Catherine84
12-07-14, 21:18
I've had panic attacks centred around an awareness of my breathing all week. This has been absolutely unrelenting today, to the point where I cannot do anything. Even just existing is an effort and I feel like I'd rather not.
I have not had a drink in the last 6 months, but I am seriously considering driving to Tesco and getting some wine to get me through a trip to London that I'm supposed to be going to tomorrow. It was supposed to be a treat for my partner's 30th birthday. I paid a lot for the tickets, and don't want to waste my money or let him down, but just leaving the house at the moment is an effort.
I was on Diazepam for around 5 months after leaving rehab. This is the first time on my monthly cycle where I have not had it. I'm also on Pregabalin 600mg a day, but it seems to be doing nothing.
I rang the out of hours doctor to see if I could get a limited supply of Diazepam to get me through the next few days of my cycle where my anxiety seems to be worse, but I was told that they couldn't give it to me and to go to a and e, but she didn't guarantee they'd be able to do anything. I've tried CBT, relaxing music, a bath with lavender fragrance, but nothing is cutting through this. It's so extreme that I clawed my arm and it was dripping blood when I turned up at a and e. I'm still sitting here now, beside myself and don't know what to say or do when I am called to see someone. My partner is with me as well.
I just don't see any way out. I don't want to drink again, and would rather have some medication to help me through, but I am not hopeful I will get anywhere.
I feel like this is the end of the road, and I have lost all hope. Breathing occurs every minute of your existence. How am I possibly ever going to overcome this?
I have not had a drink in the last 6 months, but I am seriously considering driving to Tesco and getting some wine to get me through a trip to London that I'm supposed to be going to tomorrow. It was supposed to be a treat for my partner's 30th birthday. I paid a lot for the tickets, and don't want to waste my money or let him down, but just leaving the house at the moment is an effort.
I was on Diazepam for around 5 months after leaving rehab. This is the first time on my monthly cycle where I have not had it. I'm also on Pregabalin 600mg a day, but it seems to be doing nothing.
I rang the out of hours doctor to see if I could get a limited supply of Diazepam to get me through the next few days of my cycle where my anxiety seems to be worse, but I was told that they couldn't give it to me and to go to a and e, but she didn't guarantee they'd be able to do anything. I've tried CBT, relaxing music, a bath with lavender fragrance, but nothing is cutting through this. It's so extreme that I clawed my arm and it was dripping blood when I turned up at a and e. I'm still sitting here now, beside myself and don't know what to say or do when I am called to see someone. My partner is with me as well.
I just don't see any way out. I don't want to drink again, and would rather have some medication to help me through, but I am not hopeful I will get anywhere.
I feel like this is the end of the road, and I have lost all hope. Breathing occurs every minute of your existence. How am I possibly ever going to overcome this?