Paulb231286
06-07-14, 15:47
Hi, I'm Paul, 27. I've had an awful year with a relationship breakup at the start of the year which triggered a horrendous spell of anxiety and stress, with now depression. I have tried to keep going with my job which in itself is extremely stressful at times, very busy and lots of demands which I'm struggling to cope with on top of everything else. Also recently our dog died and my friend has cancer, all not helping! I'm currently on holiday till Tuesday and have felt my mental state deteriorating badly, shutting down with a brain dead feeling, finding it hard to make decisions / think / process and interact with people properly, having to be prompted to eat at times. I'm on medication propronanlol 40mg in the morning quietiapine 25mg at night, although feel these are further shutting my brain down leading to less cognitive ability so today decided to miss the propronalol for a day, feel ok more alert but bit agitated / anxious / slight shaking. Feel flat also and unresponsive at times, just wanting to "take it easy" and relax / not do much, and it makes me sad seeing everyone else being so active / social when that used to be me, feeling like just "being there" and not contributing due to mental state. Feel I'm starting to fall into a "zombified" state, trying to make the most of holiday for my friend but very hard, thought of work seems impossible at the moment. Doctors next week to review everything, really don't know where to go from here just feel I'm existing in my life and not living / running away from things / situations that make me nervous, just feels like a complete 360 cycle from where I was even a year ago. Trying to make the best of things it's really hard just now putting on a front and making out everything's fine. Input appreciated please thanks :)