I am going to ruin my christmas again

[Jem27]

I just know it, im worrying myself sick about this hiv thing again. I had a negative HIV result only 3 weeks ago. 6 weeks after I aparently slept with someone with no protection. I am not proud of getting so drunk and behaving like that, I have no memory of it, I was having some problems at home and went out with my friends and that happened.

My dr told me a negative result at 6 weeks is accurate and no need to re test. Me being stupid im doubting it now thinking I should of insisted on waiting until 3 months. I told my dr id read its 3 months and he said 6 weeks is fine. I know I should trust him, I do deep down but this anxiety is eating away at me.

This man is fine, doesnt sleep around but I don't know if his ex partner did do I?and im now really doubting my test result.

My home life is now great, I have 3 fab children and a loving husband, we are putting the past behind us and he has now started to put me first instead of work. I don't want to ruin christmas like I do every year worrying.

Can anyone give me some words of reassurance? I have considered googling if 6 week tests are accurate but I know I will find something to upset myself and I really do not want to do that.

Sorry to post again:(

[LickeyEndBlues]

Hi Jem
Boy are you getting in a bit of a twist...it's what we do well!! Negative worry thoughts are most certainly our demons, recognising that is half the battle.

In some way you need to trust your Doc. I fel there may be some guilt that is persecuting how you are feeling and therefore making things worse for you.

You say your homelife is great and both of you are working on getting it right. In some way you need to focus on that and try to build on through what is always a difficult period.

Biggest advice I can give....dont google!!

Take care Jem

Iain

What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

[jo61]

hi, instead of googling have you considered seeing another doctor, just to put your mind at rest. My instinct tells me he wouldn't tell you 6 weeks was fine if it wasn't.



Jo

[kate]

Awww Jem, your doctor wouldn't have told you a test at 6 weeks were accurate if it wasn't, it's your anxiety and probably guilt getting the better of you.

Try to relax, believe what your doctor has told you, and move on. It wont be easy, and will take a while, but it can be done.

Kate x


"Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same"

[Jem27]

Thank you both.

He is my dr and I have a very good relationship with him. I am seeing him this week to change my iron tablets but I know if I question him about this he will give a right telling off, he said I had to trust the result when I got it.

Yes there is alot of guilt but my husband has been fantastic, we were in a real bad place at the time, spark had gone and having a few problems. Everything is working out now but my health anxiety is taking over again:-(

[Jem27]

Thanks Kate,

I am so tempted to google on NHS or patient.co.uk to see if it says 6 weeks is ok, they are the sites ive seen my GP go on.

[happyone]

Oh Jem,
I understand where you are coming from but Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaase try to take your doc at his word.
I slept with a stranger (well we did introduce ourselves to each other!) when I was 19. For 11 years I tortured myself about HIV. I wouldn't go for a test. I wouldn't sleep with anyone without protection until my present partner and then worried I'd given him it.
Eventually I got a test and laid that anxiety to rest. I wish I'd had the guts to do it 11 years earlier. So you are brave, and well done for getting the test. Please enjoy your christmas.

Happyone
x

[bri]

hI I've had the fear of aids sinse i was 10yrs old i am now 30, so i no were your cuming from, i,ve not had a test but my parnter had 1 when she had our baby at that time it didnt cross my mind if i had aids, it was clear, i've been unfaihfull in the past thats when it kicked in hard guilt that you mite of passed it on to your partner, i woudnt go 4 a test i,m not brave enough, But going 4 a test is a good thing 2 do but your also giving into your compulsion bye going 4 it. Check out the aids sites i did it makes you understand more about it. k..[8)]

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Jem,

I assume you really want to know the facts so here they are. Most people develop detectable HIV antibodies between 6 to 12 weeks of infection. In very rare cases it can take up to 6 months. Getting tested earlier than 3 months may result in an unclear test result, as an infected person may not yet have developed antibodies to HIV. The time between infection and the development of antibodies is called the window period. Where I did my research for you it also suggests to be retested again at 6 months to be sure and that is if you have not been sharing needles or been having unprotected sex again. Also, needless to say if between those 6 months your health declines in any way please see your doctor. It does however state that many many people worry needlessly that they do have HIV but having the test can put your mind to rest. I hope stating the facts have not put you in more of a worse state that has not been my intention. I just know if it was me I would want to know the facts. Personally, I think you will be okay. If it were me, I would just be retested in 6 months if your doctor will even do it, if not I think you can buy over the counter tests, not sure if you can in the UK.

