At the end of my rope...

[Uknow]

I'm new to this whole thing.. My SO has anxiety and we just started blending our life's in one house hold.. I have 2 children 13 year old girl and 9 year old boy.. He has his 10 year old daughter half the time.. Let me get to the point..

I'm on edge every moment he's at home, I'm just waiting for him to complain/worry about something. The trash, dishes, kids... Just anything! Even when I bust my butt to clean the whole house there's still something he will have to say.. I'm on edge just waiting for what's going to come out his mouth... He's not abusive and isn't lazy, he will clean. He complains so much that I feel I need to keep all my complaints deep inside me bc I can't handle everyone complaining.. It's so hard... I can't expect my children to change overnight bc he can't handle this or that.. My kids are older.. It's a process.. His anxiety is causing me stress.. And I can't handle stress.. I just want to take a Ativan daily.. I don't but I really really want too! It's so hard.. Please if anyone has advise help me.. I love him and he's great but our relationship going down hill..

[.Poppy.]

I think you need to be honest with him. I tend to get grouchy and on-edge when I am fully caught up in something that is making me very anxious, so I understand that point of view, though I know it's not a good thing and it is something I am working on.

What if you told him you knew he has anxiety, and that you know there are things that are bothering him. Maybe from there you can set up a time of day, such as an evening walk, where the two of you talk about what is bothering you. Maybe he's worried about work stuff, or a bill, or something else entirely - give him a set time where he can vent those things to you, you listen with a sympathetic ear, and maybe offer suggestions (if wanted, and if possible). Obviously this would be a two way street - if you have anxieties as well, he needs to listen to them too!

This just always helps me - a long walk at the lake, removed from my problems, with my mother listening to my problems and offering support or advice is the fastest way to make me feel better. Let him know he can come to you with his worries as if he keeps them inside they'll just bottle up and the bad attitude will get much worse (trust me!) but let him know that he needs to try to limit his venting to those set times and not be a pain ALL the time. This may even help him some, as one of the techniques to manage anxiety is to set a time of day to "worry" about things and not think about them the rest of the time.