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stressedGuy
11-07-14, 13:00
Hi. I read a post recently from someone who blogs about his HA. The post was about how Hypochondria has become such an overused and misused word, in most cases from people with little or no knowledge or appreciation of the term "hypochondriac". A link to his blog is below if anyone feels like reading it. He posted a link to it himself on this forum a few days ago.

http://www.healthanxietystories.com/

I found the blog interesting and thought that I might try to take a break from my own current HA episode to chip in my own tuppence worth and to see if anyone has their own opinion on the subject.

I think that the word "hypochondriac" is bandied around and used in such a disposable and cheerful manner, that few who were actually suffering with the condition would adopt. There are other examples where people misuse other conditions as well:
Someone loses their keys - "Oh man, I must have Alzheimer's"
Someone who keeps a really tidy desk - "I'm really OCD about that sort of thing"
"My friend hardly eats, she's a bit Anorexic"

Unfortunately, the world seems to make light of hypochondria partly because they only have a superficial understand it. It's a source of fun. Even as someone who suffers from HA, I can see why some people think it's a bit funny; I hope I'm not offending anyone to suggest that there IS a humorous element to it. Physically healthy people walking around thinking that they have life-threatening illnesses a lot of the time. Not only that, but different serious diseases. One month it's a brain tumor, then all of a sudden it's pancreatic cancer. After a while, cancer gets put aside and something else like a heart condition becomes the focus of our torment. Unfortunately, HA sufferers rarely feel like laughing when they're lying in bed at 4am planning their funeral.

What chance does the average person have of understanding the condition if people a whole lot closer to it don't really understand either? My wife has been by my side since I had my first bout of HA about a decade ago. I'd love to say that she's been a rock but I can't. Her patience wears pretty thin sometimes and I can't say that I blame her. I've lost count of the number of weekends that I've ruined. I've destroyed entire holidays. We've sat together in some really beautiful places and all I've been able to think of is how few of these days that I'll have the opportunity to experience before my time runs out. I don't have an answer for her when she says that she doesn't understand why I'm ruining my life and hers by worrying about diseases that I don't have because I'm IMAGINING symptoms. It's ALL IN YOUR HEAD is something she'll direct me to accept, while I try to find the words to make her understand or at least to understand that I can't control it. I've stopped trying to communicate these feelings to her now. I just try and deal with it myself. I use these forums every day and when things get too much, I make an appointment with the GP and try to get some relief there. Even my GP visits are kept quiet from her.

Even more bizarre; I don't fully understand why I'm this way either; I can't explain it. And I do feel like a big joke. I feel like a cowardly selfish worthless man, moping around in a cloud of self-pity, obsessed with whatever physical symptoms of pain or discomfort that I happen to be experiencing. How come I don't worry about the health of my wife or son? If my son tells me that his head hurts, I don't think "Could it be a tumor?". If he has pains in his tummy, I tell him to go and sit on the toilet for a while. Why can't I apply the same logic to myself? Does every mild symptom have to come with an alarm bell going off in my head?

If hypochondria isn't exactly a funny disease, then it's definitely an ironic one. How many conditions are based on the premise that you're NOT suffering from the disease that you think you are? So, can you blame the world for making light of it? This particular mental illness doesn't know what it wants to be. No wonder even the medical profession gets frustrated with it. How many of us have had numerous procedures, often quite invasive, in order to be shown that there's nothing wrong with a particular organ/body-part? Sometimes we have the same procedure several times and STILL we don't get long lasting relief.

What do you say we have a good laugh at ourselves? I sure could do with one.

Catherine S
11-07-14, 13:15
Fortunately with time and age my HA isn't so powerful as it once was, which is ironic as now that i'm 60 i'm at an age when I really can suffer genuine illnessess. I can look back down the years to my 20s when it all started and laugh at some of the situations I got myself into, or tried to get myself out of because of panic, convinced I had some terrible illness or I was about to fall down dead! Obviously not funny going through it all and it really blighted my life with my young family at the time, but yes I can laugh about some of it now, and share my experiences on nmp. I'm not completely HA-free these days and I do take betablockers for some symptoms, but its not nearly as bad as it has been over previous years :)

ISB x

Fishmanpa
11-07-14, 14:58
This is an interesting thread.

