nokindofhero
02-07-14, 07:49
Please, lend your hearts and read this for me. I'm sorry if it's lengthy.
Hey everyone, my name is Josh. I'm 27 years old. I play guitar in a few bands, I'm a writer, photographer and all around art enthusiast. I'm a caregiver and enjoy every minute of giving to my clients and their families. I have poor self image and I'm very awkward socially. I don't make friends easy because my anxiety makes me so aloof daily and people don't relate as well. I've even lost friendships and relationships purely on my anxiety. I miss touring with my bands but I can rarely be in public without being really tense and exhausting easily.
I am also bipolar type 1, but I am medicated and I try hard to work through my mood swings and irrational behaviors through therapy, spirituality and wellness.
I want to just summarize my life with anxiety and panic disorder right now.
It ruins my life, as I'm sure all of you are familiar with hearing and I've been a sufferer since I was 19.
It stifles my passion, longing for friendship, stability and job opportunities. I am also on disability and my mother still helps me out financially often. It makes me loathe myself.
I am constantly worried about cancer, heart problems like elevated heart rate, high BP, stroke, you name it.
I frequently feel dizzy, I imagine that I'm exhausted and try forcing myself to sleep, I have insomnia and gerd which have been giving me borderline tachycardia lately and freaking me out.
I am medicated for GAD, panic disorder and bipolar taking 10mg lexapro, 150mg lamictal and 200mg hydroxine PRN.
I have had many ER visits in the middle of the night, side of the road on a busy highway, downtown feeling trapped, last one being two months ago for panic that I thought was a stroke but turned out to be head congestion. Embarrassing. EKGs and chest scans all negative each time.
I have PVC palps occasionally, BP is usually somewhere around 140/70, heart rate at 60 and I check these all the time.
I'm presently suffering a lot of insomnia that I attempt to circumvent by taking 15mg melatonin a night. Doesn't always work.
I'm a big health nut yet I rarely enjoy the fruits of my dedication to it and am always alarmed easily, stress quickly, relax slowly and I've been agoraphobic off and on; presently homebound for 6 months.
I am a big believer in homeopathic medicine and I also take tulsi/holy basil capsules, I monitor and balance my potassium/sodium levels at 4700mg/2300mg as per national recommended and I love cardio and ab workouts, but I rarely enjoy them lately because I can hardly leave my house.
Thanks for reading.. I hope to talk with you guys soon. Peace and love. Nobody should suffer this way. My heart goes out to each of you.
Hey everyone, my name is Josh. I'm 27 years old. I play guitar in a few bands, I'm a writer, photographer and all around art enthusiast. I'm a caregiver and enjoy every minute of giving to my clients and their families. I have poor self image and I'm very awkward socially. I don't make friends easy because my anxiety makes me so aloof daily and people don't relate as well. I've even lost friendships and relationships purely on my anxiety. I miss touring with my bands but I can rarely be in public without being really tense and exhausting easily.
I am also bipolar type 1, but I am medicated and I try hard to work through my mood swings and irrational behaviors through therapy, spirituality and wellness.
I want to just summarize my life with anxiety and panic disorder right now.
It ruins my life, as I'm sure all of you are familiar with hearing and I've been a sufferer since I was 19.
It stifles my passion, longing for friendship, stability and job opportunities. I am also on disability and my mother still helps me out financially often. It makes me loathe myself.
I am constantly worried about cancer, heart problems like elevated heart rate, high BP, stroke, you name it.
I frequently feel dizzy, I imagine that I'm exhausted and try forcing myself to sleep, I have insomnia and gerd which have been giving me borderline tachycardia lately and freaking me out.
I am medicated for GAD, panic disorder and bipolar taking 10mg lexapro, 150mg lamictal and 200mg hydroxine PRN.
I have had many ER visits in the middle of the night, side of the road on a busy highway, downtown feeling trapped, last one being two months ago for panic that I thought was a stroke but turned out to be head congestion. Embarrassing. EKGs and chest scans all negative each time.
I have PVC palps occasionally, BP is usually somewhere around 140/70, heart rate at 60 and I check these all the time.
I'm presently suffering a lot of insomnia that I attempt to circumvent by taking 15mg melatonin a night. Doesn't always work.
I'm a big health nut yet I rarely enjoy the fruits of my dedication to it and am always alarmed easily, stress quickly, relax slowly and I've been agoraphobic off and on; presently homebound for 6 months.
I am a big believer in homeopathic medicine and I also take tulsi/holy basil capsules, I monitor and balance my potassium/sodium levels at 4700mg/2300mg as per national recommended and I love cardio and ab workouts, but I rarely enjoy them lately because I can hardly leave my house.
Thanks for reading.. I hope to talk with you guys soon. Peace and love. Nobody should suffer this way. My heart goes out to each of you.