Health anxiety/thryoid problem (Sorry,it's long and could disturb HA sufferers))

[debs71]

Hi,

I can only start by saying I am so fed up, pissed off and every other similar word under the sun.

I have suffered from GAD, depression and panic since 2004, on and off, mostly off recently. For the first time in a long time, I felt good. My anxiety was under control, I am working for myself happily (albeit not as financially stable) having left Nursing 5 years ago. Life was ok.

I have had a lot of physical health issues since leaving Nursing. Polycystic ovaries, menstrual issues, a uterine polyp that was removed last year, IBS and the list goes on. Each time I have been really anxious, but got through them.

I am now faced with another, and I am struggling and so demoralised with having SOMETHING ELSE wrong. I am so tired of moving 5 paces forwards, only to be knocked back by something else. I feel sometimes that I am destined never to get myself on a stable track.

After my IBS being really bad over the past 2 years or so, I started a gluten free diet in March. At first all was good - no more bowel pain, I felt energised...all good. I overhauled my entire diet.

Then shortly afterwards I discovered a lump in my neck. I thought it was a strained muscle as I had pain with it. After it not settling, I saw my GP. He said it was an enlarged thyroid, possibly a nodule on my thyroid. He made an urgent referral and I had to have a blood test and ultrasound scan. I feel strongly that my thyroid trouble is directly related to my change in diet.

This sent my anxiety through the roof.

I had the scan last week. It is a benign thyroid cyst, 3cm in size.

I thought 'fine'. Before the scan, the lump had actually gotten smaller on its own, after I came off gluten free and ate normally again. This encouraged me, as I thought they would either decide to just observe it or aspirate it with a needle.

On Thursday I saw the Consultant again. He said that surgery was the treatment. This sent me through the roof again. The lump is benign, has shrunk, is not symptomatic, my thyroid tests are NORMAL and they want to cut me open. I don't understand it at all, as I do not fit the criteria for surgical removal, and I am well aware that surgery can damage my thyroid levels.

The Consultant actually laughed and joked that 'nurses make the worse patients'.....I felt like punching his teeth out. It is not his bloody thyroid.

I told the doctor that surgery was not an option. I dug my heels in. He told me that they are referring me to a more experienced surgeon for thyroid issues who I can 'discuss all the options with'. I know there ARE other options for thyroid nodules, but typical NHS quick fix is all they are offering. I am petrified of the thought of surgery.

I am so fed up today. I am so tired of anything health related. I spent 11 years working in health, and now I still can't escape it and all the shit that comes with it. I sometimes wonder why I carry on, only to be knocked on my arse again.

I am sorry if this sounds sorry for myself and moany. I am just tired of myself. :sad:

[nomorepanic]

Hi Debs

Good to see you back but sorry it is under these circumstances.

I know how you feel as 6 years ago when I had the crohn's flareup and had the abscesses on my bowel I was told by Bedford hospital that the only option was surgery to have a colostomy bag fitted and of course this meant general anesthetic only 6 months after the heart attack which I didn't want.

I paid to see my crohn's consultant who works at Addenbrookes hospital for a second opinion and he said that was far too drastic and he would give me medication.

The medication saved me having the colostomy bag.

So my point is that I would dig your heels in and get what you want from this and not what they say you should do

[debs71]

Hi Nic,

I hope u are ok. Yep, it's been a while since I was around! ;)

Thanks so much for your reply. It feels instantly good to know I am not alone.

I think the problem is that I know oh so well how the NHS operates. I know that they do not offer wider, more diverse options, only the 'if in doubt, cut it out' crap.

I am so glad and relieved for you that you didn't accept this.

I had a similar thing last year with my uterine polyp. The NHS only offered me removal of it under general anaesthetic. They also informed me I had a fibroid as well as the polyp and this was 'the only option'.

I refused, researched it and found a private gynae consultant who could remove both under local. I went with her and was in an out in 1 HOUR.

It then transpired that I DID NOT have any fibroid at all!!!!!!!!

I am so sick of the NHS.

Thanks again Nic.xx:hugs:

[Serenity1990]

Interesting this is in he HA section, as paradoxically you do actually have a health issue but you're not worried about it!

I hope you get things sorted. Out of curiosity why are you against surgery? I think it would be my preferred option!

[debs71]

Interesting this is in he HA section, as paradoxically you do actually have a health issue but you're not worried about it!

I hope you get things sorted. Out of curiosity why are you against surgery? I think it would be my preferred option!


Hi,

I dithered about where to post this. The reason I posted here is because I very much AM worried about it, in terms of how I can proceed treatment wise, and that if I choose not to accept surgery, what my options will be. Despite being told it is benign, it is still a lump in my neck and I am concerned. I posted in HA to demonstrate that it is not just HA sufferers without a diagnosis who worry, it is those who do have one too. I am not sure where in my post I said I was 'not worried about it' either?

I am phobic about anaesthesia. That is my reason. This will be irrational to most when I worked as a nurse for years, but my experiences in health have deeply affected me. I quit due to my anxiety levels. It would take too long to explain.

Besides that, I feel strongly (having researched this for weeks on end) that surgery is not the only answer, and I do not feel I should be compelled to accept it. There are other treatments that have not been offered to me. My thyroid itself is totally normal, so why would I say to a doctor, yep, cut part of it out? That is madness.

It may be your preferred option. Not mine.

Hope this answers your question.