Looking back

[Gemmal]

Just thinking about years back when I was " normal " and anxiety free !

I went to the doctor as I wasn't feeling well and there was a student in with her .

She felt my glands and went " woooahhh feel these " to the student , bloods were taken and I had a physical examination .

I came out of that room as cool as a cucumber , I didn't bat an eyelid and didn't even bother phoning up for my results !! I put all my trust in the gp as she was right , I recovered within a week !

I miss that girl , I really don't think I will ever be her again.

Two and a half years I'm still obsessed with lymphoma and crying almost everyday , it's my Bday on thu and I don't even feel like celebrating

Sorry guys just having a bad night ! :(

[RoseEve]

It will get better. I know that's hard to believe but it's true.

[mgw]

Stay positive! I have experienced the same feelings as you an it's such a claustrophobic feeling. I really do feel for you!
I went from being unable to get out of bed scared of everything crying never feeling normal to me now! I'm able to do pretty much anything I actually feel like me, something I never felt was possible! Cbt and ssris helped me.
Don't ever think anxiety will always control you! Stay positive and count every small step you make regardless of any steps back!
Positive thoughts xx

[Munchlet]

I can totally relate to what you are saying and it's horrible. I long for the days when I just used to go to the doctors accept every word they said and walk out not giving it another thought.

I really hate this HA, at the minute mine is so bad my husband isn't even speaking to me, it's a horrible, lonely disease and I wish it were as simple as to just "not worry about it" or "why worry about things you have no control over".

Sending you hugs and I hope you manage to enjoy your birthday :hugs:

[bluetopazgirl]

I can totally relate! Infact I could of wrote this myself! I used to have 100% trust In doctors, but thanks to google there's always doubt. I come away believing and within a few days im back to square one. Its odd because i trust what they say about my children and husband completely but when it comes to me its a different story.i just wish it would end! Hugs xx

[Gemmal]

Thanks for the lovely replies guys ! It's comforting to know I'm not the only one !

I can't believe I still think I'm going to be diagnosed with lymphoma and if I do the chances won't be good for me

I'm so mad at myself because last summer I said to myself " Gemma if you are still here next June on your birthday and haven't been diagnosed then you need to get a grip " and here I am one year later saying the same thing about next year !!

[bluetopazgirl]

Gemma, I've just done a thread about lymphoma. I hope it can ease your mind as It has mine (even if it's for a few days LOL). :D

[Gemmal]

Thank you thank you ! Just commented on your post