Feelings of guilt are main cause of HA

[stressedGuy]

I'm not quite sure where I'm heading with this post but I mainly wondered if anyone else struggled with thoughts that if they contract a serious disease, it will be as a result of something they brought on themselves.

Right now, I'm feeling constant anxiety over fears that my lungs have been damaged due to a prior smoking habit (quit 5 years ago). In fact, most of my HA seems to be centered around a few cancers that are closely associated with smoking. I don't think I'll ever be able to shake these feelings. Every time I get a sore throat, a mouth ulcer that lasts for more than a few days or a cough that lingers, my mind immediately floats the possibility that I'm showing the first visible signs of cancer. This usually puts me into high alert mode and from that point on, I'll notice every single muscle twinge or unexplained pain. I'll look in the mirror and try to assess whether I'm losing weight. I'll monitor every single bodily sensation and wonder if it could be a symptom.

I've been to the Doctor's last week about my lungs issue. He checked me over and said that he was confident that there was nothing wrong with my lungs. He offered me a chest X-ray just to put my mind at ease but I declined since I'm too scared to go to the hospital and then wait for the results. At the time I felt fairly reassured but within a day I started to doubt his opinion. I started to wonder if he could really tell if there was a tumor in my lungs just from his stethoscope. I didn't ask him how he knew for sure since I wasn't sure I wanted to know what other symptoms he'd be looking for

So basically, I'm an emotional mess right now. I feel that if I was to be diagnosed with one of my feared diseases, then I'd deserve it and would have no-one to blame but myself.

[Serenity1990]

stressedGuy, how long did you smoke for and how many a day?

[Fishmanpa]

I smoked for 35 years. Cigarettes, pipe and cigars. I drank like a fish. I was promiscuous. I got Head and Neck Cancer, HPV positive. I also had two heart attacks, bypass surgery and stents. All of this in the last 7 years. It is what it is and guess what? I dealt with it. There are many who lived the same way and never get sick so to beat myself up is ludicrous. What's done is done and I can't say I didn't have a blast doing it ;) Now? I don't smoke, don't drink sans an occasional beer with a meal and I'm a married man. Considering everything I've gone through, I'm very blessed.

You're an EX smoker. Congratulations on that. It was the best thing you could have done for your physical and mental health. I don't know how old you are but by quitting you've improved your chances of a long life substantially. Take a look at this to see the good you've done yourself. http://whyquit.com/whyquit/A_Benefits_Time_Table.html

Here's the bottom line. IF you were to get a serious illness, you'll deal with it. What choice do you have? There's nothing you can do to turn back time but you can do things for yourself in the present for the future. The best thing you can do for yourself now is to seek help with the feelings you're having.

Positive thoughts

[luc]

Hi stressed guy. Like Fishmanpapa said, seek help for the health anxiety. Lucia.