PDA

View Full Version : Falling apart



Icequeen
20-06-14, 13:37
okay so i've been on 30mg cit for 9 months... been going okay in that time, a few downs but mostly ive been on a nice level plateau ... about a month ago things hit rock bottom, i couldnt cope and my OH has now moved out... because of him, and my general way of feeling i am in absolute turmoil

i set my alarm for 5am, but rarely feel conscious until 7.15am, i physically cannot get up, no matter what sort of alarm i use or where i put it. it is getting unbearable now, and today i was late for work yet again.

my appetite is up and down, some days i dont eat other days i have jamtarts for my dinner and some ice cream for tea...

i feel tired come evening but rarely get to sleep before 11 at least. but when im asleep, im gone out for the count. normally im a really light sleeper though

until lunchtime most days im drowsy, my eyes want to close and feel like my eye balls are rolling in my head.

i get night sweats and wake up sweating sometimes.

i cat concentrate on anything that needs concentration...

im a horse rider and when im riding, im largely okay.

im picking at my hands badly, most my fingers are bleeding and so sore.

im grinding my teeth and i have a terrible habit of clicking my jaw and now that is agony!

sometimes i feel like a migraine is coming, my eyes go a bit sensitive to light but only if im walking around, like my body is telling me to just stop!

i have hysterical breakdowns several evenings, i just sit and cry uncontrollably, and the other night i was pacing up and down just not knowing what to do.

i forget almost everything, appointments, dog and cat food, mowing my lawn... just nothing happens because i just cannot think at all

i just dont know what to do though... at all... with anything anywhere....

xx

Deepthinker
20-06-14, 15:30
Hi, IceQueen, I'm so sorry you are having a rough time. I don't think your meds have stopped working for you. I think that your world has been turned upside down because your OH left. Anyone would be grieving and having a hard time and lose their appetite and have mood swings if they were going through what you are going through. Try to be gentle with yourself right now and ask your doc for any help he might be able to offer during this time. You are just grieving and that is completely normal. You are going to be fine...hugs to you!:hugs: