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erm156
17-06-14, 21:54
Hi - this is my first post on this forum, but I have been visiting over the past few years. I remember watching a short video that discussed things to avoid doing that keep health anxiety going: body checking, symptom googling and reassurance seeking.

My problem is body checking. I have become seemingly hypersensitive to any sensation, mark or other strange feeling/discomfort. I start to think that there is something wrong with me, then I proceed to poke at or examine the area/body part in question, sometimes for hours. I try and avoid the urge to check, but my anxiety skyrockets. Lately, I've been better about not checking EVERY single sensation/mark (e.g. a mole) that bothers me; however, I have noticed that despite the fact that I hardly do any body checking now, my mind seems to have gone into overdrive with lots of 'what if' worries regarding health. I figured stopping the body checking would be beneficial, and, to an extent, I feel less anxious than before, but I never expected my mind to race like it does with so many intrusive thoughts (it seems like, since I stopped checking, my mind alone is now handling double the anxiety). If I can keep avoiding body checking, will my mind eventually calm down? Do the intrusive thoughts ever stop? I also feel like general anxiety I experience in day-to-day life translates itself into worries about my health.

If body checking should be avoided, what do you do about routine checking that doctors recommend? My GP told me years ago that I should examine my testicles monthly to check for any abnormalities, which seems to be standard procedure for most guys. I always dread doing this because it makes me very anxious. In the past, I've sometimes spent hours checking them and become so upset because I thought I discovered something abnormal, which would turn out to be nothing. Now, when the time when I usually check them rolls around (middle of the month), I'm filled with dread and anxiety because 1) I'm scared I might find something abnormal and 2) I've realized that body checking only makes me more anxious. This month I told myself I wasn't going to check them, but not doing so made me miserable/depressed/anxious for days, until I finally broke down and examined them (though I set a timer for 20 minutes and limited my examination period to that time). Since checking them, I feel better, but I'm already dreading having to do it again next month. I can't keep having this monthly dread. This seems so stupid and embarrassing and I do not want to live like this. Is it necessary to do routine examinations like this (especially since I should be avoiding body checking behavior since it only makes my anxiety worse)? Anyone else in a similar situation? Any tips/strategies for managing this?

Sorry for the long-winded post. I'd appreciate any advice or insight. Thanks for your time and consideration.

Neon
05-07-14, 20:08
I'm looking for similar info actually. Resisting the urge to examine is actually painful, the stress of just HAVING to check is compulsive. I'm going to try and stop myself next time and see how long I can last. I was talking to my husband who's pretty normal and asked him how often he 'checks himself'. And he looked at me like I was crazy. He never asks himself how he's feeling or where it hurts. He said if he feels stressed he can feel it, he doesn't need to check himself. The same with illness, if he's sick, he's sick. It's not a question of 'Are you sick?'. This was pretty shocking for me because I thought my behaviour was so normal. But I know what he means. I never used to ask myself. But I got really worried about Me after a period of stress and then illness and now I can't stop trying to look after myself. I wouldn't be surprised if part of me feels a tad smothered and incompetent because I keep checking myself. I'm probably very angry at myself too I think. Oh it's so hard :'(

Sam100322
05-07-14, 20:54
I do the same thing check myself to see how I'm feeling so many times during the day :-( I try so hard not to. The more you keep yourself busy the more you distract yourself from checking so try to do that I know it's easier said then done

luc
05-07-14, 21:28
About one week ago a light went on in my head that has been off for 10 years!!! I am now able to get on with my day without checking or avoiding my body. This for me is worth a million pounds because this manifestation of HA/OCD took over my life. If you look at my posts you will see the extent of my avoidance techniques . The flip side of this was checking until my boobs were VERY bruised. I am now no longer hyper sensitive/ alert regarding my body and contact with it. It is not about avoidance or monthly checking, it is about treating your body as you did pre HA - switching off your alert button. I am at a point now that I never thought I would get to and It has been a long time coming and I am not of much use as I do not for the life of me know how that light went on. I have phoned all my friends to tell them I can touch my boobs and they are presented with a demonstration when I see them ha! My advice that I never took is don't check, don't avoid. If you had a lump etc going about your daily life 'normally' you would be alerted to it.

---------- Post added at 21:28 ---------- Previous post was at 21:20 ----------

An example, I could check a bra for blood in every light for about an hour. Now if said bra had blood on I would know. I would not have to move rooms for a better light!! I would probably been informed by family, friend or colleague that I had blood on my top!! IT IS AN IRRATIONAL COMPULSION !!!!!

Neon
05-07-14, 21:42
This is so so so true. I check for blood (tmi- in my pants, sorry) and I will question every little colour nuance. Menses start and I don't even bat an eyelid. But if i spy even the slightest colour change the rest of the time I panic.

I would KNOW if there was really blood there. I would know because I wouldn't panic. I panic over the uncertainty, is it, isn't it, could it etc!? When I'm actually sick I'm fine because everything makes sense and is predictable.

I'm going to try and apply this. Let's see if I can turn this damn panic button off.

Jennyzee
06-07-14, 15:44
Omg Im not alone!!! I constantly check my stomach poking until it hurts. Check my stool for blood constantly, its ruining my life!!!! Glad to know im not alone:unsure:

luc
06-07-14, 18:10
I believe that we have to treat this as OCD and really fight the urge to check/ avoid. We have to set goals, keep logs etc. I never did this because I believed it would give extra focus to the issue, but the issue already ruled my life !! This morning I MADE myself wash my boobs (sorry TMI) in the shower as I could hear my now little baby dragon (LBD)whispering "remember your going on holiday at the weekend so don't touch your boobs". Tomorrow morning I am going to the doctors as I have just had bloods taken and they have found my colestorel to be high. Now that LBD is again telling me to cancel and go when I return from holiday just in case the doctor tells me something that I can manipulate. I will go though, because if am on the right track and it would be so easy to cancel and that LBD could have a growth spurt - sorry about the analogy but it helps me honest:wacko: So back to my original point, effort and determination is needed. We need to give it focus but in a rational way and we need to practice that rational thinking as for us at the moment it does not come naturally.
What I find interesting and would love to hear your views is why I/you let that dragon in, fed it, nurtured it for so long and what purpose did that relationship serve!!... and by the way I haven't been smoking that whacky backyard ha.