DustingMyselfOff
06-07-14, 19:02
Hi there.
Sorry if this is already discussed somewhere here on the forum but I haven't been able to find it. My health anxiety is different than other peoples' because I don't obsess over any specific symptom or terminal illness..... instead I worry about "not feeling good" when anywhere but home. Through the years I have suffered from lots of valid medical issues that cause me to feel bad, and I have also suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for decades. The medical and psychological have been somewhat controlled over the years with medical treatment but what it's left me with is a terrible fear of something causing me to not feel well when I'm away from my house. It's not a fear of dying from it - it's that I am sick of feeling sick and I so dread the next episode, regardless of how severe or mild it is.
As we all know, if we're going to feel physically unwell we'd rather be home than anywhere else in the world, so whenever I need to leave the house either for my job or a social event, I dread going because I don't want to feel bad in a place where I can't lay down or just give in to my illness.
I went out last night with people I'm comfortable with to a place I normally love, but halfway there I was overcome with extreme fatigue and a foggy brain. All I wanted to do was lie down and cancel the outing but didn't want to ruin it for others. It was a really difficult 6 hours, hanging on by a thread to get through the night and counting the minutes until I could be home and crash.
Today I don't want to go anywhere or do anything in case something gets me again. It doesn't matter what it might be - I just want a guarantee that I will not feel badly unless I'm home, and I know no one can give me that. But the fear of getting any sort of physical discomfort anywhere except home is starting to take over.
I ask myself: what's the worst that could happen? And the answer is valid and justifiable: I will feel lousy (in some way, shape or form) and suffer through the outing. I can handle suffering but not outside the comfort of my home!
Can anyone relate to this? I don't know if this is health anxiety as I'm not obsessing over my heartbeat or any bumps, symptoms, etc. I just don't want any physical issues to happen away from home!
Sue
Sorry if this is already discussed somewhere here on the forum but I haven't been able to find it. My health anxiety is different than other peoples' because I don't obsess over any specific symptom or terminal illness..... instead I worry about "not feeling good" when anywhere but home. Through the years I have suffered from lots of valid medical issues that cause me to feel bad, and I have also suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for decades. The medical and psychological have been somewhat controlled over the years with medical treatment but what it's left me with is a terrible fear of something causing me to not feel well when I'm away from my house. It's not a fear of dying from it - it's that I am sick of feeling sick and I so dread the next episode, regardless of how severe or mild it is.
As we all know, if we're going to feel physically unwell we'd rather be home than anywhere else in the world, so whenever I need to leave the house either for my job or a social event, I dread going because I don't want to feel bad in a place where I can't lay down or just give in to my illness.
I went out last night with people I'm comfortable with to a place I normally love, but halfway there I was overcome with extreme fatigue and a foggy brain. All I wanted to do was lie down and cancel the outing but didn't want to ruin it for others. It was a really difficult 6 hours, hanging on by a thread to get through the night and counting the minutes until I could be home and crash.
Today I don't want to go anywhere or do anything in case something gets me again. It doesn't matter what it might be - I just want a guarantee that I will not feel badly unless I'm home, and I know no one can give me that. But the fear of getting any sort of physical discomfort anywhere except home is starting to take over.
I ask myself: what's the worst that could happen? And the answer is valid and justifiable: I will feel lousy (in some way, shape or form) and suffer through the outing. I can handle suffering but not outside the comfort of my home!
Can anyone relate to this? I don't know if this is health anxiety as I'm not obsessing over my heartbeat or any bumps, symptoms, etc. I just don't want any physical issues to happen away from home!
Sue