In the meantime, there is nothing you can do more about it now. You have been tested, the facts state that at 6 weeks it will show negative or positive. Your doctor is behind the research in this. Your marriage is back on track. I would try to put this behind me and focus on the good things, otherwise you could ruin the good that you have gotten back. I know it is easy to say and hard to do, believe me, but try. (call me Mrs. Worrywort) If you ever need to talk, please pm me.

Bel

"Our thoughts are our reality"

[Jem27]

Thank you all.

[Jem27]

I am so stupid:( I went and read NHS/Bupa and Patient.co.uk and all say a test before 12 weeks isn't accurate, why did my GP say 6 weeks was fine, I trusted him surely he wouldn't be able to do a test if it weren't going to be accurate at 6 weeks.

I read that many people have a flu like illness 2-6 weeks after infection, i did have a virus for a week around 5 weeks after, dr said thats what it was. It also said people have no otehr symptoms for about 2-10yrs although some people can have night sweats & permenant swollen glands. I have recently started wakin in the night feeling clamy (surely night sweats would mean im dripping???) and I have 2 raised glands in my jaw, they always come up when I have a cold or run down but not been up for a long time. I am also very very tired.

I am in such a panic. I am seeing my dr thursday for my iron tablets, i know for sure if I say I doubt the test he will hit the roof, I don't want to annoy him, he puts up with alot from me. Last time i went he said thats the end of it, it was negative at 6 wks and no need to repeat.

What a christmas this will be, im worryng myself sick. I felt great last week , not a care in the world, what happened? I trusted my result.:([|)]

[lass]

Your GP is so approachable, I think you should tell him how you feel. He won't be angry - he understands your anxiety. I'm sure he will reassure you that you're fine.

Did your kids have coughs/colds when you got your virus? It's far more likely that you've picked up something from them.

And the other symptoms are all anxiety-related and just from being run down. Also, maybe your iron is low and that's why you are tired?

There are so many reasons why you're feeling like you are, and HIV would be way way down the list of possibilities. But I do know how you feel and when an idea gets into our heads, well it's impossible to make it go away.

Can you bring your appointment forward? Don't go on punishing yourself with this if you can get it sorted earlier. You just need to tell him that you are concerned about your viral symptoms and you read some info that puts some doubt into your mind as to the timing of the test - and let him put your mind at rest. Honestly, he knows you well and he'll understand where you're coming from. You're not being unreasonable. He told you to talk to him about anything and he was glad you were open with him. You are lucky to have such a great GP!

Huge hugs to you; you'll be okay.

Caroline
xx

[strawberrie]

hi jem, im so sorry you're feeling so worried. Do you have any reason to think that this man would have hiv? is he a drug user or anything? You said he doesnt sleep around. TBH, from what you've said, there doesnt seem to be any reason to think he would have hiv. And even IF he did (which is very unlikely) you would still be very unlikely to have picked it up from him.

If it was me, i would ask the doctor again, and say what you have read on NHS/Bupa and explain that this is why you are worried. I am sure he will be able to reassure you. TBH they are probably over cautious about the amount of time you have to wait for results, because there will be some people who sleep around loads and will have no idea when their last 'risky' incident was.

Your 'symptoms' all sound like the sort of thing everyone gets at this time of year, please dont make yourself ill with worry, it really doesnt sound like you have any reason to worry so much.

mag

[Jem27]

Hiya.

This man has been married for 12 yrs then was in a relationship for 4 yrs and recently split up. He gives blood 3 times a year but my only worry is that his ex might of slept around, I know they slept together during their break (they are now back together) he said it happened 2 weeks before me and that she hadn't been with anyone else.

He gave blood 3 weeks ago nearly, they test the blood and noone has got in touch with him to say he has anything wrong so should I not worry? my hiv test was negative 6 weeks after and my GP said no need to re test because contracting HIV is soooo difficult, its less than 1% he said. He said he had a hiv test after 6 weeks once and he trusted it so I should too.

Its just because i have these raised glands and im feeling abit sweaty in the night im thinking i have hiv. I read its night sweats, would I be soaking? im not like that im just abit clammy to touch. I did have that virus though 4 weeks after it happened and my dr said it was nothing at all related to hiv.

