major advice needed please!

[lonelysongbird]

Hi everyone,

Thanks for taking the time to read this I could do with some advice.
I've suffered from major depression and just lately it's been slowly getting worse.
Over the past month I've spiralled out of control a due a number of reasons for which I'll name a few, work, home life and personal issues I'm in quite a bad way and my suicidal thoughts are in my opinion out of hand.
On Tuesday (2 days ago) I took an overdose of propranolol beta blockers and cutting a long story short after spending time in hospital and seeing the crisis team I was discharged.
I went home feeling even lower than before.
Yesterday I took another dose of the same medication but more in the hope of it actually working.
I tried to reach out to speak to my gp who didn't call me back but I just gave up and took too many (obviously not enough tho) and drank a bottle of wine in the Dr's carpark.
Anyway cutting a very very very long day short I spent the night in hospital wired up to a heart monitor and a drip.
I was told I was going to see someone who could truly help me but this morning after seeing the crisis team AGAIN they've sis hanged me with an appointment back with my gp tomoro morning.
I feel I'm losing it, I can't control the urges to end things.
I don't regret what I done yesterday I just regret the pain I put my partner through.
Please can anyone give me any advice on what to do?
The crisis team told me to call them if I feel suicidal again or if my partner is concerned but what would the do?
I just need to be somewhere where they can put me to sleep and reset my brain to give me a rest.
(I know it will never happen but we can all wish anyway).

Thanks for reading, I await you're replies :)

[raggamuffin]

Sickening people haven't responded to you sooner. Truly it's annoying me to no end. I'm truly sorry you've been driven to overdoses etc. Have you undergone therapy in the past? Given the situations you've recently gone through and the fact you're in the UK you'd have access to free therapy via the NHS. Not only that, but you should be prioritised given then fact you've attempted suicide.

Depression tends to be a by-product of other disorders as well. A crisis team is all well and good for the short term but I think you need weekly therapy sessions. Truly, when my anxiety and depression has felt so severe I wish I could be sectioned. Truth be told I think i'd relish a structured medical environment where I could be cared for. But each to their own.

As I said, you're in UK. You can visit your local Dr surgery when they open and request an emergency Dr's appointment. you'll get one that day and I recommend perhaps writing everything out. So you can describe in full everything occurring in your life and the hardships you're facing. Ask if there's anything your GP can do to prioritise therapy for yourself.

Going private for therapy is expensive and often anxiety and depression can be so debilitating that it prevents us from doing the 9-5 job. Truly I wish I had more helpful advice for you. But I hope i've offered at least some informative info that you might be able to use.

Ed

[AnxietyDJ]

Sorry to hear that you're having such an awful time of it... I can only imagine what you must be going through.

With regards to your local surgery / hospital, the key is just not to take no for an answer... If they're anything like where I live, then you always have a battle for appointments, no matter how urgent - it's a terrible state of affairs.

I know you probably don't want to have people around you at the moment, but if you can get some close friends or family into the loop, that can just be there - even if you don't talk... it's a big help.

Sorry that I can't really be more useful with my advice, I just hope that everything is ok. Remember if you feel that low or desperate, there are always people like the Samaritans you can ring and speak to (my Aunt volunteers for them and they do a fantastic job), any time of the day or night. There's always someone willing to listen, even if it doesn't seem that way at times.

Take care of yourself and let us know how you're doing :flowers: