relationship with her
3) You are envious of your friend's relationship and are annoyed about her 'bragging' about having sex etc.
4) You are frustrated with your friend because she continues to do (and tell you about) things that worry and upset you, even after you have explained your concerns to her

I'm just playing devils advocate here... It could be something entirely different of course.

Hope you manage to sort the situation out :hugs:

[HalfJack]

I've been frustrated with my friends when they did the same thing before.
It could be, and likely will be bad for her health and you care about her, that makes sense to me.

(The other thing as well is that whether or not he climaxes if they have unprotected sex there is still a chance she could get pregnant).