melanoma. Scared

[CaliSurfGirl89]

Hi everyone i am new to this but have read alot of melanoma threads. I am freaking out at the moment.
I have always had a mole under my boob (all my life) but when i started using sunbeds when i was 19 (i abused them) it got like a star shaped faint border around it roughly the same color just alot fainter. I went to the doctors and she checked it with a light thing they shine in ur ear and said it was fine. Fast forward 5-6 years and the border looks a teeny bit more stretched (maybe with boob increase as its on my boob) the mole itself is small like 4mm but longest point with the border is 7-8mm i think the dr said. In total 5 drs have said its fine but the 5th dr said she doesnt think its melanoma but she is sending me to a dermatologist (which can take 2 months) as it is different to the others and this is the 5th dr ive asked. I am so scared that i have been misdiagnosed all these years and now it is going to be in late stages and i wont survive. My husband doesnt understand how scared i am, im only 25 and so scared. I know people can have melanomas that go undiagnosed for like 10 years. Drs have said id be dead by now but i doubt that. Other than the border there is nothing else, looks 2 colours at most, has always been slightly raised and squishy, dont itch, doesnt hurt, doesnt bleed or weep, like i said it basically hasnt changed in 6 years except for stretch a bit with my boobs. I hope someone can talk to me and hopefully give me facts. I do apologise. My fear comes from my mom being misdiagnosed with breast cancer and dying 2-3 years later at 47 and i know skin cancer is deadly and ive been stupid with sunbeds and sunbathing, i do still sunbathe here and there but with factor 30
thank you xx

[Rennie1989]

Malignant Melanoma is a very fast acting cancer, it would be impossible to have it for years without any follow up symptoms and ill health. It is also a very rare form of cancer. So for that reason I doubt it is MM.

Some doctors will send you to a dermatologist just for your piece of mind. I am very moley and have had most of my moles checked out. The biggest I have ticks every box, it's 10mm wide, raised, multi-coloured and so on and it is A-OK, it grew quite suddenly which prompt me to get it checked and because it stopped growing and did not have those danger signs it was fine. I've even had moles the size of 4mm checked.

Try not to worry. The fact that the appointment is 2 months away says to me that it is of no concern.

[swanick15]

I went to my doctor about a mole, he suspected that it was a melanoma after he looked it up on google images! If the GP thought it was melanoma they would have sent you on an emergency referral which is 2 weeks. The magnifier they used is called a dermatascope, this magnifies it by 10x so they can see it better. I had a registrar and consultant dermatologist look at mine and both said it was fine. There is a type of mole called an atypical nevus which just means that it resembles a melanoma but is completely benign. It is also normal for moles to change size proportional to skin growth. In the mean time stop worrying if it was melanoma by now it would have spread and you would be dead and buried!!!

[CaliSurfGirl89]

thank you guys. It just freaks me out as ive seen people watch theirs change over 6 years although theirs looked worse than mine, someone said theyd had a mole for 28 years and she went undiagnosed for 10 years. I read somewhere (and i know its bad to google but when u hit ur lowest i guess u need some sort of reassurance) that it can take 10 years for it to develop and be fatal others it can be like 18 months. I keep telling myself im sure it would have continued to change other than the 6yrs ago, no other dr has checked it using that light. How do i attach a pic from my phone to see what people think? and thanks again xx

---------- Post added at 15:12 ---------- Previous post was at 15:10 ----------

plus Aaron can a mole you have had all your life suddenly become atypical/dysplastic? x

[swanick15]

If it happens suddenly it should be looked by a doctor defintely but they tend to darken and change with age I think but still see a doctor, Homornal changes in puberty and pregnancy can change the , mine is called a Congenital Melanocytic Naevus as I was born with it and it changed over time but yours should definitely be examined by a medical professional.

[CaliSurfGirl89]

I have lots of weird moles, some of them look like 2 halves of color lol, i worry about all of them but mainly my breast 1 as its been like that so long, i dont know if the change was sudden or slow as its on the side towards the bottom of my breast so not somewhere id always check lol i just know the border stuck out past the mole as i noticed it and went str8 to the drs, my mole itself has a defined border, its hard to describe what the border looks like, i can still see my skin, its looks almost like i said a star around a mole but the star is hazy, i can deffo tell where the mole ends and the star begins x

---------- Post added at 16:43 ---------- Previous post was at 16:37 ----------

I mean if the mole has been there all my life and the border for 6 years and it hasnt changed and i cant feel a lump under, and theres no color change no elevation (other than the slight squishy elevation that was already there) theres no pain, itchiness, blood, crustiness or scabbing, weeping, the texture is smooth etc and there hasnt been since it changed those years ago theres a good chance its fine (i hope) the mole is slightly raised but the pigment is completely flat on my skin x

[swanick15]

The slight raise could be from irritation or dry skin/eczema

[CaliSurfGirl89]

It has always had a slight raise to it, its very squishy. Id add a picture if i knew how from a phone x

[CaliSurfGirl89]

