sobbing and scared

[trish1955]

Another day sobbing on off for weeks I no every one thinks its down to loosing my fi e month old grandson whom I only mett twice do to my sons girl friend not speaking to me but week before he died we made up and she brought him To see me this seem to be OK a week later the little man WS dead yes I m heartbroken and verey sad as my son his in bit to and I can't help him but now I am coming g to the selfish bit I am crying because i am unhappy with my life to i am in a state of constant fear there is something wrong with me and I am going g to die this fear as been with me forty years but since Feb and the day I ended up in a&e they checked my blood pressure my heart took my blood did so e balance test and such I was fine and sent me home but the reason I went I had a sensation in my legs they felt cold and sore inside well for past week the feeling are here again and I keep tdyi g not to let my self go into full blown panic like I did that day I was so scared that day they took me to a&e I had panicked for three hours begged my son to take me to hospital I WS so afraid and I donT seem to have come back from it I am under alot of stress and if I am honest I have been for a good two years with my youngest daughter just got Her sorted bang and then its somthing elses that's 's how its been for past 14yrs since my dad died its just one thing after another like I sy suufed forty years but it WS able to cope a little now I am a mess
don't go past my garden I an so unhappy got pins and needles in my arm today scaring me
sorry about long post just needed some one To talk to xxxxxxhznkx

[Serenity1990]

Sounds like you've been through a difficult time, with a heap of depression and anxiety chucked in for good measure. Have you spoken to your doctor?

[edwardthebear]

You have been through an awful lot. The death of a child that is close to you is the most devastating thing imaginable, it is little wonder that you are feeling so bad. Trauma like this make can make a persons anxiety rocket sky high. The good news is that the medical tests have ruled out anything sinister. Hang on in there for your Sons sake as well as your own, I know it is difficult though. Take care.

[trish1955]

Thanks for your replies I just sat thinking about pressure I am under your right I got funeral Thursday were they cremating him and Bury is ashes Friday bearig in mind I am agoraphobic I had to go to docs on Thursday just got in car three min drive my son took me I ran in got bloods and ran out back in car I have an oppintment. With phyicitist on Friday morning as well which is a thirty min drive my son will take me but it going to be so hard I no he is he one that orderds the blood test as he talk in medication hope he got one side effect free I dare not take meds. Then they lookin at CBT all ready tried it so why. I was thin,king about exposure therapy when your fear is death how can they exspose you to this I mean I have seem my dad when he WS dead my grandma my uncle my friends five month old baby that was twenty odd years ago the baby one now facing that again you no I feel like the people around me my kids six of them my hubby sister brothers are all carrying on and I feel lost and alone and stuck xxxsorry about another long post x