I need help ASAP :/ Breakdown incoming...

[Wintear]

I don't think I can do this anymore on my own...I lost my Uncle (he was a father figure to me..me and my blood-related father do not get along at all..he's a total deadbeat and my Uncle knew this..) back in March of this year, so only four months ago. He passed in his sleep...

I can't get over this. No matter how hard I try to face facts and admit that he's really gone. I just can't. My stomach wrenches and I feel like throwing up while simultaneously bawling my eyes out.....

My heart aches at the mere idea of him never being there for me ever again. I can't stand it. No words could ever possibly do this kind of pain justice....

My anxiety is through the roof. I feel physically sick/feverish all the time, weighed down (as if there is constantly a massive pile of cinder blocks resting on my shoulders/chest), I break out in random panic attacks throughout the day/night (even when I first wake up or sometimes right out of a dead sleep), I'm struggling to breathe, I'm hyperventilating, I'm light-headed and dizzy off/on, I'm shaky, I'm hot one moment then ice cold the next, I get tingly sensations in my hands/feet, I experiencing an intense feeling of impending doom in the pit of my stomach, I'm devastatingly depressed like NEVER before, my mind's always racing and overwhelming me, I can barely sleep and have little to no interest in eating, and I'm now suffering through bouts of PTSD...

I feel so alone. I have no one there for me..at all. My "friends" have distanced themselves and don't even bother checking in on me anymore. My family is rather dysfunctional so that's a no-go. I'm stressed to the max day in and day out and the worst part of it is is that I fear this is only the beginning.

I lost my best friend (literally) of 20 years. How the hell am I suppose to accept something like that?? Let alone COPE???

I've never been this "needy" before, so to speak, but I really need someone to talk to.....I'm so desperate just to vent to someone who genuinely cares. I can't take much more of this......I just can't!

[Gregor]

Hi there,

Hopefully venting your problems maybe helped a little? in any case, although i can't totally relate to everything you're going through, i have had either now, or in the past, many of the symptoms you have and know exactly how you feel.

It can also be hard when your so-called friends can't be bothered with you anymore. I, myself, also feel right now that i don't really have anyone left who even cares. No one phones me or texts me to ask how i'm feeling or anything like that. I know that shouldn't matter, but everyone likes to know they have someone to rely on or who cares about you.

For what it's worth, i do genuinely care what's happening to you, even though i don't even know you. That's because i am empathetic and sympathetic. If i could change everyone's mental state i would in an instant because it's the most life exhasting illness on earth.

If you need someone to talk to, please just pm me.

Take care,

Gregor

[adhdlesbain]

I can tell you honestly life is jus hard and yet exhausting when you feel like the world is dumping on you because too much bad has hAppened. Life challenges that tragedy happens. People whom we lose in our life due to death or they just do not pick up the phone or respond to a text or email. It can hurt. Hello. I have adhd, and trust me you will get through this. I can dump on you all of what my abusive childhood was like. Took how my family told me I never go to college because I am not smart enough. Just know you have inner strength. You can get through this. Why? Because people you do not know you care. I am writing to you. Care about us. Have the inner strength to say that although this is hard right now I will get through this.

[Zoecat]

Hi, sorry you feel so bad. I know how it can feel. Have you been to the doc's? I know its the not the same, but calling a helpline just to offload can sometimes help - (eg. samaritans). How are you feeling today?

[Gezza]

I can truly understand what you are going through, again I don't know you but I care if I could take all the pain and suffering away from everyone on this board including mine I would.

[Catherine S]

Going through this grief that you have now is a normal part of losing somebody you loved so much. Its truly a physical pain and right now you feel you'll never come out of it but you will...we all do in our own time. My thoughts are with you. Take care. Small steps.

ISB x

[Jacsta]

Hey

I'm sorry for your loss...grief and bereavement is one of the hardest things a person has to go through, especially when it is someone so close and dear to your heart. Death is something that triggers my own mental health issues and have struggles over the years with delayed bereavement so talking from experience...ignoring the issue won't make it go away.

Give it time, allow yourself to grieve and process what has happened. Don't shut people out though, they may not have the answer, or know what to say, but having people around is important...nobody should be alone.

You won't be able to replace the relationship you had with your uncle, that was something special, but you can and will be able to live without him in your life...it will take time, and yes your life will be different, but you have to carry on living, to make him proud, and give the credit that having life deserves.

Maybe its time to approach your doctor and get a referral for some bereavement therapy as it sounds like the symptoms and panic you have are affecting your everyday life in a big way. Its good to talk, its good to remember, but the future is what is ahead so you have to find a way to live life

Take care of yourself

Jac

[Wintear]

Sorry for the late reply, guys...I've been having a really rough day and now it's getting worse. I can literally feel waves of anxiety and stress coming over me. It's such an uncomfortable sensation. I can't shake it no matter what...

I think I'm on the road to having another attack or two tonight. Last night, at around 2 AM, my head felt floaty then all of a sudden I felt like I was gonna go completely insane, so I sat up in a panic and started to hyperventilate. I got really cold, clammy, and weak/fatigued. The waves started to hit me then, too. It took about an hour to calm down enough to lay back down and play a movie/video on my phone to distract me...

I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm walking on thin ice and at any moment I'm going to fall completely through...sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and "release" all of this negativity that's festering inside me...