My head is a mess, im too scared to tell my GP im worrying, he is a lovely dr but im afraid i will really annoy him worrying about this because when i got the result he told me to put it all behind me and move on because it was negative and no reason to re test.

Thanks for your support.

[strawberrie]

hi jem, it really really sounds sooo unlikely that you could have contracted hiv - this man hasnt slept around, he says his ex has not been with anyone else, you've already had one negative test, he gives blood regularly (he would not be giving blood in the first place if he was in a 'high risk' group).

i often wake up clammy, what is it they say about the average person losing about 2pints of water a night or something like that, it really doesnt sound like any cause for concern. I've also had glands up recently, and ive got one up in my neck at the moment.

It's easy to say, but try not to worry about it, your chances of having hiv sound as likely as getting run over by a bus, and you dont spend your time worrying about that do you?

also, dont worry about annoying your doctor - i annoy mine all the time with constant 'what if' questions. So what if he has to reassure you again, better that than needlessly worrying.

mag

[Jem27]

Thanks Strawberrie,

I shall ask him on Thursday, im dreading asking him, he will think im really annoying, he told me I had to trust it. Id been doing so well with my anxiety recently and now ive ruined it all and looks like I will ruin my christmas.

From what ive read today its 3 months for a test, its only sensitive tests that the private clinics use that can test from 6 weeks and I doubt the NHS do those. I just hope my dr was right, he said he was so confident it would be negative as the chance is less than 1% in contracting HIV from a man who even has HIV. He also said because we didn't have full sex (didnt finish, sorry) then the risk was sooooooo small. I wonder if this is true:(

[worrywuss]

awww please try not to worry about this, easier said than done i know but it really does sound like you have nothing to worry about.

the symptoms you're getting sound like you've just picked up a normal this time of year bug to me.

ask your doctor anyway, thats what hes there for and dont take it to heart if he gets annoyed at you, you need an answer to put your mind at rest once and for all.

[Jem27]

Thank you.

I just can't get it out of my head. I did trust the result until I read that the test isn't accurate until 3 months. Why would he test me at 6 weeks though if he wasn't confident?

[Grover]

I hope I dont offend anyone with this reply, but I feel knowledge is power.
It's a long story but I also went through a huge panic about the HIV thing many years ago. It now doesnt worry me at all. Although I still battle with anxiety generally.

Regardless of what you think about HIV/AIDS, there is a side to it that most us never hear. Mostly because the media doesnt want to touch it. I dont want to go into huge diatribe about it, but since the advent of the whole HIV/AIDS thing there have been many scientists, doctors, journalists, HIV+'s etc who have expressed huge doubts about the idea of HIV being the cause of AIDS. Even to the point of whether it is sexually transmitted.

The point im making is that any fear about HIV/AIDS may be completely unfounded. I actually lost a cousin to what we call AIDS, so I have a close personal connection to the subject. Although, now the idea that HIV is the cause of AIDS no longer holds water for me.

Anyway, the important thing is to make your own mind up. This is a great site to start with for anyone terrified by HIV/AIDS.

http://www.aliveandwell.org/

This is a documentary on google video that may also alay your fears and is well worth the watch. Copy and past the link into a new browser window and hit return. It can be a bit pixelated but if you shrink the page the quality will improve.

http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-8826984308137799330&q=the+other+side+of+aids:D

[Jem27]

Urm thank you I think.

[Jem27]

I have spoken to this man and he has told me the sex was literally 30 seconds then i stopped.

Surely im worrying over nothing???

[Grover]

Hi

Sorry, my response probably seemed a bit long winded and maybe not relevant. Its a lot to take on board. Basically HIV tests only detect antibodies, which are known NOT to be specific to HIV only. If you have had a negative result then you need not be anxious at all. Dont get into the mind set of 'what if I had one further down the line'.

Because of the non specific antibody nature of the tests they can be prone to false positives, meaning that other things have been known to produce a positive result other than HIV. In essence what I am saying is question what you have been told about HIV tests? how accurate are they? Do they tell you anything worth knowing? These articles are worth a look.

http://www.virusmyth.net/aids/data/cjtestfp.htm

http://tmh.floonet.net/articles/testban.shtml

[Jem27]

Thanks so much Grover, I appreciate your reply.