Scared of Motorway

[Carnation]

Hi,

I posted before about fear of driving, but my other fear is the motorway; even if someone else is driving. Going on Holiday next week and so scared of the journey. A three and a half hour journey and two motorways!
4 months ago I struggled with a 15 minute journey and have managed a dual carriageway, but the thought of the big wide Motorway just scares me to Hell. Then, when my Partner suggested we try a little trip on the A3, guess what? Radio announced an accident on the A3. Well, that was it.
Was that a warning? I don't know, but I fear I won't be going away after all. I had a car accident 6 months ago which has left me feeling sooo scared. Has anyone got any tips or experiences of this? Please......:scared15:

[Sunflower2]

I was scared of being on motorways as a passenger for a while, but I ended up getting over it as we were on the for so long my anxiety got bored! As you're the passenger just try to distract yourself with whatever you can, look out the window, listen to music, play driving games, chat to your partner, close your eyes if you feel really panicky, and then the feelings will pass and once you feel calm again then you know you've come out the other side of a panic attack and you can be confident you survived so the rest of the journey will feel much better!
I was on a motorway in the south of France a couple of weeks ago and it goes through tunnels and over bridges and it's fast and a bit terrifying, but I got through it so you can too! :)

[Carnation]

Thanks for the tips, but my scary bit starts before I even get into the Car!
I work myself in to a state, almost preparing myself for having a Panic Attack. And I am so bad, I have been known to scream and cry; 'let me out of the Car'! I can't do this on the Motorway and that's why I can cope with the local roads because I know we can stop, but once on the never-ending Motorway, I am stuffed!:scared15: I'm thinking it's just not worth it, I'd rather not go, but my Partner needs a break. He can't bear me in the Car either, maybe I should let him go on his own???
To me, climbing the roof of a House is less frightening.:ohmy:

[Sunflower2]

Ah I know what you mean, expecting the worst and then because you're waiting for the panic it's always there waiting for you once you're in the car! Don't give up, definitely practice going on motorways though even though you panic. Have you ever had a panic attack subside while still on a motorway or has it just continued until you've stopped the car?

[MRS STRESS ED]

Carnation I can so relate to you I had a crash couple of years ago ,it was horrible since then im terrified of the motorway and I dont no why because my crash happened on a normal road ,it was the other driver fault but my hubby had to go hospital so it left me feeling awful he knows it wasnt my fault but I still blame myself ,its changed the way I drive im so nervous now ,wishing you well for your journwy just focus on having a nice holiday thats what I do xx

[Carnation]

Kimberley2, my Panic Attacks were always on the Motorway and of course I thought I was dying from Heart failure or something and it didn't subside until I came off the Motorway. I would be in tears by the time I reached my destination. This happened every time I went on the Motorway since my Car Accident. That's why I have the fear!:unsure:

Mrs Stress Ed, Like you, my Car Accident was on a normal road and it wasn't my fault. A car went in to the back of me, but it hit me so hard that I thought I had died. Any bang and loud noise I hear, I jump out of my skin and when I go in the car now, I am like Mrs Bouquet saying 'Mind that Car', Watch the Kerb' and Mind that Lady coming into the road'. I drive my Partner mad and I have not been able to drive myself for the last 4 months. I just find it too traumatic and I am worried that I might lose control.:ohmy:

[Sunflower2]

Ah I'm sorry you're struggling so much, have you driven at all since the accident? I've worked out that when I'm not feeling confident that's when I struggle with driving most, so could you maybe like do little drives close to home and slowly build it up? I did some refresher driving lessons, that would take out the stress driving with your family can cause as the instructors are really patient, and you can be sure if you're not in control, they definitely are? That might make you feel a little more relaxed about driving?

[raggamuffin]

The further away from home I used to drive the more anxious i'd get. It's calmed down a bit now but I understand what you're going through. Sometimes i'd just have constant panic attacks whilst on the motorway. But each time you face your fears and get through the other side it makes you that little bit stronger. The more you do it the calmer you'll gradually become.

Ed

[Carnation]

Thanks Kimberley2, I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and go for it. I'll never know if I don't try and I don't want to miss out on Holidays for the rest of my Life. We'll see what happens and I'll let you know.:ohmy:

[Sunflower2]

Good luck!! You can do this!

[MRS STRESS ED]

Mrs Stress Ed, Like you, my Car Accident was on a normal road and it wasn't my fault. A car went in to the back of me, but it hit me so hard that I thought I had died. Any bang and loud noise I hear, I jump out of my skin and when I go in the car now, I am like Mrs Bouquet saying 'Mind that Car', Watch the Kerb' and Mind that Lady coming into the road'. I drive my Partner mad and I have not been able to drive myself for the last 4 months. I just find it too traumatic and I am worried that I might lose control.:ohmy:[/QUOTE]


Carnation I know its hard but try to get back into your car ,I wouldnt let it win I got straight back in and yeah im still nervous ,more so if im not sure how to get there I get scared in case I end up taking a wrong turn and going onto the motorway :scared15:but I still drive I do find it hard but I need to drive ,just try a small run were you are familiar with good luck love xx

[Carnation]

Thanks you Mrs Stress Ed.

I am going to try and you'll be pleased to know that I have just moved the car out of the garage and drove it up the side street. (We'll, its a start). :)
The Motorway trip; (without me driving), is the challenge to come.:ohmy:

[Sunflower2]

Congrats on driving your car even a little! Got to start somewhere :) how long is it until your trip?

[MRS STRESS ED]

Thanks you Mrs Stress Ed.

I am going to try and you'll be pleased to know that I have just moved the car out of the garage and drove it up the side street. (We'll, its a start). :)
The Motorway trip; (without me driving), is the challenge to come.:ohmy:

:yesyes:Well done thats not a small step its a huge step and dont worry about not driving on the motorway I dont either I just pray all the way while my hubby drives :winks:

[Carnation]

Thank you Kimberley, I was only in the Car for 5 minutes, but its a start.
Holiday starts next Saturday.

That's just what I will be doing Mrs Stress Ed. PRAYING!

[Carnation]

:weep:Hi,

Feel ashamed. Didn't go away, let my Partner down, because he needed the break; just couldn't do it. Anxiety Symptoms and the Mind took over and I chickened out. I felt I wasn't ready, but I won't give up, I am going to have another shot at this in September. I just feel like I've really let myself down and everyone else who are so brave to tackle their fears.:scared15:

[aprilmoon]

Hi Carnation
You haven't let anyone down.
You just weren't ready,that's all.Don't beat yourself up over it.
You say you're willing to have a go in Sept,and that's good enough.
The people you say who have tackled their fears,for many of them,it wasn't their first attempt.
Sending you a hug

[Carnation]

Thank you Aprilmoon,
I've had a good cry, because I feel so pathetic!!!
I have overcome so many demons and fighting them, but when you realize you can't do a simple thing like go on Holiday like you have been doing all of your Life, it really brings it back to you. Everyone's support is so important on here and it really helps.

[Sunflower2]

Hey Carnation,
You've given me some pretty good advice in my own post, so you shouldn't feel pathetic or like a failure at all. From what you've said you have been pretty brave overcoming a variety of issues, so just like them, in time you will manage this one too. Everyone struggles with something, anxiety just likes to take hold of one particular problem and feel overwhelming.

When I told my therapist that I worried over so many silly little things she said that no problem is silly, it doesn't matter what it is you struggle with, it's just your mind reacting to your thoughts. And since it remembered that a certain thought or situation was scary, then next time you encounter it of course your mind and body will feel anxious. So the trigger itself isn't important, it could be something basic like going to the toilet even!

I've also been worried about being too much of a difficulty to my boyfriend as I worry to excess and act odd haha. Just make sure he knows you appreciate him still and do a few nice things, as anxiety is a very selfish condition and it makes us come across like we don't care about anyone other than ourselves!

Also about the driving, I still get panic attacks when I'm driving and I still don't really go out at night, but the more you do it, it does get easier I promise! I went out on Friday night and my friend drove me home along the dual carriageway in the dark and I was fine! A year ago I would definitely NOT have done that. Just try build up slowly, drive as often as you can just short distances then a little further now and then. But make sure that if you have a panic attack, then go out the next day because I'm not sure if you're the same but oddly I feel calmer afterwards. I still get nervous before going out driving, but panicking in the car is happening further and further from home now as I push out my boundaries.

And if you really can face the motorway, could you go an alternate route? My routes in past have been like twice as long, but I've still gotten to my destination in a good time!

Don't give up! :D

[AlexandriaUK]

In the scheme of things the motorway is the safest place to travel on compared to other Roads, yes there can be delays but download a good audio book and set of earphones and curl up and enjoy your hols,what type of story do you like and I will send you free link.