PDA

View Full Version : My Symptoms



Elle__4
24-06-14, 09:47
This is how my anxiety affects me.

Feel like I have pulled muscles and my body aches despite being slim, healthy and active. Lately it feels like someone has been squeezing my arms until they've 'gone dead'. I feel heavy and lethargic.

I'm always conscious of my breathing and needing to control it

I find my speech is becoming affected. My throat feels strained. It's sometimes difficult to talk, my voice changes and I am developing a slight stutter. I can't sing a note as my throat tightens.

I spontaneously begin sweating profusely when someone talks to me and it won't stop until I go somewhere freezing cold. The sweat literally drips from my chin in a rivulet and my hair and clothing become saturated to the point it looks like I have been in water.

I can become very hyper and manic when put in a situation where I have to 'perform' eg - social / public / work situations.

I'm increasingly feeling nauseous

I feel mentally 'slow' and fins it hard to follow instruction or take in information sometimes.

Short term memory is affected. I forget things generally and forget what I am saying mid sentence. I misplace things

I feel stupid, humiliated, embarrassed, ashamed, different, abnormal, lost, lazy, paranoid and frustrated.

I feel like I act to be myself! In other words, I DO love working and I love people and being active but I can't seem to feel ok doing those things! I have to act and force myself to do the things I think I naturally like to do.. or something!! That ones for the Psychologist I think! I really don't know who I am anymore or what I naturally enjoy or what I make myself enjoy!

I feel heavy and sluggish
I often feel like I simply can't be bothered to act, talk or think. I just go numb and shut down and sit looking around or staring through the TV or I find something very light to do on the computer - like this.

Waves of what I can only describe as Narclepsy come over me - where I feel an uncontrollable urge to sleep. it comes totally out of the blue. I literally fall asleep for a few minutes to half an hour, then I wake and am able to carry on what I was doing.

Concentration is often shocking. If I HAVE to concentrate - such as in company or at work or on a driving lesson, it leaves me mentally exhausted either during or after. This can result in being hyper, sleeping, feeling depressed, becoming frustrated or being tearful.

Eating faster, talking faster, walking faster, can't sit still for more than a few minutes, snacking more, writing faster, working faster.

Sleeping for only a few hours at a time. Sleeping lightly. More aware of dreams

Organising obsessively

Depersonalisation. Inability to process my surroundings or actions

Over-analyse everything I do and say

Becoming reclusive, agoraphobic and quiet whenever possible

I've always had a phobia of knocks at my door, unexpected visitors and guests in my house.

If I stay in the house I feel like I desperately need to wee every 15 minutes or so!

Shying away from friendships and conversations even though I am naturally friendly, positive, bubbly, smiley, approachable, popular, outgoing, confident and chatty.

Talking so much and so fast that I lose control and can't stop. I end up saying embarrassing things or get tearful or angry with myself.

Racing thoughts

Frustration and anger is increasing.

Heart races and I get chest pains

Finding it harder to hide my feelings in public. Before I have always been EXTREMELY good at putting on a mask.

Telling more people I have anxiety - especially when I can't hide symptoms

Not suicidal but really looking forward to life ending. I'm not generally depressed either, I'm simply bored of life. It's never been enjoyable and even if it had it's all pointless isn't it?. We all die so what do we need photographs and experiences and friendships for? I can't help looking at the bigger picture. This side of me is too deep to go into here.

I think that's it! The Psychologist that I am being referred to is going to be busy isn't he/she?!

raggamuffin
24-06-14, 12:47
I can safely say i've had every single one of those symptoms a great many times over the past 4 years and many more besides. The psychologist will have heard such issues before. Some people get affected by a few issues and symptoms and other people a great many. Dealing with anxiety remains the same. Reducing stress, unlearning unhelpful and overly emotive methods of thinking and perceiving stress.

It takes time and dedication but you will be able to reign in the anxiety and get things under control in time.

Ed

Elle__4
24-06-14, 19:05
Thanks Ed, It's reassuring to know I'm not imagining or exaggerating all these things that I was sure were / are happening to me. This might seem strange seeing as I work within mental health and healthcare and deal with people suffering anxiety on a daily basis - it's just that I didn't recognise that my own symptoms went beyond what I had self diagnosed! That probably makes no sense, sorry:blush:

If you don't mind me asking, what other thoughts, feelings, physical symptoms have you personally experienced?

That question extends to anyone else who fancies sharing..

trish1955
24-06-14, 21:27
Aye did you write this post or was it me lol XXX

Elle__4
24-06-14, 21:57
Ah Trish.. I'm glad but sad that I'm not alone! I honestly can't believe how much of me belongs to anxiety! When the Psychologist takes away all the symptoms caused by anxiety, I wonder who will be left! I AM anxiety! Every part of my personality is due to the stress and adrenaline I've always lived hand in hand with! Strange to finally realise this!