when will it end?

[ItShouldGetBetter]

Life feels over for me already..

Eighteen years old, generalized anxiety, depression and emetophobia for nearly 6 years..

I can't cope anymore. I'm not eating, sleeping..
I'm so tired. Emotionally and physically.

I need to know it will get better, my life up until now should be worth enough to merit living longer.. the rewards for beating the daily struggle should be great, but my body and mind can't take it.

I want to cry but I can't even do that.. I'm lying here, shaking.. weird feelings all inside my stomach.

I can't keep doing this every night. Six years of 'it might get better soon' has given way to 'it's not going to get better'

This is my life

And I hate it

[AnxietyDJ]

Sorry to hear you're feeling this way and have been suffering for so long... Have you actually received treatment within the six years?

Remember, there are always people out there (and on here) that are ready and willing to listen and talk... Small things like this can make a big difference.

[ItShouldGetBetter]

Thank you for replying.
I've seen so many therapists (tried to find the source of anxiety)
Also used to be on Fluoxetine but over the years been given Phenergen Elixer, propranolol, pizotfen, amitriptyline and omeprazole (for 'symptoms' of anxiety)
Not on anything anymore as the emetophobia makes me afraid of side effects

Went to my GP on the 13th who arranged a self referral to steps 2 well-being team (again)
Waiting to hear from them.

I'm very tired but I can't sleep, any ideas?

Thank you for being there for me

[AnxietyDJ]

That sucks... Sorry to hear you've had to endure all of that.

Well, I'm also awake at 2am, so my tips for sleeping are probably not the best! I am always told that perhaps reading a book or listening to something relaxing is a good idea, rather than sitting watching tv or using a computer...

Do you generally not sleep much at all, or just not at night?

[ItShouldGetBetter]

Haha I know what you mean :)

I get very lonely at night since a recent(ish) breakup so I don't get to sleep sometimes til 6/7am, which causes great anxiety and on those days I tend to sleep until late. Do you often find yourself up at 2AM?

[AnxietyDJ]

Sometimes, yes and I know what it can be like to try and break the habit of sleeping in after you stay up late... It's a vicious circle. I definitely find that I worry a lot more during the evening and night time than I do during the day, which makes it harder to sleep. I suppose because as you say it is easier to feel alone and isolated at night.

Now though I am a little better at sleeping and can force myself to get up even if I've only had a few hours sleep... If you can do that a few times, it gets easier and then something as trivial as being awake at 7am and making a cup of tea after sleeping during the night, can make you feel really good!

Keeping active during the day is always a good idea as well, and doing something productive will help make you feel better about yourself and then leads to more positive acts occurring. Also, on a basic level, if you are active during the day, you're more likely to be tired at night :)

[Sunflower2]

Hey, I can relate to how you're feeling, I'm just a few years old and have been battling with anxiety, emetophobia, ocd and now also depression for maybe 8 years too? I've never taken any medication for it so you're braver than me on that aspect! I can't tell you there's any miracle cure, I get bad days a lot, but I'm also feeling a lot happier recently because just got to let things go and stop beating yourself up for feeling like this all the time. Yeah you feel horribly anxious all the time, but if you can try enjoy a few little things, maybe a new tv series to start watching, a g

---------- Post added at 14:08 ---------- Previous post was at 14:06 ----------

Ach iPhone messing up my post!! A good book, going for a walk or having some chocolate! Do some nice things for yourself :)

[AnxietyDJ]

As you saw last night, I was online until the early hours, but I managed to force myself up at 9am this morning and have had quite a busy day and now, although I feel pretty shattered, I feel quite good with it, as contradictory as that sounds!

Hope you've had a good day... Let us know how you're getting on :)

ps. Don't get me started on the iPhone, Kimberley! :mad:

[ItShouldGetBetter]

Thank you both for replying, it's nice to see some people in a similar situation maintaining sanity ;)

I apologize wholeheartedly for my absence in replying, I had a slight personal issue which has taken my time a bit.. I hope everyone is feeling well?