Really disappointed in myself :(

[kia-kaha]

Today, I was meant to go (with a small group of people from work) to visit another business for a meeting. Last night and this morning, I felt really anxious and scared that I would have a problem with dizziness and collapsing etc that I ended up calling in sick today :(

I'm so disappointed and angry with myself...

[lior]

Anxiety and depression are meant to account for something like 10% of all sick days... you're not alone.

Have you been collapsing at work? Does your manager know anything about your suffering? Or are you hiding it (as I pretty much always do)?

[HalfJack]

I hate it when that happens, try to remember that it's not you it's the anxiety x

[kia-kaha]

I collapsed once at work about 3-4 months ago, which is where this current problem all started for me. I have had nearly every possible test and all have been clear, but I'm still waiting to see ENT specialist.

My manager knows I have been having some health issues, but I have largely tried to hide it also.

I had a couple of really good days this week, having read the CBT books and started practicing it, this just feels like a huge setback but I also realise I was prob being too ambitious even considering going today.

[HalfJack]

set backs really suck, sounds like you're doing all the right things to help yourself though :)

[kia-kaha]

Thanks HalfJack. I appreciate your kind words and support that I am heading along the right path.

I know healing isn't linear and there will be setbacks, but I'm still really annoyed at myself today (which I am going to try and use as a positive motivator).

[aprilmoon]

Hi
Don't beat yourself up over this,we're all human,and,as you say,you're even going to draw something positive from it,which is good.
As far as I'm concerned,we're all hero's who deal with this sort of thing,and we should pat ourselves on the back more than we do.
Take care :hugs:

[Ruby13]

Do not punish yourself or be disappointed in yourself. It is good that you can be honest here and say what you feel. We are all here to support you.

[lior]

I just read that there is a hospital where everyone can say when they have made mistakes, even if they have given a patient an overdose, without getting punished. As a result it's one of the safest hospitals in the world. I think that's because they deal with it as a team.

Wouldn't it be amazing if the same thing could happen with panic and anxiety, and whenever we can't handle a situation, we could talk to our team at work, then we'd all handle it together and we'd end up with the happiest workplaces in the world?

Do you think that might happen within our lifetimes?

[jefferina]

Your definately not alone we have all done that one time or another. Try not to beat yourself up about it. Tomorrow is a new day and a new chance to make changes.... Goodluck to you xx

[Richard1960]

HI
The worst thing you can do is beat your self up over this believe me, take a deep breath visit your Doctors get some short term help if its needed and move on,if you beat yourself up you will end up in a worse place.

Eveybody has problems mine are to do with alcohol just been in hospital for a second re-hab,and am certainly not going to let myself go backwards,yes i need some short term help and medication but so be it.

No drink now in three weeks and am on anti drink drugs mostly due to anxiety and depresssion (which led me to drink a vicious circle),you will succeed there is certainly no shame whatsoever in asking for help.

Which you seem to realise so you are on your way.

All the best.

Richard.:)

[kia-kaha]

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who replied. You have no idea how much comfort all your kind words gave me.

To atone for yesterday, I made myself go out to a large department store today (which always make me nervous). I guess that I needed to prove something to myself and make things right so that I didn't continue to beat myself up about my 'demons' getting the better of me yesterday.

This is not going to beat me... and thank you to everyone for their support. It is quite amazing to be able to get words of support and reassurance from all around the world and be able to offer support to each other.

I feel that I owe you :) Yes, it was a setback yesterday but I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure it was only one temporary step backwards, not a full retreat...

Thank you to all of you and kia kaha (which is Maori for "stay strong")