Anxiety and low mood

[Lyn89]

Hello everyone, I'm sorry if I seem to be posting on here too much, it's just such a good place to talk to others who suffer anxiety as I don't have any friends or family who have it as well (at least that I'm aware of) so I hope I'm not annoying anybody.

Things are still going pretty well compared to before I had a job, and thanks to this website my anxiety symptoms and obsessive thinking is actually better the past few days too :) I'm not body scanning much at all anymore, which is amazing for me.

The only thing is that sometimes I still feel kind of low. I know most people with anxiety do, and everyone has up and down days. I think right now I just feel kind of negative about myself at work-- I have no indication of how I'm doing there or if my bosses like me or not. I'm always worried they're going to regret hiring me or I'll do something to really mess up. This is only my second ever job and I worked really hard to get it. Working people-- if bosses have a problem, they generally tell you, right? No news is good news? They have praised me on little things, but my overall performance and what they think of me is still a mystery to me. So any advice there would be really helpful!

I'm also kind of worried that I'll get too bored and the anxiety/low mood of not having a job will come back. I'm not bored at all yet, and I still love working there, so I guess I'm just catastrophising. They always teach staff new things and keep it varied and interesting, so I'm lucky, but there's still that niggling voice telling me this break isn't going to last forever, however positively I try and spin it.

I think I'm a person who really needs self-affirming or reassurance in general. I always have to feel like I've figured out where I am in my life right now and be surrounded by familiar, comforting things. Nothing had changed lately, but I feel a bit lost at the moment as well as low, like I can't place things as well as I have been doing the past few weeks.

I'm not sure where I'm really going with this, just needed to vent that stuff. Do you guys think the worries are typical or is it a kind of mild depression again? I guess I am a bit more tired in the evenings and I'm not as into movies as I was before, but I'm not sure if that's just because my priorities have shifted with work and I'm busier. I don't feel emotionally depressed in the strict definition of the word, but I'd love to hear what others have to say.

Thanks so much if you read all this-- you don't know how much it helps.

[Sunflower2]

I'd be lost without this site now, it's there when I feel awful, it's there when I want to read something encouraging and to know I'm not alone.

In my opinion it's completely normal to have those worries even if you don't have anxiety, they just get a bit blown out of proportion when you do! You said yourself that they have praised you, bosses don't always tend to tell you outright how well you're doing but I think you'd know if you were messing up by now, they'd definitely tell you!

I also need to know where I'm going and what I'm doing, I don't think it's a terribly bad thing as it's always pushing me to go further and work harder! As soon as I have nothing to do I start feeling a bit down and aimless.

I also get mild depression now and then so I can be really up and down and all over the place, my thoughts get so irrational and make me hate myself and feel like a failure, and then the next day I'll feel bad to my normal self. Don't be too harsh on yourself, I'm just trying to roll with it and not look to much into it anymore!

[Lyn89]

Thank you Kimberley2 :) that helped a lot. I'd never thought about the drove to work harder when feeling aimless/lost, that's a great way to look at it. As well as saying that I was somewhat normal! :D

Thanks so much for reading and replying :hugs:

[Sunflower2]

Yeah anxiety may make us crazy but there are some positives :D always happy to help someone out!

[Ryan92]

Hi Lyn, personally, I think it's normal to have these kind of thoughts or good and bad days, with or without anxiety :) we're all only human after all. Try not to let the bad moments put you off, your doing great :D

This sites helping me too, realising I'm not the only one and people here who fully understand. Knowing that there's always someone who can give you support or reassurance when you need help or advice. Supporting each other. Using this site is actually helping me with my anxiety.

I know how you feel with reassurance and praise, I'm like this too. Just feel I need reassurance etc to see how I'm doing. I believe I need reassurance incase I've done something wrong even if I did something perfectly fine I still feel I need reassurance. I might then start worrying and have "what if" thoughts. I think its because of my anxiety and confidence issues, I normally have a feeling I've messed up or disappointed people after doing something. (Even though thats not usually true)

It's great you've been praised by your bosses :D, I understand you may feel a little lost if you might not feel reassured by your bosses often but like you've said no news is good news :)

Try not to worry about thoughts that they regret hiring you, I bet they're very glad they did :yesyes: plus, if you're enjoying your job you'll be working very well and I bet your bosses can see that.

Hope things carry on going really well for you :hugs:

[Lyn89]

Thanks so much Ryan 92 :) I really appreciate the response. I'm feeling a bit better today and more positive-- I definitely think I'm dragging myself down over work. This job just means so much to me so I have a lot to lose I suppose. But you're right, no reason to really believe I will lose it :) thanks for the kind words and encouragement. I'm going to try and start exercising more to get my mood up as well