Somebody just help me down again. Ive not been feeling well, headaches, stomach pain (mainly left side) sickness and dizziness, i have a sharp pain in my rectum (kinda like pressure feeling) and ive been going a few times today, im not eating much. My muscles, joints and bones hurt, my body feels like it has a tremor and feel like my whole body is a heartbeat. My armpits hurt and the outside of my breasts or painful. My eyes keep going blurry and i feel like i have phlegm constantly in my throat, my ears hurt. To make matters worse i was using a sterile needle to get ingrown hairs out and picked out a flat light brown freckle/mole on my leg and now have a small shallowish hole there. Im just constantly on the edge about all my moles and blemishes, i dnt want to be afraid of the sun, i wanna go out with my factor 30 on and just lay there. I just wish this fear would go and stay hidden, i wish i was happy and care free like i was in Dec. I have no idea what triggered this fear i had even been on the sunbed that day. Heck i even know ppl who tan outside with oil or no protection and both are blonde haired blue eyed, i know ppl who go on sunbeds alot yet hold no fear, y cant we all be like that, i dnt smoke i drink once in a blue moon, i just wanna be a happy girl again and i need a hug :( xx

---------- Post added at 22:36 ---------- Previous post was at 22:30 ----------

My neck is killing me too, arghhh i just wanna crawl under a rock, this is not me :( x

[Fishmanpa]

Four medical professionals have given you the all clear. The fifth gave you the all clear but is referring you for reassurance. What can anyone else say (no one here are trained professionals) that can quell your fears?

I don't think you'd not be checked for several years so your doctor can keep an eye on things. It's highly doubtful you're be written up in the Daily News ;)

Positive thoughts

[CaliSurfGirl89]

i know deep down that im more than likely be ok lol its just this anxiety demon and its nice (not that kind of way) to chat to people in the same boat. Doctors have looked at it and felt it etc and thats it only 1 dr used the light and that was years ago my mole has not grown since it what last messed 7 months ago and it is 8mm across but not in diameter if that makes sense? there have been no other changes either. The only thing that confuses me about "your more at risk" is my hair isnt red its darkish brown with red tones in, my eyes green, blue and brown lol i have just as many moles as my hubby and he is dark brown hair and eyes, i only burn if im out for hours and have missed a spot otherwise i tan. So i dont know where i fit into the risk factors. Does anyone know the life time risk of getting cancer if you have used sunbeds and tan? i try to put me being ill as not eating properly and not drinking enough fluids and maybe anxiety. I may have anxiety but i do try to rationalise everything but anxiety demon creeps in x

---------- Post added at 00:10 ---------- Previous post was at 00:09 ----------

Measured** sorry x

[CaliSurfGirl89]

Eurghhhh ofc now im poorly, headaches, blurred vision, my breasts, armpits and shoulders hurt, bad stomach pain, and pain in back in, bruising easy, had bloods and my vein popped which has never happened before, im light headed and have nausea, feel really warm and so much more, and i know its probs anxiety that has made me this ill as ive felt like this since the 19th, but ofc my little cancer demon keeps saying its melanoma thats spread. And i do from my heart apologise to people who have/had cancer or know someone who does but ive lost 4 people i loved to cancer so i just have this constant fear xx

[bingjam]

if your doctors have given you the all clear... and your still worrying about it, what do you think its going to take for that fear to go??

I know exactly what your going through, im always going through melonoma fear stages, look back at my posts....

I have one on my breast thats a weird shape, multiple colours but its always been like that and yey I still worry about it,

why dont you think of having it removed just to make you feel a bit carmer about it all??

[CaliSurfGirl89]

nice to have someone with same fear as me :) not that im happy we have this fear, if you read my earlier posts it should say i have a fear of misdiagnosis cos it happened to my mom resulting in her death, i like the mole dont get me wrong, i think having it removed may cause in disfigurement on my breast. If derm says its fine ill keep it but if it has to go it has to go. Bingjam do u worry about all ur moles like u might be over looking something lol xx

[bingjam]

ahhh right now I understand wht your worried about mis diagnosis, sorry for the loss of you mum..

I like my mole to I think it looks really pretty and with mine also being on my breast juat by my right nipple I think having it removed would make my boobs look different.

I do worry about moles but only the one on my breast really the other ones which I have a lot of don't really bother me too much

[CaliSurfGirl89]

Ive just noticed a weird light browm mark under my eye (under thw sensitive bit) trying to tell my self its a freckle but its the biggest 1 i have and i only noticed today so also hoping i may have just hurt it cos its that faint i cant tell if its pink or brown. And thanks hun xx

[bingjam]

could that be sun damage?? not sure how old tou are but my face is really sensitive to the sun and have some some damage on my cheek bones. they are really light brown marks

[CaliSurfGirl89]

Im 25, but having a proper freak out, about 5 months ago i noticed what looked like a blood blister (tiny but also looked like a tiny mole) me being me picked it out and now i had what looked like a pimple, i think something came out but the hole is the same size as the thing i originally picked out, anxiety is a b**ch isnt it :( x