Anxious about work tomorow..help!

[Sunshine84]

Hi, had major meldown last week and was off work.couldnt go out or be alone.strugglin to eat/sleep etc. Felt bit better this week after rest and meds are kicking in...however im back at work tomorrow. They know at work how ive been and are supportive, however im terrified! Panicking already about driving there, being "alone" "stuck". Just want these horrible thoughts gone. Any advice welcome. Thanks x

[susan64]

Aww Sunshine! Thought you were doing so well this last week, you seemed pretty much on top of things, I realise you're probably at work now but I bet once you've got past the first day......and survived intact, that the fear associated with it will go away. If your work are supportive that must be a big relief, just keep talking to people, the distraction of this helps. Really hope you are ok today,big hugs x

[Sunshine84]

Hi susan,its tomorrow (thursday) i have to go to work. Feel so disppointed as i was doing so well but today i seem to have gone back again as im worried about tomorrow. Im hoping that if my bad day is today then tomorrow wen i do it it will be ok...thanks for replying to me.
How is your day going? X

[susan64]

Hi Sunshine, sorry I got my days mixed up, been off work nearly 2 weeks and don't know where I am with my days! I found last time round that when I had to go back to work, after perhaps 2 1/2 weeks off on the sick, that the initial getting there was a bit of a wobbly time but once I started talking to people I felt better. Being open and honest about how you feel with others does help with the feelings of seclusion, it's hard to believe that other people can understand how you feel.....but they do.....I know I do! Chin up, you're a lot stronger than you think, we all are, they are only feelings and can't hurt us, hard to believe but true. I do realise I shall have the heed my own advice on Sunday night. I've had a not too bad day, felt a bit strange about an hour ago, hungry I think, had a snack! Really hoping you'll be ok tomorrow, let me know how you go x:hugs:

[Sunshine84]

Hi susan thanks so much for the advice.i have my clothes all ready and my alarm set...gonna try+not to worry and just do it. I will talk to my colleagues as i want to be honest with them. Thanks so much and hopefully i can be there for u on sunday night!
Glad u felt hungry today, thats another good sign that you are starting to feel better! Just think how far we have both come since our first posts! I wish you a good night and hope u have a good day tomorrow.will keep u posted x

[Sunshine84]

Hi susan how have you been today? After a nervous start,i dropped my daughter at my mums+drove to work.sat in carpark deep breathing for 5 minutes and walked in....and never looked back! I reallt enjoyed it actually..and im so proud that i didnt have a panic attack. Felt really good and even felt hungry when i came home!
I hope this gives u some comfort for monday,the thoughts are worse than reality so u will be fine. Good luck at your mums tomorrow i hope u have a good day x

[susan64]

Hi Sunshine, I knew you'd do great today, it's so liberating when you achieve something isn't it? Been out today to buy a card and present for my neighbours birthday tomorrow. My mums back and I'll be going in the morning. Had a half of diazepam this morning, the anxiety was staying a bit too long for comfort but everything fine since. Think it was due to a very disturbed night, hot sweats, age not anxiety related haha, can't blame everything on anxiety! You sound really happy in your post, sooo pleased for you :) x

[Sunshine84]

Thanks susan yes i do feel alot happier today and agree with what you say.
I hope you have a better night tonight, im afraid i have all that to look forward to, can symphasize as my mum suffers from hot flushes at the moment and the weather doesnt help does it.At least its a break from the anxiety....
Well done for going out today! You could of quite easily not bothered after a troubled night but you did brilliant to go so well done you! Big pats on the back for us both today yaaay x

[Sunshine84]

Good morning susan how are you? I hope u have been ok and that you was ok on friday going to see your mum. I also wish u good luck for tomorrow at work, today will be the worst worrying about it but tomorrow you will be fine. Keep me posted.
My husband has been off all weekend so i have been ok-ish. We are driving to see my inlaws today about 38 miles on motorway so bit anxious...all the what if' like traffic,getting stuck,having panic attacks,wanting to come home....i have my little bag of goodies tho (lavendar spray, bach sweets/spray, kalms, paper bag) so im hoping to be ok....apart from shoulder ache from the big bag haha.
Take care z

[Toniandhollie]

wow ladies, you two are amazing, the sheer bravery it takes to do what you do everyday, and I take for granted, is overwhelming, as is your support for each other. That's inner strength for you :)

