View Full Version : Worried about ageing and the fact that through my youth I never had a relationship!!!
I am 26 and don't look like what I did aged 13-16, I want to look young and radiant. I want to stay youthful looking like a teen as long as possible... Is it wrong to think I could still look like a teen when I am in my late 20's???
Also I keep worrying and waking up in the night thinking I am 26 a virgin and what the hell have I been doing from the ages of 18-25??? I have never had sexual contact or a meaningful relationship!!! This cant be/isn't normal surely???
And one day when I am old and haggard I will be thinking why didn't you appreciate your youth and have beautiful intimacy when you were young and innocent!!! I have never shared my body with a special, beautiful girl...
HELP ME PLEASE??? I want my favourite girl Charlene...
Hi calumcco, I feel similar. Im 21 and have never been in a relationship. I worry I'll be alone for the rest of my life :shrug:. Some days, I feel very anxious and frustrated.
I've had a few chances before with some girls, but I messed up every time thanks to anxiety :mad: oh how I love anxiety :lac: lol
I'm critical of myself, worry I'll never be able to manage my anxiety, get over my low confidence, so I worry I'll never be in a relationship.
Personally, accepting certain things were not going to change helped me. I remember there was this girl I liked but nothing ever happened, I don't think she was interested in me and I was waaaayyy too nervous to talk to her incase I made a twonk of myself lol.
Once I started accepting things were never going to happen, after a while I stopped caring. I just try to keep positive and think "I liked her, but theres always a chance I could eventually meet someone who I get along with and like more". You never know whats round the corner in life :) Also just accepting how things are right now may help you , such as "it's not perfect but nothing in our lives is 100% perfect nowadays anyway". Thats life :doh: if you know what I mean.
The more we feel frustrated about things the worse they make us feel, I understand it can be tough to not feel anxious about it though.
Try and keep positive and believe you will be in a happy relationship eventually, it will happen :)
Sorry if I'm not much help lol
I believe that the right person will come along when the time is right, you should not have to constantly worry, when its time, its time :)
The most important things to remember are not to worry unnecessarily and that you most definitely are not the only one(s) in this situation. As Kel said, you can't force it to happen and if anything, the more you try to, the more it won't. It's sad society puts so much pressure on conformity and in particular, sexual relationships.
Have you guys ever thought about perhaps meeting people (not necessarily just women) through interest or hobby groups? Somewhere, where you can build up a mutual friendship first before moving onto anything else, all the while in an environment where you feel more comfortable. Also, if you really do want to try and meet 'the one', then what about online dating? I've tried it myself and it really takes the pressure off and allows you to do the awkward introductions online, rather than worrying about that initial stuff when you meet. You can also get to know the basics about something pretty well before even thinking about seeing them in person, which should allow for a better connection when you do eventually meet up.
I know it probably seems that everyone other than you is madly in love, insanely happy and constantly going at it like viagra'd-up rabbits, but I can sincerely assure you that it really isn't the case at all!! :)
amber2k13a
02-07-14, 00:12
Most of my anxiety has actually originated from a partner or my Mother's partner. So having a relationship is not necessarily a cure. As Kel, rightly says, the right person will come along, you want to find a special person, no point just accepting anyone.
Calum you've said before you're a virgin because of some problem you have down there - we've said before that's your responsibility to sort out and your choice if you don't. Why waste time brooding on the situation.
Hi Calumcco,
Nobody seems to have addressed the first part of your question so I will: no, you can't look like you did at 13-16 and why would you want to? You were still a child then.
If you did look that young, only very young girls would be attracted to you and I'm pretty sure that's not what you want - frankly, it would be a bit creepy if you did.
26 is young. Just enjoy being 26 - but take note: you have said more than once you are a heavy drinker. That means that as you age you are much more likely to look older than you are rather than younger. If you really want to look as young as you can for as long as you can you need to quit.
My advice is be thankful you are becoming older, A lot of people have been denied this opportunity.
My advice is be thankful you are becoming older, A lot of people have been denied this opportunity.
Where's the "Like" button!
Positive thoughts
Calum you've said before you're a virgin because of some problem you have down there - we've said before that's your responsibility to sort out and your choice if you don't. Why waste time brooding on the situation.
Its not juts that holding me back. It's much more of a mental/autism spectrum problem I believe. I simply cant talk or say much to anyone.
It's sad society puts so much pressure on conformity and in particular, sexual relationships
Yep, totally agree :)
---------- Post added at 17:58 ---------- Previous post was at 17:48 ----------
viagra'd-up rabbits
lol :roflmao:, good one ADJ
Its not juts that holding me back. It's much more of a mental/autism spectrum problem I believe. I simply cant talk or say much to anyone.
Calum, have you been officially diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorder? If you haven't then I think that you should request a referral from your GP for a full diagnostic assessment. You would then receive psychological help which is tailored to address the needs of those on the autistic spectrum. You could be helped with the endless obsessing in a way which you could take on board as "regular" CBT/counselling often fails to hit the spot.
Rennie1989
02-07-14, 21:33
There's nothing wrong with looking youthful, but it would be very difficult to look adolescent the older you get, unless you dressed and behaved like one. You do have the issue of not being taken seriously if you look like a teenager, that's just the unfortunate truth of age discrimination. But to look youthful, look after yourself and stay healthy.
Society places too much pressure on people losing their virginity, if you're not ready then don't force yourself into a situation you're not comfortable with. So what if you're 26 and a virgin, that is nobody's business but yours. Live life how you want to.
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