phil6
04-07-14, 14:34
Hi,
I really resisted posting here once again. I fear I repeat myself.
I am still struggling with my GAD and occasional panic attacks.
I have read so much and learned so much about anxiety, about how the body responds and how the mind reacts with it's worry and attempts to fix things. My distress is often worse when waking and this is usually when I feel my version of panic. The rest of the day may be filled with a lower level anxiety with associated rumination.
I do have good days when I can see the light and often have good resolve to accept and not try and rid myself of the anxiety when it returns. It all seems simple at these times.
The last few weeks have reminded me that I just need to stop being dragged back into the war in my head and today I really wanted to get on with this approach. I woke with high anxiety and went off to the gym feeling very uncomfortable. I have returned home and ate some lunch even without much of an apetite. Then the feeling escalates to a burning anxiety. I guess it's because I am determined not to despair that I am frightening myself with the thoughts that it is getting overwhelming. Then it hits hard. The change mentally is the fear that it is too hard and I cannot stick to my guns. My mind does get drawn into trying to change the feelings. It feels so hard to let it go. Then comes the urge to get onto the Internet and read something about acceptance or to this forum for encouragement and reassurance.
Why can't I just feel anxious and even panic and find the thoughts which allow me to stop worrying about it?
I have to find something that allows me to take this final step to not caring so much when I get this surge. I seem to lose my determination and crumble. Then the despair can kick in, with the I can't do this thoughts.
I am not going that far today, or not yet, but it's hanging on at the moment and when it passes I will be left in fear again.
I do everything, I don't avoid, although I often feel like I need to.
It just feels like I have to get through a spell like this once without it feeling so frightening for me to feel less frightened of this feeling of dread and so feel like I am recovering.
I really resisted posting here once again. I fear I repeat myself.
I am still struggling with my GAD and occasional panic attacks.
I have read so much and learned so much about anxiety, about how the body responds and how the mind reacts with it's worry and attempts to fix things. My distress is often worse when waking and this is usually when I feel my version of panic. The rest of the day may be filled with a lower level anxiety with associated rumination.
I do have good days when I can see the light and often have good resolve to accept and not try and rid myself of the anxiety when it returns. It all seems simple at these times.
The last few weeks have reminded me that I just need to stop being dragged back into the war in my head and today I really wanted to get on with this approach. I woke with high anxiety and went off to the gym feeling very uncomfortable. I have returned home and ate some lunch even without much of an apetite. Then the feeling escalates to a burning anxiety. I guess it's because I am determined not to despair that I am frightening myself with the thoughts that it is getting overwhelming. Then it hits hard. The change mentally is the fear that it is too hard and I cannot stick to my guns. My mind does get drawn into trying to change the feelings. It feels so hard to let it go. Then comes the urge to get onto the Internet and read something about acceptance or to this forum for encouragement and reassurance.
Why can't I just feel anxious and even panic and find the thoughts which allow me to stop worrying about it?
I have to find something that allows me to take this final step to not caring so much when I get this surge. I seem to lose my determination and crumble. Then the despair can kick in, with the I can't do this thoughts.
I am not going that far today, or not yet, but it's hanging on at the moment and when it passes I will be left in fear again.
I do everything, I don't avoid, although I often feel like I need to.
It just feels like I have to get through a spell like this once without it feeling so frightening for me to feel less frightened of this feeling of dread and so feel like I am recovering.