Work Anxiety - Advice Much Appreciated

[Danny_dingle]

Hi everyone,

Not posted for a while but struggling to help myself as I'm waiting for therapy and I am majorly stressed, just need some tips/words of advice from people who've been there.

Basically, I am finding work really hard at the minute. I'm pregnant so I'm knackered but also I feel like I am constantly in trouble. The manager has been on hol and is back now, but I have the day off so won't see her until tomorrow. I know yesterday didn't go as well as either me or her would like and I am pretty sure I am going to be in trouble when I go back in.

The thing is, I know I spent the whole of last week working my socks off and managed certain targets that I never thought I'd hit in a million years, so I was really pleased with myself. But now I know that everything that went badly yesterday will be the only thing she focuses on and it has really deflated me. She seems to be being really negative with me at the minute and is missing out all the positives/not seeing the good things I have done and it is really starting to hurt now.

I can't talk to her about it because I know she won't think she's done anything wrong, which makes it worse, and it will just make her more annoyed. I need to be able to cope with her reactions and not let them upset me but I don't know how to do this.

Please help me.

Danny

[Mrsh11]

Hi, sorry you are feeling so low. I have similar issues with stress especially at work so I can understand some of what you are going through. I also have a boss who is super critical and it is incredibly draining. The only consolation I can take, and I hope this helps you too, is that she only criticises people she thinks are worth her time. I have seen her praise colleagues to others and then reduce them to tears, sadly it's the only technique she seems to know. In terms of dealing with her reactions I'm not sure what to advise for the best. I always try to be prepared with facts and figures and try to stay positive, hope it works out x

[Danny_dingle]

That sounds like some pretty sound advice Mrsh11. I know what you mean about only criticising people if it's worthwhile, I think with mine she seems to go through the team one at a time giving everyone a hard time of it for a 1-2 month stretch, it just seems to be my time at the minute.

I also think she has personal issues about me being pregnant as she was never able to have children, so that could well be what it comes down to but it could just be that it's 'my turn'. Sad part is she knows about my depression/anxiety and thinks if I so much as frown it's because of that, not just because I'm a person and sometimes I have bad days. She calls me 'a depressive' - she doesn't seem to realise it's not who I am as a person, it's just something that affects me from time to time.

I have tried the facts thing but she seems to decide in her head why things are like they are, and you can explain them until you're blue in the face she still doesn't listen or give your explanation any credit. It can be really frustrating, especially when you know you've worked your backside off. I just hope I can take a bit more of a 'sane' viewpoint than I am at the minute - I spend whole days off crying intermittently because I'm worried what she'll pick at when I go back in, when really I know none of it really matters.