debs71
28-06-14, 13:12
Hi,
I can only start by saying I am so fed up, pissed off and every other similar word under the sun.
I have suffered from GAD, depression and panic since 2004, on and off, mostly off recently. For the first time in a long time, I felt good. My anxiety was under control, I am working for myself happily (albeit not as financially stable) having left Nursing 5 years ago. Life was ok.
I have had a lot of physical health issues since leaving Nursing. Polycystic ovaries, menstrual issues, a uterine polyp that was removed last year, IBS and the list goes on. Each time I have been really anxious, but got through them.
I am now faced with another, and I am struggling and so demoralised with having SOMETHING ELSE wrong. I am so tired of moving 5 paces forwards, only to be knocked back by something else. I feel sometimes that I am destined never to get myself on a stable track.
After my IBS being really bad over the past 2 years or so, I started a gluten free diet in March. At first all was good - no more bowel pain, I felt energised...all good. I overhauled my entire diet.
Then shortly afterwards I discovered a lump in my neck. I thought it was a strained muscle as I had pain with it. After it not settling, I saw my GP. He said it was an enlarged thyroid, possibly a nodule on my thyroid. He made an urgent referral and I had to have a blood test and ultrasound scan. I feel strongly that my thyroid trouble is directly related to my change in diet.
This sent my anxiety through the roof.
I had the scan last week. It is a benign thyroid cyst, 3cm in size.
I thought 'fine'. Before the scan, the lump had actually gotten smaller on its own, after I came off gluten free and ate normally again. This encouraged me, as I thought they would either decide to just observe it or aspirate it with a needle.
On Thursday I saw the Consultant again. He said that surgery was the treatment. This sent me through the roof again. The lump is benign, has shrunk, is not symptomatic, my thyroid tests are NORMAL and they want to cut me open. I don't understand it at all, as I do not fit the criteria for surgical removal, and I am well aware that surgery can damage my thyroid levels.
The Consultant actually laughed and joked that 'nurses make the worse patients'.....I felt like punching his teeth out. It is not his bloody thyroid.
I told the doctor that surgery was not an option. I dug my heels in. He told me that they are referring me to a more experienced surgeon for thyroid issues who I can 'discuss all the options with'. I know there ARE other options for thyroid nodules, but typical NHS quick fix is all they are offering. I am petrified of the thought of surgery.
I am so fed up today. I am so tired of anything health related. I spent 11 years working in health, and now I still can't escape it and all the shit that comes with it. I sometimes wonder why I carry on, only to be knocked on my arse again.
I am sorry if this sounds sorry for myself and moany. I am just tired of myself. :sad:
I can only start by saying I am so fed up, pissed off and every other similar word under the sun.
I have suffered from GAD, depression and panic since 2004, on and off, mostly off recently. For the first time in a long time, I felt good. My anxiety was under control, I am working for myself happily (albeit not as financially stable) having left Nursing 5 years ago. Life was ok.
I have had a lot of physical health issues since leaving Nursing. Polycystic ovaries, menstrual issues, a uterine polyp that was removed last year, IBS and the list goes on. Each time I have been really anxious, but got through them.
I am now faced with another, and I am struggling and so demoralised with having SOMETHING ELSE wrong. I am so tired of moving 5 paces forwards, only to be knocked back by something else. I feel sometimes that I am destined never to get myself on a stable track.
After my IBS being really bad over the past 2 years or so, I started a gluten free diet in March. At first all was good - no more bowel pain, I felt energised...all good. I overhauled my entire diet.
Then shortly afterwards I discovered a lump in my neck. I thought it was a strained muscle as I had pain with it. After it not settling, I saw my GP. He said it was an enlarged thyroid, possibly a nodule on my thyroid. He made an urgent referral and I had to have a blood test and ultrasound scan. I feel strongly that my thyroid trouble is directly related to my change in diet.
This sent my anxiety through the roof.
I had the scan last week. It is a benign thyroid cyst, 3cm in size.
I thought 'fine'. Before the scan, the lump had actually gotten smaller on its own, after I came off gluten free and ate normally again. This encouraged me, as I thought they would either decide to just observe it or aspirate it with a needle.
On Thursday I saw the Consultant again. He said that surgery was the treatment. This sent me through the roof again. The lump is benign, has shrunk, is not symptomatic, my thyroid tests are NORMAL and they want to cut me open. I don't understand it at all, as I do not fit the criteria for surgical removal, and I am well aware that surgery can damage my thyroid levels.
The Consultant actually laughed and joked that 'nurses make the worse patients'.....I felt like punching his teeth out. It is not his bloody thyroid.
I told the doctor that surgery was not an option. I dug my heels in. He told me that they are referring me to a more experienced surgeon for thyroid issues who I can 'discuss all the options with'. I know there ARE other options for thyroid nodules, but typical NHS quick fix is all they are offering. I am petrified of the thought of surgery.
I am so fed up today. I am so tired of anything health related. I spent 11 years working in health, and now I still can't escape it and all the shit that comes with it. I sometimes wonder why I carry on, only to be knocked on my arse again.
I am sorry if this sounds sorry for myself and moany. I am just tired of myself. :sad: