HIV fear - scared to get tested :(

[Katie_cupcakes]

I did something stupid and spent the night with this guy about 8 weeks ago.

3 days after being with him I had a really severe night sweat and then from that point on I had loads of awful symptoms and felt really ill. My tongue was coated yellow (still is) I had a really dry mouth, pain in leg muscles, knees (my knee bruised), ribs, back, arms, really bad stomach pains, no appetite and feeling sick a lot, lost a stone in weight and pale nail beds (still got this too) as well as night sweats almost every night for 2-3 weeks. I then had a couple of canker sores on my bottom lip a few weeks later and a slight sore throat.

I was in and out of the dr's loads and all my tests came back normal. I have been feeling fine for about the last 4 weeks, but now it just occured to me that it might be HIV - they didn't test for this.

I know I need to go get tested but im so scared of getting a positive result. All the symptoms point to HIV. Im just so sure it is. I have never had night sweats before, or bruising painful joints..

Aww man I'm just kicking myself for being such an idiot.

[debs71]

Hi Katie,

Firstly, HIV takes a number of weeks to exhibit flu-like symptoms, around a month I think is the ballpark figure, so 3 days would be be implausible really, so worry not about that side. It sounds more likely that you just had a standard viral illness, which can make you feel crappy as you did.

Try not to be ultra hard on yourself. Many people make foolish mistakes and decisions like yours, me being one, and I should DEFINITELY know better having worked in healthcare.

HIV is a lot harder to contract than one thinks, though of course it is always a possibility and risk, but the question you need to kind of ask yourself is would I rather KNOW and take that pressure off of my mind/get treated (I still think your chances are slim), or would I rather worry myself sick and not do anything at all?

I have had two HIV tests. One was offered to be as a non-compulsory test when I was nursing, and had to have all of my innoculations and blood tests, and the other was when I stupidly put myself at risk. Both times I was petrified even though I knew my chances were very slim, having only had 2 sexual partners ever, but all was ok.

Try if you can to summon the courage to do so. You will feel so much better when you get a good result. x:hugs:

[Jabberwoxx]

Debs is correct :) even though I know it's difficult, you could present yourself in your head two scenarios. One is do nothing, worry, and the illness gets worse and worse and could get to a serious point. Two is get tested and get a peace of mind, or if very worst case scenario there is something quite badly wrong, you can come to terms and make arrangements where to go from there.

It's strange how us anxiety sufferers worry so much when worrying achieves positively nothing. :) It's like we want to run away from uncertain or potentially harrowing situations, when life is full of uncertainty anyway.

I don't know much about HIV so I can't offer some reassurance or guidance in addition to Debs, but I also heard that HIV is harder to contract than people think.

[Katie_cupcakes]

Thanks for those replies! Thats been really helpful and reassuring.
I worried myself sick about 4 years ago that I had HIV, I was too scared to get tested and for a whole year I was sure I had it. It was the biggest weight off my shoulders when I finally got tested and all was fine.
If I've got it, i've got it, nothing much I can do about it now. I need to be sensible and get a test done.