Dolphin8808
14-07-14, 14:33
My biggest health anxiety issue is cancer. Every lump I find, I freak. It scares me so bad.... I found lumps in my mouth, had them checked. Had a lump in my breast, had a biopsy (even though doc said it wasn't necessary), have a lump on my arm, had it checked. It never ends.
My most recent? 2 really hard lumps in my neck. One on each side of my windpipe, same exact size, place, feel (like bones). They move when I swallow and don't cause pain. Could they have been there this entire time. YES! Maybe I just never noticed them? I keep calming myself down, since I have no other symptoms, and the fact they are symmetrical is huge plus factor and does make me feel a bit better. I have annual physicals and my most recent was only 2 months ago, she always checks my neck etc. No issues. woohoo! Score one for me!
But then I will hear stories, an employee of mine just told me that her brother who is only 43 has bone cancer and lymphoma. GREAT! Just what I needed to hear, so again, I am googling. Someone of facebook posted a pic of their friend who has cancer in their lymph nodes. Again, FREAKING!
Sometimes I get so wrapped up in the "what ifs" I forget about NOW.
I am on zoloft which helps a lot. But I watched my father die of cancer, and the fact that its so common, cancer centers are everywhere... It just sucks. I hate it. I wish I had a crystal ball and it could show me that I live a long happy life and die peacefully of old age. Man, I would be so much happier.
:weep:
My most recent? 2 really hard lumps in my neck. One on each side of my windpipe, same exact size, place, feel (like bones). They move when I swallow and don't cause pain. Could they have been there this entire time. YES! Maybe I just never noticed them? I keep calming myself down, since I have no other symptoms, and the fact they are symmetrical is huge plus factor and does make me feel a bit better. I have annual physicals and my most recent was only 2 months ago, she always checks my neck etc. No issues. woohoo! Score one for me!
But then I will hear stories, an employee of mine just told me that her brother who is only 43 has bone cancer and lymphoma. GREAT! Just what I needed to hear, so again, I am googling. Someone of facebook posted a pic of their friend who has cancer in their lymph nodes. Again, FREAKING!
Sometimes I get so wrapped up in the "what ifs" I forget about NOW.
I am on zoloft which helps a lot. But I watched my father die of cancer, and the fact that its so common, cancer centers are everywhere... It just sucks. I hate it. I wish I had a crystal ball and it could show me that I live a long happy life and die peacefully of old age. Man, I would be so much happier.
:weep: