Blondiexxoo
24-06-14, 07:15
Hey everyone, I'm new here.
I have really bad anxiety. I'm on Zoloft 25mg. I've been on that for a year now. I used to be on Zoloft 50mg but it was sending my thyroid all out of wack, in addition to causing personality changes. Plus I was building a tolerance to it, it wasn't helping as much. It had been about 3-4 years. I would start fights with friends and think it was funny until I pushed them away. When I get upset, I would sometimes stand there and scream at the top of my lungs. Also, my doctor claimed the Zoloft was having no effect on my thyroid. One month on the 25mg and the blood result values were cut in half. About a year on it and they were completely normal. In addition, it's too much of an amount for my thin body. One time I tried to change the time I was taking it from 11 to 10:30. I had diarrhea. Same thing the next day. Diarrhea. Then the next day I took it at 11 as normal. No diarrhea. I had been on it several years at this point so it wasn't a side effect or anything. I don't EVER wanna go on the 50mg again but yet my doctor was forcing 75mg down my throat along with some Xanax.
Anyway, when I went down a year ago, I had really bad withdrawal. And I lost a lot of weight. I used to be 120-125 and I went down to 112. I didn't look as good but I didn't look underweight or really bad. The anxiety at this time was controlled because I was living in an apartment at school and I had to walk 15 minutes to campus (often running late) and 15 minutes back. I was riding in other people's cars, even a stranger's car. This guy who lived at my apartment complex. Bad idea, I know but I had a test that day and I would have missed it. I would go to bed late (4-5am, I've been on this schedule for too long) and wake up at 9:30am to quickly eat breakfast and walk to class. I ate lunch on campus, bought a snack to take with me, and ate it when I got back. I took about a 2 hour nap and then had dinner. I didn't have roommates either. I was very relaxed. Classes were every day so I never slept all day.
Next semester (January-May) I commuted from home (45 mins) and I had severe anxiety. I would feel like I needed to run out of class. I never did but it was so incredibly hard to stay calm. And some people would pick up on it and stare. I only took 2 classes, a 9:00am and a 3:00pm but the majority of the time the 9:00am was cancelled and when it wasn't, I usually came home to sleep and would come back. Classes were 3 days a week and on days that I didn't have class (T,R,S,S) I would sleep all day. Wake up at 4 and eat breakfast and have dinner a couple hours later. Basically have 2 meals a day. I went from 112 to 105. I looked awful. Very emaciated.
The summer has been a struggle since I have no friends and don't get to socialize with anyone my own age. I go to bed around 5 and sleep all day most days. I even go back for an extra nap after waking up somewhere between 1-4. For about 3 weeks, I forced myself to eat 3 meals even if I slept late and had to eat breakfast at 4, lunch at 6:30, and dinner at 10. I went up to 110, gained 5 pounds. I looked SOOOO much better.
But for about a week now, I have been extremely anxious. All my hard work is gone. I'm about 107 now. I'm barely eating anything. I've completely lost my appetite. Food just doesn't sound good to me, except fruit, bread, and pasta. It started around the time I got a refill on my prescription (which I'm always anxious about). It's a 50mg pill but I break it in half. It says the same writing on both sides, same color, everything. But I'm still rethinking it. I can barely eat and I'm worried I'm going to end up in the hospital or something from barely eating. Here's what I had today compared with a week ago before all this happened.
Today:
Breakfast-
2 pieces of plain toast
Snack-
Banana
Lunch-
Chicken noodle soup without the chicken
Dinner-
A little bit of a baked potato with some cheese and butter (not a lot)
A little bit of orange juice
And I'm going to be having some strawberries in about an hour or so.
Diet from a week ago:
Breakfast-
2 eggos with butter and syrup
Honey Nut Cheerios plain, no milk but a bowl full
A banana
Orange juice
Lunch-
Pasta lean cuisine
About 25 cashews
Snack-
Half a Rice Krispie's Treat (would have had a full one, I think it had a spot on it)
Dinner-
Piece of garlic toast
Pasta
Peas
Bowl of strawberries and an apple
As you can see, it's quite a difference. I don't feel like eating. It just doesn't sound appetizing to me. Maybe cause I feel nauseous and my stomach is in knots. But I already have a fear of food cause I'm scared of throwing up and my fear of food has gotten way worse obviously. I'm not sure what to do. I want to exercise but I can't exercise with a poor diet, I'll pass out. Any suggestions? I can't take this anxiety anymore :'(
I'm not going back up to 50mg and I'm definitely not trying another medication. I'm not taking any more of these. I don't like the side effects. I'm not going to keep on until I find one that works for me. I don't want it. I was SO happy and more like myself when I went down to the 25mg. I'm not losing that again.
---------- Post added at 23:59 ---------- Previous post was at 23:43 ----------
ALSO:
I know this is going to sound weird but if the medicine is the same color and has the same writing on both sides as it normally does, it's not possible that it could be a placebo or another medication is it? I can't explain it but I just don't feel as calm as I normally do. Even right after I take it. I still don't feel very calm. And my stomach/butt area feels upset. Kinda similar to when I had withdrawals from the 50mg.
---------- Post added at 02:15 ---------- Previous post was at 00:59 ----------
And another thing it is also taking me forever to eat and I'm having to nibble and take little bites. Whereas before I was eating at normal speed. I was also having hotdogs, sandwiches, tacos, heavy portions, etc. Is it possible the medicine had been sitting in the pharmacy a while and expired? Or maybe the manufacturer accidentally left out an ingredient or something?
Because shortly after I take it, there's a calmness that comes over me and I'm calm throughout the day. I'm just not feeling it. Even right after I take it, I still can't really eat.
I have really bad anxiety. I'm on Zoloft 25mg. I've been on that for a year now. I used to be on Zoloft 50mg but it was sending my thyroid all out of wack, in addition to causing personality changes. Plus I was building a tolerance to it, it wasn't helping as much. It had been about 3-4 years. I would start fights with friends and think it was funny until I pushed them away. When I get upset, I would sometimes stand there and scream at the top of my lungs. Also, my doctor claimed the Zoloft was having no effect on my thyroid. One month on the 25mg and the blood result values were cut in half. About a year on it and they were completely normal. In addition, it's too much of an amount for my thin body. One time I tried to change the time I was taking it from 11 to 10:30. I had diarrhea. Same thing the next day. Diarrhea. Then the next day I took it at 11 as normal. No diarrhea. I had been on it several years at this point so it wasn't a side effect or anything. I don't EVER wanna go on the 50mg again but yet my doctor was forcing 75mg down my throat along with some Xanax.
Anyway, when I went down a year ago, I had really bad withdrawal. And I lost a lot of weight. I used to be 120-125 and I went down to 112. I didn't look as good but I didn't look underweight or really bad. The anxiety at this time was controlled because I was living in an apartment at school and I had to walk 15 minutes to campus (often running late) and 15 minutes back. I was riding in other people's cars, even a stranger's car. This guy who lived at my apartment complex. Bad idea, I know but I had a test that day and I would have missed it. I would go to bed late (4-5am, I've been on this schedule for too long) and wake up at 9:30am to quickly eat breakfast and walk to class. I ate lunch on campus, bought a snack to take with me, and ate it when I got back. I took about a 2 hour nap and then had dinner. I didn't have roommates either. I was very relaxed. Classes were every day so I never slept all day.
Next semester (January-May) I commuted from home (45 mins) and I had severe anxiety. I would feel like I needed to run out of class. I never did but it was so incredibly hard to stay calm. And some people would pick up on it and stare. I only took 2 classes, a 9:00am and a 3:00pm but the majority of the time the 9:00am was cancelled and when it wasn't, I usually came home to sleep and would come back. Classes were 3 days a week and on days that I didn't have class (T,R,S,S) I would sleep all day. Wake up at 4 and eat breakfast and have dinner a couple hours later. Basically have 2 meals a day. I went from 112 to 105. I looked awful. Very emaciated.
The summer has been a struggle since I have no friends and don't get to socialize with anyone my own age. I go to bed around 5 and sleep all day most days. I even go back for an extra nap after waking up somewhere between 1-4. For about 3 weeks, I forced myself to eat 3 meals even if I slept late and had to eat breakfast at 4, lunch at 6:30, and dinner at 10. I went up to 110, gained 5 pounds. I looked SOOOO much better.
But for about a week now, I have been extremely anxious. All my hard work is gone. I'm about 107 now. I'm barely eating anything. I've completely lost my appetite. Food just doesn't sound good to me, except fruit, bread, and pasta. It started around the time I got a refill on my prescription (which I'm always anxious about). It's a 50mg pill but I break it in half. It says the same writing on both sides, same color, everything. But I'm still rethinking it. I can barely eat and I'm worried I'm going to end up in the hospital or something from barely eating. Here's what I had today compared with a week ago before all this happened.
Today:
Breakfast-
2 pieces of plain toast
Snack-
Banana
Lunch-
Chicken noodle soup without the chicken
Dinner-
A little bit of a baked potato with some cheese and butter (not a lot)
A little bit of orange juice
And I'm going to be having some strawberries in about an hour or so.
Diet from a week ago:
Breakfast-
2 eggos with butter and syrup
Honey Nut Cheerios plain, no milk but a bowl full
A banana
Orange juice
Lunch-
Pasta lean cuisine
About 25 cashews
Snack-
Half a Rice Krispie's Treat (would have had a full one, I think it had a spot on it)
Dinner-
Piece of garlic toast
Pasta
Peas
Bowl of strawberries and an apple
As you can see, it's quite a difference. I don't feel like eating. It just doesn't sound appetizing to me. Maybe cause I feel nauseous and my stomach is in knots. But I already have a fear of food cause I'm scared of throwing up and my fear of food has gotten way worse obviously. I'm not sure what to do. I want to exercise but I can't exercise with a poor diet, I'll pass out. Any suggestions? I can't take this anxiety anymore :'(
I'm not going back up to 50mg and I'm definitely not trying another medication. I'm not taking any more of these. I don't like the side effects. I'm not going to keep on until I find one that works for me. I don't want it. I was SO happy and more like myself when I went down to the 25mg. I'm not losing that again.
---------- Post added at 23:59 ---------- Previous post was at 23:43 ----------
ALSO:
I know this is going to sound weird but if the medicine is the same color and has the same writing on both sides as it normally does, it's not possible that it could be a placebo or another medication is it? I can't explain it but I just don't feel as calm as I normally do. Even right after I take it. I still don't feel very calm. And my stomach/butt area feels upset. Kinda similar to when I had withdrawals from the 50mg.
---------- Post added at 02:15 ---------- Previous post was at 00:59 ----------
And another thing it is also taking me forever to eat and I'm having to nibble and take little bites. Whereas before I was eating at normal speed. I was also having hotdogs, sandwiches, tacos, heavy portions, etc. Is it possible the medicine had been sitting in the pharmacy a while and expired? Or maybe the manufacturer accidentally left out an ingredient or something?
Because shortly after I take it, there's a calmness that comes over me and I'm calm throughout the day. I'm just not feeling it. Even right after I take it, I still can't really eat.