Anyone awake? I'm scared

[noideawhy]

Hello, I think I'm suffering from Health Anxiety and its ruining my life. Its been going on for a few months since I had unprotected sex and convinced myself I had HIV. I don't, but that didn't stop me from thinking that the man who tested me had given me it.
I now worry about my lymph nodes, I have two tangible ones in my neck which have kept me awake for a week now. I got them seen by a haematologist today who said they were small and not a concern and reluctantly took blood tests on my insistence. I now think I'm coughing because of lymph nodes in my chest even though my cough has only just come back tonight after a 2 week gap. I don't really know how to deal with this. I am a nineteen year old male who has never even thought about my health before this. I'm almost convinced I will die tonight or soon even though my gp and this specialist has no concern.

[RoseEve]

I'm awake. Getting hiv from one time is highly unlikely. Were you tested?

[noideawhy]

Yeah, and I know I don't have it. That was just an example of how irrational my thought process is becoming. I don't know how to cope with the fear though, I can't sleep and that makes everything worse.

[RoseEve]

Hiv has been circling my mind lately as well. I was tested but I still wonder. Hiv seems to be a hot spot for us HA suffers.

[noideawhy]

The HIV thing was just my trigger, I know I can't have it because I tested negative and so did the girl I slept with. Its this fear of lymphoma that is causing me trouble now. Even though the doctor and consultant said there was no concern I can't help but feel like they knew it was too early to tell and want me to wait and see if they get worse but wouldn't say that because they know I would panic.
EDIT: reading that I realise how conspiratorial I sound but that is just the way I am thinking at the moment.

[RoseEve]

I read your post too quickly. I've had HA for years and I know that if I let go and accept I don't have one disease I dream up another. It's hard. It's a vicious cycle. It takes time but with hard work you can change your thought process.