Susan, hope you make it tomorrow, positive thoughts for you xx

[Sunshine84]

Thanks toni+holly that means alot. You too as a mum and your support is what makes us and your dsughter get through so well done for doung what you are doing. Mums are the best and i dont know what id do without mine so good luck to your daughter and very well done to you for helping. I hope u also find support and strength on here to help u both.keep us updated on your progress are here for u x

[Toniandhollie]

I think my hardest hurdle was accepting Hollie has "mental health" issues .. terrified me .. don't know why .. but it did .. but I know now, that that's ok, she has, but that doesn't matter, she's still my funny, loving daughter, just thinks a bit different to me :)

[susan64]

Hi Toni, thanks for your positive thoughts, also you are are right in saying support from other sufferers of this often misunderstood condition is invaluable! Chatting to Sunshine this last week or so has been great. She sounds like such a lovely young mum whose trying her very best to cope with motherhood, work and being a good wife too. All this with anxiety is a lot to handle! Have read your previous threads about your daughter and completely understand, I had a school phobia from middle to high school, had to be integrated slowly till I felt comfortable. Probably where all my further episodes of anxiety stemmed from.

---------- Post added at 18:14 ---------- Previous post was at 15:07 ----------

Hi Sunshine, Friday was ok, really pleased to see my mum and get big cuddles.....at my age! Felt a little agitated but nothing too bad. Had quite a good weekend really, felt up to some much needed cleaning! Mopping kitchen floors gets rid of a lot of nervous energy. Hope your time at your in laws went ok, strange how we cling to our safe items, like the contents of your enormously heavy bag haha. Mine is carrying round a few diazepam! I look at them and think 'do I really need them just now', mostly the answer is no! I remember doing that last year when my oldest son got married, opened the drawer and thought...no...it's not about me today! Will report back after first day back at work, glad you had an ok weekend with hubby and baby. X

[Sunshine84]

Hi toni, acceptance is the hardest thing but it sounds as though you are doing a great job and doing everything u can to help your daughter. I hope you both get the support you need to pull you through the tough times.

Hi susan, im so glad you had a nice time with your mum! Hugs from your mum are everything and as you said,age doesnt matter. Had a nice time at the inlaws thanks. Proud i went as all the way there i was panicking and at one point asked hubby if we could turn around and go home,i just couldnt face the journey and anxiety. But i busied myself,breathed deep,played with my phone and listened intently to hubby chat about normal things and it slowly took my mind away and i got through it. Another step!
I really hope work goes ok tomorrow ill be thinking of you. Please keep me updated and i hope you will get a sense of achievement and pride, and take another step up that tall ladder that we are climbing. X

[susan64]

Hi Sunshine, first day back done and dusted! Didn't go quite as well as it could've, felt ok when I got up and got there but with the nature of my job I get too much time to sit and think! Worst thing possible for anxiety isn't it, being in your own head? Anyway, the anxiousness crept in and stayed till about 3.00pm or so! Even with half a diazepam at 11.30am! Buuuut, I made it and survived to tell the tale, kept repeating something I've seen on here about it just being too much of a normal substance, ie adrenaline, in my body but it can't harm me! Tomorrow WILL be better. That's my whine out of the way, how's your day been? Have you achieved anything new?

[Sunshine84]

Hi susan aaah im so glad u did it! Well done! Hopefully today was the hardest and you should be so proud of yourself! It doesnt matter what time you stayed to or even if you took a tablet, you did it and got through thats the main thing. That is good advice what you tell yourself and i will try and use it too.
I know what you mean,as soon as you stop and think its wen the thoughts creep in. Keep going tho and i really hope that each day gets easier.
I have had a productive day thankyou.did food shopping with hubby+baby,cleaned up and then we went a walk round our local resevoir to feed some ducks.felt anxious as it was a bit out my comfort zone but seeing my little ones face light up at the ducks (and her eating the bread instead of feeding them) made it worthwhile...i have work tomorrow,thurs+fri this week. I too have made little allowances like not going in too early so im not first one there(all alone) but im hoping it goes ok.
Well done again susan and thanks for posting,i have been thinking of u. Keep going and keep me updated please, your posts really help me and i am so proud of your progress x

[susan64]

Hi Sunshine, had a bit of a setback, have private messaged you! Hope you are ok today x