Foxen
10-07-14, 12:15
Hello, all. I am new to this forum. 26 and living in Britain.
I developed panic attacks/health anxiety after I was very unwell with Anorexia Nervosa. I went from very obese to quite underweight in relatively short period of time and made myself very sick mentally and physically. For a short while my health was in genuine danger and I suspect that because I felt I could not trust myself to do the right thing for my health after the anorexia, I developed panic disorder, specifically around my health and food as a coping mechanism. Panic around dying spurred on my recovery.
That was two years ago, and my weight is at the higher end of healthy now. I gradually overcame panic disorder, with time and quite a lot of anxiety medication, which I am now off.
Recently, however, two things have occurred.
A couple of months ago, I became ill. I noticed really weird, almost fecal (?) bad breath, epi-gastric pain first. And then breathlessness almost all the time, dizziness, nausea, numbness in the legs, chronic constipation amongst other things and lately changes to my tongue. Preliminary blood tests indicate large red blood cells and b12 deficiency suspected, waiting to be tested for that and h-pylori. Everything is taking so long to get tested for. B12 deficiency isn't usually related to your intake but to absorption issues. My mind is constantly worrying about what might be causing it and is full of 'Cancer'? Addison's? Huge horrible ulcers stopping me absorb? Bowel Impaction? Endlessly. Panic symptoms are mixing in with original symptoms and I can't tell what is what anymore.
Around a similar time, I began restricting my intake again, leading to increased anxiety. My weight was a little overweight and I was hating myself for it. I've successfully lost some weight but the panic increased with the weightloss and my calories have been really quite low.
I think I've been to A&E about 5 times now, with chest pain and various issues. I'm never an emergency and there appears to be nothing wrong with my heart after ECGs and chest x-rays and basic bloodwork. I'm trying to get better about trusting medical professionals and finally mostly starting to believe my heart is 'okay'. I've made emergency appointments with GP's when they can't possibly have any new information for me a similar amount of times.
Checking these things helps briefly but then the fear is back. I am finding it really hard to cope, knowing there *is* something wrong but I just have to sit with it. I feel like I am driving everyone around me mad, even though they are mostly being patient with me. I've finally realised that restricting my intake while having a suspected problem can't be helping. I have had a resurgence of eating disorder behaviour and thoughts, so putting the calories up is very hard for me but I am trying. I've taken up mindfulness meditation to try and get on top of the fear. It's interesting but I tend to almost panic repeatedly while attempting to meditate. I want to get therapy, but it's taking a while to find. I feel I am going slowly crazy, I can't focus on doing anything and becoming quite depressed.
I am actually not sure what I am looking for here. I suppose: Has anyone here suffered from Pernicious Anemia/B12 deficiency? If so how bad were your symptoms and what caused this for you? I know left untreated pernicious anemia is bad and can lead to permanent problems, but in the shorter term, how serious is this?
Thank you if you read this far.
I developed panic attacks/health anxiety after I was very unwell with Anorexia Nervosa. I went from very obese to quite underweight in relatively short period of time and made myself very sick mentally and physically. For a short while my health was in genuine danger and I suspect that because I felt I could not trust myself to do the right thing for my health after the anorexia, I developed panic disorder, specifically around my health and food as a coping mechanism. Panic around dying spurred on my recovery.
That was two years ago, and my weight is at the higher end of healthy now. I gradually overcame panic disorder, with time and quite a lot of anxiety medication, which I am now off.
Recently, however, two things have occurred.
A couple of months ago, I became ill. I noticed really weird, almost fecal (?) bad breath, epi-gastric pain first. And then breathlessness almost all the time, dizziness, nausea, numbness in the legs, chronic constipation amongst other things and lately changes to my tongue. Preliminary blood tests indicate large red blood cells and b12 deficiency suspected, waiting to be tested for that and h-pylori. Everything is taking so long to get tested for. B12 deficiency isn't usually related to your intake but to absorption issues. My mind is constantly worrying about what might be causing it and is full of 'Cancer'? Addison's? Huge horrible ulcers stopping me absorb? Bowel Impaction? Endlessly. Panic symptoms are mixing in with original symptoms and I can't tell what is what anymore.
Around a similar time, I began restricting my intake again, leading to increased anxiety. My weight was a little overweight and I was hating myself for it. I've successfully lost some weight but the panic increased with the weightloss and my calories have been really quite low.
I think I've been to A&E about 5 times now, with chest pain and various issues. I'm never an emergency and there appears to be nothing wrong with my heart after ECGs and chest x-rays and basic bloodwork. I'm trying to get better about trusting medical professionals and finally mostly starting to believe my heart is 'okay'. I've made emergency appointments with GP's when they can't possibly have any new information for me a similar amount of times.
Checking these things helps briefly but then the fear is back. I am finding it really hard to cope, knowing there *is* something wrong but I just have to sit with it. I feel like I am driving everyone around me mad, even though they are mostly being patient with me. I've finally realised that restricting my intake while having a suspected problem can't be helping. I have had a resurgence of eating disorder behaviour and thoughts, so putting the calories up is very hard for me but I am trying. I've taken up mindfulness meditation to try and get on top of the fear. It's interesting but I tend to almost panic repeatedly while attempting to meditate. I want to get therapy, but it's taking a while to find. I feel I am going slowly crazy, I can't focus on doing anything and becoming quite depressed.
I am actually not sure what I am looking for here. I suppose: Has anyone here suffered from Pernicious Anemia/B12 deficiency? If so how bad were your symptoms and what caused this for you? I know left untreated pernicious anemia is bad and can lead to permanent problems, but in the shorter term, how serious is this?
Thank you if you read this far.