As one who does not suffer with HA, I don't find it funny "ha ha" per se', but funny as in puzzling, if that makes sense. For instance, a rather common theme is for a person to have a fear, go through a plethora of tests and medical professionals and still doubt. Many times my reaction is "Really? Oh c'mon now! You can't be serious". I think the word that suits HA for me is "baffling". That being said, the irrationality of some of the fears has made me giggle on occasion. (Don't get me started on poo threads!)

Honestly, I find it sad and incredibly frustrating and feel empathy for the sufferer. I've been in a place mentally where I was trapped in a bad state of mind and nothing anyone could say or do made a difference. There are times, due to my physical issues that I fall into the pit of frustration and despair. My wife knows this well and also knows to just give me space and let me dig myself out. It's up to me to break free of it and I've got some pretty good tools to do so.

So no, HA isn't funny but at the same time being able to laugh at ourselves and laughter in general is a wonderful healing tool.

Positive thoughts

RoseEve
11-07-14, 19:39
I find that I myself make light of it. So much so that when I told my friend I was in therapy she was surprised. She thought I was kidding the whole time. I often use humor to get through my struggles. I can always say I still have my sense of humor.

Rennie1989
11-07-14, 22:04
When I was a kid being called a hypochondriac was an insult, meaning that you were too focused on what was wrong with you, genuine or not (but as a kid who was somewhat neglected I hardly blame myself for it!). Because that word still has a deep, negative and hurtful meaning to me I always say 'health anxiety' instead.

People laugh and make fun because they do not understand the genuine fear that it causes. I had health anxiety along with many other anxieties that I worried I had HIV, chlamydia, cancer in my lymph nodes, lung cancer, schizophrenia and a ton more, one after the other. I was lucky to have a very supportive husband who talked me out of it to the point where I no longer have an ounce of health anxiety, and I do genuinely understand the fear. Sometimes I do headbutt my laptop and think 'WHY!?!?!?' when I read HA posts because I want everybody here to have that realisation that I had and to understand that 99% of their worries are irrational and, sorry to say, nonsense.

I never laugh at people, but as Fishmanpa said, I do out of befuddlement.

swgrl09
11-07-14, 22:52
I agree, the word has a bad stigma. I just wanted to add in that I recently did a training and the name is changed in the new DSM (Bible of psychological disorders in the US) to Illness Anxiety Disorder. Just thought it was interesting.

HealthAnxious
12-07-14, 09:54
I'm glad this post actually led to some debate (that's what I intended when I wrote it). It's interesting for me to read the posts on this thread too. I can't tell whether or not the overwhelming feeling of the first poster is agreement or disagreement - I believe there is an element of each!

What I will say is that I completely agree with pretty much everything that has been said in this thread. Of course we need to laugh at ourselves! In one of my other posts, I refer to a list as long as my arm of 'minor illnesses' on my GP's computer (it was left on he screen when she left the room and I was curious!). I found that equally funny and worrying! It made me want to kick myself for diagnosing myself with all these 'diseases' without any substance, but it gave me some semblance of comfort at the same time.

When it's not funny, at least to me, is when you're in the middle of a panic attack, or you're worrying for your life, and this tends to be the time that people decide to comment.

My opinion on the term 'hypochondriac' is essentially this - it's not to be used in the same context as health anxiety. I don't find the term particularly funny when used in any context, but I would say I almost feel 'misdiagnosed' if I'm called a hypochondriac. Perhaps this is because I feel as if they're rubbishing the pain I've gone through, and perhaps it's pedantic. Or maybe it's because I want to be able to control at least one part of my anxiety - the name - same I can't really control the rest of it.

Humly
13-07-14, 08:29
Well Stressedguy. I can certainly identify with you on this. I am in the same situation with my hubby. he has zero patience with me regarding health worries so I just dont talk to him about it any more and I have the same feelings of shame and embarassment. I just dont tell him if I have to go to the doctors and visit this site in secret as he doesnt think its good for me. When it comes to my kids I think I turn in around and it becomes a sort of denial. I will tell them "its nothing" or "dont worry its only ....." because the thought of anything happening to them is unthinkable. Obviously if things persist I will take them to the doctors. I suppose many people think a hypochondriac is a person who imagines they are ill when they are not and quite often look upon them as a joke but it really isnt funny. Whether they are imagining symptoms or not it certainly isnt a joke and it saddens me that this happens. When I am in a better frame of mind, I can look back at some of my worries and realise I was totally over reacting but I cant laugh at myself as I remember the anguish. Great posts.