LittleM
20-06-14, 08:43
I lost my Mum at the end of February after a long time with cancer. She was only 58 and I am 23.
I have suffered with anxiety, agoraphobia as well as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for the past couple of years anyway but the grieving process has made my symptoms worse. I used to cherish the fact I was a good sleeper, but now I seem to wake up at 5am every day and can't get back to sleep. I also have high anxiety first thing which I have to try and calm myself down from. I do see someone about my anxiety but it's the physical nature of the symptoms which are getting to me. I just want to know that it will get better. I know I shouldn't be too hard on myself but sleep is the one thing that makes me feel normal and right now it is making my day to day life really difficult.
What doesn't help is that my sister is getting married next month and because I am feeling so run down with my CFS and obviously my agoraphobia it's touch and go whether I'll even be there. The guilt is eating me up and probably adding to the reason I'm waking up early. The reason I say this is because when I first found out Mum died I had these sleeping problems, but then after the funeral I settled down again and slept normally, but on the run up to the wedding the past month or so the disrupted sleep has come back. I think maybe I should just tell her that it's looking unlikely I'll be able to make it. She knows about my problems but it's just she always held out hope that I might make it, but judging on my health the past few weeks I feel I won't be able to be there.
Are all these feelings normal? Is disrupted sleep normal? I just freak out at all these changes and wish things would settle down :( sorry for this random post, I don't really use forums that much and often don't know where's best to ask for advice. If anyone has gone through the grieving process of a parent or someone close I would really appreciate advice.
I have suffered with anxiety, agoraphobia as well as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for the past couple of years anyway but the grieving process has made my symptoms worse. I used to cherish the fact I was a good sleeper, but now I seem to wake up at 5am every day and can't get back to sleep. I also have high anxiety first thing which I have to try and calm myself down from. I do see someone about my anxiety but it's the physical nature of the symptoms which are getting to me. I just want to know that it will get better. I know I shouldn't be too hard on myself but sleep is the one thing that makes me feel normal and right now it is making my day to day life really difficult.
What doesn't help is that my sister is getting married next month and because I am feeling so run down with my CFS and obviously my agoraphobia it's touch and go whether I'll even be there. The guilt is eating me up and probably adding to the reason I'm waking up early. The reason I say this is because when I first found out Mum died I had these sleeping problems, but then after the funeral I settled down again and slept normally, but on the run up to the wedding the past month or so the disrupted sleep has come back. I think maybe I should just tell her that it's looking unlikely I'll be able to make it. She knows about my problems but it's just she always held out hope that I might make it, but judging on my health the past few weeks I feel I won't be able to be there.
Are all these feelings normal? Is disrupted sleep normal? I just freak out at all these changes and wish things would settle down :( sorry for this random post, I don't really use forums that much and often don't know where's best to ask for advice. If anyone has gone through the grieving process of a parent or someone close I would really appreciate advice.