Muddy1
23-06-14, 00:14
I'm at a loss and can't really find anyone that may have the same condition. I have a constant fear of suicide and think about it constantly. I want to clarify that I DO NOT want to commit suicide, but the thought of it is always in my mind and scares the hell out of me. It seems like I'm always thinking about terrible things happening and obsess over suicide. This has been going on for at least two years and the obsession and thoughts just don't go away. I then start thinking to myself, "well what if I loose it one day and the thoughts take control and there's nothing I can do". I know these are intrusive thoughts and not what I want to happen/commit, but it wears me out mentally and physically as it causes me constant anxiety which flows into panic attacks. I want to do whatever I can to get better and be back to my normal self. The two meds that worked best for me in the past were Celexa and Cymbalta. I had to switch off of the Cymbalta a year and a half ago because it seemed to have quit working as well(was on it for 7 years). My pdoc then moved me to Prozac(60mg) and Wellbutrin. Just recently went off the Wellbutrin for Abilify(2mg). The Abilify has seemed to make my anxiety worse and I also have horrible akathisia on it. I'm wanting to start with something new all together. Anyhow, my main goal with this post was to see if anyone else out there has this "Suicide Phobia" or an obsession with it and how they were treated or being treated. Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.