went to butlins 13th of june

[gem7]

got up called for cab at 9am to go to train station i took rescue remedy before we went out taken it with me in my hand bag got two trains & a bus then went to get our key cards then walked around found it hard to find our room then we found it then went down for dinner then went for a shower got ready went out after corrie at 9.30pm went to centre stage sat at back people stareing heard people talking about us someone when i first went in said something not very nice why are people so horrible wonder why i dont like leaveing the house think the world is like a play ground i feel when i am out i get bullyed why people so mean i hate this world people suck wasnt comfortable where we were sitting but in the end i stated to feel abit better but still my sister felt uncomfortable we were keep on moving tables cos of people stareing & that then finally friend came in emily was good to see her we went in to the reds we got chatted up by two lads who also lives in wales stayed out till 4am was ok good day 2 went down for break fast the lads behind counter when we went up to get our food said who let the dogs out that really hurt my feelings i felt abit confidence when i went out then heard them say that it knocked me down aswell it hurt my sister after that went to room for abit then went to town centre looked around the shops didnt enjoy walking around cos of anxiety felt strange then went on two rides with my sister whitch was a buzz loved it then my friend came to the room we were going to go swimming when we got there it closed so we went on some rides this time i was sick after i went on the waltz didnt enjoy so much i didnt like the bloke who was on the bumper cars he said i couldnt drive one & he said why was i smileing & he didnt like my shades when i was driving it he was running behind me that was putting me off but was trying to enjoy why butlins hire a nutter like that & one what is not nice to people dont make no diffants if u dont like the look of someone u treat people nice i hope someone puts a complaint in about him he should get fired i didnt like the way he was going on then at 5pm went to see a film with my sister & friend saw edge of tomorrow was ok film good enjoyed when we went down for dinner i just sat down cos i didnt want to go up after when they said that to me why butlins hire people like that too should hire people who is nice to everybody no matter what then after that got ready to go out went around my friends room had a drink was nice she give me a late birthday card & presents i left them in her room cos i didnt was to lug them out my friend also give me a vip band that was nice of her east 17 was on when we walked in we watched them by stage was ok went in vip was nice in there liked where was sitting went down to watch abit of damage then i felt guilty leaveing my sister on her own cos i said i be back in min i asked did she want to come down she didnt whitch i didnt like cos i wanted to go back down to front oh well when my friend said about going for me & helen to have some sisterly time i stormed off to toilet but in the end we ended up having a good night i found on this hol well on first two nights anxiety was bad in day then in night was better on sunday that was diffant felt ok in day then in night not myself this is the night i was looking forward too cos my fave group was on 911

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but we get to that part in a min day 3 went swimming with emily enjoyed then went to town centre looked around the shops with my sister whitch i enjoyed then we went back to room for abit of a rest then went down to dinner then got dressed to go out went to emilys room time then my anxiety was bad felt strange uncomfortable then we went in centre stage tribute to kylie was on watched her by stage was good even tho i felt funny then went in to vip for abit then took front for 911 felt alot more better when 911 came on i enjoyed it was good after them was sick in toilet all over the floor i had to wipe it up cos i didnt want to leave it like that then bang i felt like crap again went by back door then when they came out went to vip we sat down then we went up had pics then i sat down i felt uncomfortable didnt like where was sitting felt people stareing but was good to have pics with lee & jimmy even tho i didnt feel so good then after my drink we went said to my friends i was going & said to lee walked back to room i got a hot dog to eat for way back theses lads walked past us called said your wet then they started to laugh at me said something about my hair then went to bed wasnt looking forward into traveling back felt horrible soon as got off train got cab home but now so glad to be home glad to be back in my comfort zone this hol was the most worst butlins hol & worst i have felt with my anxiety & people being so horrible heard people say faggot when people should get there facts right i was with my sister & people saying other things but now i am home i am so glad anyway thats how i got on

[Oosh]

haha i love your stories gem7.

That sounded like a good holiday. Which butlins was it ??? I grew up going to Butlins Pwllheli in Wales. I think its Haven now.

Are you sure all of these people were mean to you ? Maybe you worry theyll be so think they ARE being mean to you. I mean some might, lots of gits out there, thats normal.

Just enjoy yourself gem7. It doesnt matter what anybody else says. Have insults ready for them all next time. Call them names and have a laugh about it.

[gem7]

thanks was the one in minehead went too some parts was ok good but its the worst i have ever felt while on hol yes i am sure people are horrible i cant take people like that i take afence easy i wouldnt call no one names cos i am not mean i am nice to everybody i dont judge people i was bringed up the right way to respect people but i get where your coming from Oosh

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and it takes guts to go out then u get mocked just makes u want to hide away again people should grow up & look at them selfs cos they dont think that words can scar cos they can & have words stick in me makes me feel horrible & just want to kill myself :sad:

[Oosh]

Sorry people were mean Gem. People can be cruel, youre right. Take no notice. Just concentrate on having a good laugh.

Minehead was the other Butlins i went to.

[gem7]

thanks Oosh was trying & with my anxiety beening bad was hard wish i was the old me again i hate feeling like a freak wish i was tough i never used to care what people think cos i got low self esteem it gets me down sometimes i think i be better off dead & my speech is so bad cos of anxiety but least i got out the house for 3 days even tho was hard but proud i did it & went plus i got to see my good friends emily & donna

[gem7]

oh and forgot to say the room i had who i was by next store was knocking slamming doors even when stayed out till 4am only had 3 hours sleep was knocking when in bed that traveling has took it out of me still feel tired even now i hate this anxiety & depression its ruining my life :sad: